inlaws!

[bert74]

We have my mother in law, father in law, sister in law, her partner and her son coming for Christmas.
Should they embrace my Christmas traditions as they are in my house or is that selfish and I should do what they do?

that's the point of going to someone else christmas day you get to experience it the way they do it,

If you came to my family christmas day, you would be doing all the things we do, lots of which are the best bits from christmas I have experienced else where.

I'm sure they will enjoy it.

SIL just dropped off a bag of presents in front of my 6 yo Ds and was horrified that I wouldn't let her put them under the tree, as I believe that Santa delivers them all and she says he only brings the stocking ones!

I think if ILs bring the presents then ILs should get the credit! Surely your DS can understand that people get each other presents as well as Santa bringing some?

He knows who gives him the gift, but Santa has to deliver them.

Why does Santa have to deliver every single last present? What about presents that he might get given eg at school, or what if you don't get to see a family member til Boxing Day one year? I think you are being a bit daft tbh. But each to their own!

in our house, Father Christmas brings the presents, but only the socking is from him. Others have been brought by father christmas but are from other people. Could you make sure your SIL actually gets the credit even if they are brought to your house by Santa?

But also, if they are coming to you, they fit in with you.

When we have been to the pils for xmas we have to endure their traditions (obviously dh is used to them but I am not and never will embrace.playing silly games).

Can you not meet in the middle?

Is she having Xmas day with you? Surely she could just bring them with her?

I think Santa as Postman is a bit odd tbh. My lot would never buy that.

I've never heard of the Santa as Postman tradition before either. I quite like a tree surrounded by pressies in the lead up to Christmas. It always looks a it bare and lonely after they've all been opened.

But, to answer your question, yes they should respect your traditions when they come to your house no matter how wierd they are.

Im a childminder and the amount of parents that gave me the look on friday while saying we will have to send these off to santa

We have always done stocking off santa and the rest off us and family etc
Why should santa get all the glory

Yeah, because Santa as postman is the implausible bit

Oh I am being grilled nearly every day about the details of whole Santa deal. DD is 5 been a skeptic since she was 3, DS is 8 and cheerfully agnostic about it. Santa as postman would just open up far too many questions about the logistics.

We had it the other way around, with dh saying all presents came from FC. We now adopt my division of stockings from FC and tree ones from us/other people. It makes it easier to explain thank you cards, means we have more control over expensive presents and managing expectations, explains why there are stockings and tree presents, and makes it lighter for FC to travel and gives more room in the sleigh.

I guess it also depends how old their son is, as a clash of traditions might affect their belief too, with SIL having to explain why he is postman to everything in your house but only stockings or whatever in their house. Maybe you could say that the grown ups can decide when the presents arrive/ where and SIL asked him to bring them early to her house so there is more room on the sleigh on Christmas eve.

I do share some of your pain though, when my dsis decided one year to buy dd1+2 Hawkins stockings and pretend that they were from FC, we didn't know in advance and had to explain to a 5yr old and 3yr old why FC had decided to deliver one lot to us on Christmas Eve, and a second lot to my sister 4 days later. But had decided it wasn't worth giving one to ds who was a few months old, whereas he had given him some bath toys and sleepsuits first time around. They were nice big stockings though so had to go and buy matching one for ds and ask FC to bring more stocking fillers the next year.

I was going to agree with you but my presents are from me and I don't have a special arrangement with Santa- so YABU. Just say that Santa only delivers if people ask him and SIL likes to do it herself. ( I never know why Santa wants to play postman when he is busy enough himself!)

I think generally if you stay with someone you fit in with their traditions.

I do think though in the interest of not confusing/upsetting the DCs, you should discuss the logistics of FC with your guests now, and agree a compromise/explanation.

It is quite a simple one- as SIL I would just say that I like to hand deliver because Santa is busy enough without me bothering him! Quite easy for a child to understand.

Its funny when family rang on Christmas day and asked my boys what santa had got them they reeled of a list of tat

Regardless of whether or not the MN jury agree with your traditions, they are yours and your family will have to respect/endure them when coming to yours. If there are some things you can do or include to make them feel welcome that makes yo a good host, but you get to cook the turkey the way you want etc.

Most things you can control - but not other people's presents!

Can I just say that one of the best things about a relative free Christmas is that we please ourselves entirely - no fuss, no dilemmas....life is so much simpler.

I'd allow sil to deliver the present herself, it's her gift to give to your ds, I think you should lighten up a bit, it's meant to be a bit of fun and I think you may have forgotten the spirit of the season - mind you it's easy to do, from what I can see christmas can end up being more about rules, traditions, upset and general grumpiness - it's up to you to decide what's important.