How do you make Christmas dinner for 11 when you can't cook and...

[StarlightMcKenzie]

will be out of the country until the evening of 22nd, don't drive, aren't loyal enough to any delivery companies to bag a grocery shop, have a tiny fridge and freezer and 3 children under 6?

I have NEVER EVER made a roast in my life btw!

you'll be fine, i promise
you've already mentioned the most important thing, which is the timings. i always have to write mine down and set little alarms
but there are no actual techniques in cooking a roast - you just heat stuff up!

Asda slots will be available 28th in my area, worth checking if you don't want M&S prices.

Book your slot with M&S online. I got mine yesterday for late christmas eve afternoon. The online site will also tell you where your nearest store is.
The free wine offer has expired now.

Get the boneless turkey crown or breast. Feeds 8-10 so will be big enough with all the other veg.

I am sure that it is early enough for you to get an ASDA delivery slot, Starlight. In my experience, they don't start booking the slots until much closer to christmas, and it will be easy enough to check on their website when they do start booking them.

I also have a small oven so put the turkey in about eight following Nigella's timings in 'how to eat' then take it out at least an hour and a half before we want to eat, cover it with two layers of foil and a couple of thick towels and it stays hot. Just remember to put it on a deep tray or the juices start to leak onto the floor and the dog is in heaven!
Then put the roast potatoes in already parboiled. All veg is prepped on 24th and put in steamer ( got ours really cheap from tescos). it then has a timer so no danger of overcooking and will keep warm in there for a little while.
Christmas pud is reheated in the slow cooker starting when I put the turkey in. If you have a microwave then buy gravy and bread sauce to reheat.

Ask a friend to double up quantities when they are doing theirs and pay them back with wine, baby sitting favours, etc?

Waitrose party food - everything all prepared just heat it - all delivered - get on the website now and book it - Leave stuff outside like the veggies as it will be cold out there and make sure no animals can reach it - good luck!

(ps - don't invite 11 people to dinner next year :) )

You appear to have designed this meal to be as tricky as humanly possible OP! Get them to bring booze/crackers/soft drinks then - I think M&S or Waitrose entertaining (combined with some freezer party nibbles) is probably the way forward. Dont do formal sit down dinner - do buffet type stuff which means you can have a selection of hot and cold food to reduce the pressure on you - and your kitchen...

Agh, couldn't not invite. Second Christmas without my dad and first Christmas without my uncle. Everyone wants my kids as a distraction but DS with his ASD has to stay at home iyswim, - so coming to us.

They're good guests and will probably look after themselves but I don't want to get anything majorly wrong. I don't even know WHAT you cook a turkey in tbh and have only just realised that 3 wine glasses would mean taking turns.

Why don't you just get Waitrose or someone to deliver on the 23rd? Book the slot now, or as soon as it is available. Get yourself a copy of BBC Good Food mag on line which will give you an idiot's guide/backwards timings for cooking the meal. I'm not calling you an idiot btw, rather the guide they do is very very easy to follow.

I totally agree that going to Kingston at any time in December is an act that one needs to prepare for, many months in advance! It once took me four hours to get from there to home, normally a 20 minute trip into SW London.

If money is tight but you're feeding the five thousand, how about looking into naice disposable glasses and plates if you're doing buffet/starter? You can then save the crockery plates for main course.

Or Ikea, if there's one near you? (Although IME Ikea crockery chips like buggery)

Will also save on the stress of trying to wash everything between courses.

You can borrow wine glasses from Majestic Wine if you buy your wine from them. There's one in Kingston at the bottom of Kingston Hill.

Supermarkets don't offer Xmas delivery slots for the asking if you don't normally shop with them (bitter experience).

What about Tesco Click and Collect?

Re wine glasses, our Waitrose do that too. They do eventually run out, ask now!

Or borrow from a friend who's going away? Or get a guest to bring some?

My wine glasses were something silly like £3 for six from IKEA, a few years ago now, but I bought two dozen and still have 15 left even after the carnage of DP's fiftieth.

Supermarkets I'm sure will do Xmas delivery to anyone who pays and books! You just need to do your order and pay by credit card. You can even change your order up till the night before.

Plan. Decide exactly what you are going to serve. Order it. Add some wine glasses to the order. Once it's ordered and paid for it should be fine. Barring snow storms etc etc. But you can't worry about that now!

You cook a turkey in a large disposable foil tray. Currently £2 for 2 in tesco. Use the other for your roasties.