Don't like Christmas Day - your tips, pls

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

Background: I have 2 DC - DS aged 6 and DD aged 3. I am divorced from their father.

I just don't like Christmas Day. I love Advent, tree has been up since 1 Dec. Taking kids to Lapland UK on Friday. Can't get enough of all that sort of thing.

But Christmas Day - bleurgh. Kids wake up early, overhyped, rip the paper off their presents in 10 minutes and then spend the day whingeing and bored and tired.

I want to give them a lovely Christmas day full of fun and excitement. But it's all about the presents for them and they just end up so overhyped and then ungrateful. Last year, DS said 'I hate these presents. I want different ones'.

Normally they are great kids but Christmas seems to bring out the worst in them.

So - what do I do to make the day less awful and to stop me wanting to strangle them by 7.45am?

No family around, so we won't be visiting anyone or being visited. I think we might go to church in the morning, so that will take an hour. We could go out to the park or something in the afternoon.

What do you guys all do which makes Christmas day special and stops all the whingeing?

wow - thanks!

i love the idea of breaking the day up. my worry is all the nagging that there will be about more presents. if i produce one an hour and they know there are more to come (or work out the pattern), then there will be whingeing and ungrateful behaviour.

i despise it all. i hate what it turns my children into, i suppose. they are normally lovely, sweet kids. prone to temper tantrums and odd moments of greed about things, but generally lovely. and then there is christmas day behaviour!

when i separated from their dad, i actually thought i might just let him have every Christmas day because i hate their behaviour so much on that day. but the kids have asked to spend this christmas with me because they were with him last year. and i know how much it means to them that father christmas is coming to mummy's house this year, so i want it to be special. it could be the last year that DS unconditionally believes in father christmas too.

i think the key is to try and treat it like a normal holiday day. just with presents.

i am not going to cook a huge meal either. there isn't any point as the kids won't really eat that much.

mostly it is just the behaviour that worries me.

oh and - yes, they have bought each other presents and a present for me too. we went to poundland and i said they could each buy something for each other, something for their dad, something for my BF and something for me. DD (aged 3) found a pink packet of Bodyform towels and took them up to my BF and said 'I want to get these for mummy'. . he didn't get them even as a joke because he knows i am a mooncup convert!

DS was in awe at Poundland - and still is. he was saying this morning 'it's just awesome. everything costs a pound. not two pounds. just one'.

How long ago did you split? Many they are just having an unsettled phase. I am sure they are good and lovely really.

Maybe. Bloody autocorrect.

Oh this is our 3rd Christmas apart. Their vile behaviour is reserved for Christmas present opening! DD is a madam and DS is prone to emotional outbursts which are disproportionate to the size of the trigger. However the Christmas present opening behaviour is a speciality that they wheel out each year!

Don't let them get up too early - if they do send them back to bed. MyMum always told us that if we got up before 7am then Father Christmas would magic the presents away! It helped that the stockings were in the living room, not the bedrooms.

A bit of telly wouldnt hurt either, Room on the Broom is on Christmas Day afternoon.

You have my sympathies though, I hate the fact its so hyped up and expectations are massive.

I think you need to be in control of the presents.

Have them open them one at a time, really slowly. Then play with them for a bit before the next one.

Don't put masses of presents under the tree - just one or two each, so that they can enjoy them for a while before others appear. Make sure they know who gave them what.

Sorry, I am repeating what has already been suggested. must read the whole thread before replying

Can you get them to help with the food preparation.

Buy some of the ready-made croissant dough and get them rolling up croissants into funny shapes for breakfast.

Encourage them to make wrap the sausages in bacon or peel the sprouts. Put on carols and get everyone singing.

Try and create some new traditions this year, so that the focus on presents is reduced.

Don't open the presents all at once - open the stockings before breakfast, if you go to church open some more after that, and again after lunch.

There are families who open presents before tea, it doesn't have to be a 5.30am stampede.

I'd spread the presents out and do more with the rest of the day, go out for a walk, taking some soup / hot chocolate, new bikes / balls etc.

Oh, and my mum told me that father Christmas may not make it to our house on Christmas Day, it may be Boxing Day instead - look at all the other children in the world who will also be getting presents.......

She ended up slamming wardrobe doors at 8am to get my sister and I to wake up!

Oo ready made croissant dough. Where do you get that from? They would LOVE that!

It's by Jus Rol you can get in most supermarkets - in the chilled section near the other chilled pastry packs.

It comes in a sort of cardboard can that you twist open.

P.S. My DCs efforts tend to look off-puttingly poo-like. But they do enjoy the rolling and twisting and are happy to eat the end results.

Hi there - sorry haven't read all the thread but we always had our presents spaced out during Christmas Day, so there was always something to look forward to, and we now do the same with ds's and it works really well.

