DDs (7 and 4) were told there's no Santa. What can I do?

[lurkingaround]

That's it really. My neighbour's boy told her that parents buy the presents. I was there for the conversation and changed the subject, and gave it no attention. I also had violent feelings towards the boy

So. What will I do? I know DD at 7 years will think, and so be it, but I am absolutely not ready for my 4 yo to not believe.

Will I do the Elf thing? A letter from Santa? We have no tradition of this kind of thing in our house so I'm a bit unsure, and I don't want to make them more suspicious.

What will I do?

Say maybe he's so naughty father Christmas doesn't visit him so his parents have to buy him presents??? Joke!

Some people feel that it's outright lying to keep on about believing in FC, I want it to last as long as possible and wonder if this is the last one for ds 8.

They have never questioned if he's real though

I did that video from the north pole last year where you upload a photograph and write about their favourite things and FC sends a video back, they absolutely loved that

here

Thanks, duletty. I would be sorely tempted to say FC wont call to the boy. I'm so cross with him.

I will definitely do that one.

Whatever about the DCs, but I am horrifed at FC's possible premature demise from our Christmas!

Umm maybe cos there are SO many children in the WHOLE world father Christmas needs a little help from the folks! That he always gets the good children a present but that mums n dads help him out by getting a few extra and post them off to him?!

We tell our children that we work with Father Christmas, so we can tell him about their behaviour and we send him the money for the presents, but that FC delivers them. Would that save the day? ,

I heard this elsewhere (haven't tried it myself): you say

'Oh dear, I think what's happened is that if children don't believe in Father Christmas, he doesn't come to them any more. So the parents often leave some presents instead so no one is too disappointed, but it isn't quite the same, is it?'

A girl at school told DD that the Easter Bunny wasn't real, so she asked me and I wasn't prepared to tell a direct lie. She then went on to ask about Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy. I explained about myths and how some things don't exist physically but come into being through people's belief. So she doesn't believe that a man with a red suit and a white beard lives at the North Pole, but she does believe that there is Father Christmas who we all create together who is a sort of spirit of Christmas, and she believed in that strongly enough that she mostly forgets that he isn't real.

We still do all the letters and everything and my two are 16 and 11! And, for the avoidance of doubt, haven't believed for yeqrs!

I daw a really nice letter about this on Pinterest, actually. I will check if I've pinned it and post a link if I can find it.

We do the FC only visits those who believe in him and have for away with it so far, although DD1 is now very suspicious as her teacher told them FC doesn't exist, but we still try to keep her believing as her sister still believes and we don't want her to spill the beans during one of their arguments. Suppose we are lucky to have got away with it for so long as she is 11!

I'm sorry, I just don't believe that 11 year olds still believe! She's kidding you- and that's absolutely fine.

I tell my dcs that some people believe and some dont, those who dont their parents have to buy their presents and for those who do Father Christmas bring their presents

You could tell the DD's that not everyone believes in Father Christmas because they have different beliefs/faiths; perhaps that boy belongs to one of those families. Ask them what they believe. Lots of people who are not committed christians celebrate Christmas.

You can get around the present issue by saying that presents are from the people who gave them, we always claimed that stockings only were from FC. If they decide that FC doesn't exist, research the story of St Nicholas, and how his generosity is continued by the exchange of presents. You could commemorate this by buying a gift to donate to a charity.

When I was 7, I woke up while my mum was replacing the filled stocking at the foot of my bed, although I pretended to still be asleep and never let her know! I still liked the idea of FC even though I knew he wasn't real. Even before that, I believed that FC's in shops and grottoes were just deputies!

Here's the link to the letter I saw:
www.cozi.com/live-simply/truth-about-santa

We insist that FC only delivers if you believe. If you stop believing he doesn't come anymore. I would probably go online and do the thing where you can type in details of your DC's and get videotime with Santa

Combine with a letter that arrives with lots of detail and you'll be fine. Most children want to believe.

I'd probably have had violent unpleasant thoughts as regards the neighbour too by the way.

Probably should have said that we did a lot of this last year after DSS's Mum the selfish cow told DSS as "It was about time he knew the score".

Thanks! Great ideas. I like the parents asssisting FC one, that'd go down well with DD1. We did the "he only comes to believers" one, so maybe we've eased the path a bit.

I'd love to see the letter Clothide.

It hasn't been mentioned since the boy was here, so I hope they still believe. It's just the way DD1 looks at me when she asks "can I have x for Christmas?" And when I say "ask FC", she looks at me intently and says, "yes ok, but can I really have x?"

Will start putting some of your ideas into action.

Thanks Clothilde!

I knew FC wasn't real (for what seemed like years) before I let on to my parents. For DSs (6 and8) we will have stockings...and Mum and Dad will give more significant pressies. In fact DS1 has already had his main pressie (he got a new bike very recently). He is suspicious that Santa doesn't exist, but like anklebiter says, he doesn't want it confirmed!

Desperately sweet letter. Tears in my eyes.

My eldest is 9, he knows I buy some but the Big Stuff comes from Father Christmas. Dd is 6 and still believes 100%.

Why is it the boy's fault? If people choose to celebrate a myth then the truth will come out in the end and you have to understand that when you decide to buy into it and tell your kids that's what happens - you do it in the knowledge that one day they will find out it's just a story.

Your children will still have a lovely Christmas, but if they are upset then you could say 'Well some people believe in FC and some don't. What you believe is up to you' and then carry on as you would have.

I am pretty sure my 8 year old doesn't believe any more but doesn't want to let on just in case.......
We do the Santa video every year so I would try that with the four year old as she will want to believe more.

Oh that letter is lovely x

Well anyway FC deliver ONE or TWO present or the stocking per child and the parents buy some too? And I think you'll find that you kids WANT to believe and will be keen to believe your explanation, so just gloss over what the boy said.
My 8-year old worked out the truth and when she asked me outright I had to tell her the truth but she happily agreed to play along for DD2 (5) sake, and I must say she plays it with conviction