So we have 'tree presents' at about 5pm/6pm - they're little/silly presents which stay on/by the tree all day and the boys really look forward to getting them after Christmas dinner. Might help spread the excitment?!

Fantastic I think poo-like croissants may be just what we need on Christmas morning!

I will try to set the expectation that presents will be throughout the day rather than all at once. If I can achieve that it will make my day so much less stressful!

Yeah - nothing says Christmas like a poo croissant.

I hope you have a wonderful, stress-free day .

We always told DC that presents would vanish if opened before a set time - they were downstairs by the tree. There was a nice idea on here of putting wrapping paper over door frame so they can jump throug and you can control opening time! That may over hype them. I second the idea of FC presents in the morning and others later on if that works with the presents they have. Colouring books and felt tips are a good way to calm them down - maybe they could both colour a picture v carefully to send to FC as a thank you or they could make paper crowns for Christmas dinner - you cut the shapes out of card and they decorate.
I would suggest an early night Christmas Eve - my DC would never sleep late and would be grumpy after late nights - that way at least they won't be tired and you can have a little time to yourself and an earlyish night too. HTH

My sympathies to you, so many of us have been there. Our expectations are so high, there's bound to be disappointment & a feeling of anti climax.
My only suggestion that worked for me is a big swimming session on Christmas Eve to exhaust them, then an early night for all.

Agree with breaking the day up.

I think a family-friendly church a decent walk away is very useful in this regard! Ours has a play area at the back for the kids, so they can roll around, colour in, etc, and by the time we walk there and back we've used 2.5 hours.

Our 3 are allowed to open their stockings and their main present from Father Christmas in the morning . I put the roast in the oven then we have a leisurely breakfast followed by a trip to the park for a couple of hours to try out new games/toys: inline skates this year Which wears them all out. Dcs then watch a DVD with a snack while Dh and i finish making xmas lunch . We sit down for for lunch about 2pm. Dcs help clear up afterwards and we charades, twister, xfactor, watch tv. After tea at about 7pm we open the rest of the presents which takes us up to bedtime. The dcs take it in turns to hand out the presents one at a time so it lasts a bit longer iykwim.

I agree you need to stagger the day. Children always do get over excited and over tired at Christmas.

Another idea is on Xmas eve when you leave a mince pie, sherry and carrot (or similar) for FC, get someone to write a reply (or do it yourself in unusual writing) from FC saying thanks and how much rudolph enjoyed his carrot etc and that he wants them to be good children over Christmas day, help mummy where possible and start with helping to wash up his empty glass and plate. Also, write soemthing about how lucky they are to have received their gifts and they should take time to think of some children in the world who wont be as fortunate as them. Him and his elves will be watching all day on Xmas day to make sure that children that have been lucky enough remain on the good/nice list. If it helps even write a brief basic itinery (in a creative/fun way) - suggesting they open their stockings then get dressed and breakfast and help mummy with the chores, go for a walk/walk the dog/go to church/take a gift around to an elderly or lonely neighbour or whatever then main presents a little later.

The thing is if they just get up this year to a completely new routine on Xmas day with no idea how things will change (the 6yo) at least will winge and be upset and the 3yo probably join in. So you need some way of getting the message across in a fun way beforehand or in the morning.

In our house (cringe my 14 and 11yo) are still visited on Xmas eve by the Christmas Fairy who brings nice new Christmas PJs around tea time - so this maybe an idea or another chance to leave a fun message or letter requesting good behaviour and explaining how Xmas day may go. If money is short and you dont want to do Xmas PJs she could perhaps deliver some reindeer food for your DC to sprinkle on the path/drive outside to "light up the reindeers way". I used to make mine from porridge oats and glitter in little paper bags.

Also alot of groundwork over the next few days about what Christmas means (banging head against brick wall - I know) but talk alot about how its a time for giving and sharing and kindness not just about the presents - although acknowledge thats a very exciting aspect. To reinforce this message get them to spend time making something special for Grandparents/aunts etc whoeever you will be seeing over Xmas, get the involved and excited as you can about the fact they are making it, wrapping it up and how pleased "Grand-dad will be to get it" etc etc. It can be anything - a robot made out of a cornflakes packet painted - it does not need to be expensive or artistic. The aim of this is to get them to realise there is pleasure in giving something not just receiving.

Change wont happen overnight- and please dont think I am preachy or have the perfect grateful kids - because I dont but your DC are still young enough to make changes and start new christmas traditions, so just try and be imaginative on how you do it.

Sorry for the long post.

It's already been done but yes to the civilised present opening - it will be a good lesson (esp for the 6 year old) to take an interest in others and be excited on behalf of others for what they are getting. Our routine at home was very much like Fellatio's no presents opened until everyone was sat around with a cup of tea, FC presents in the am then nothing from family until after lunch to spread them out over the day. It was nice because we then got to enjoy FC presents all morning and then have a whole other set in the evening.