Christmas present - too expensive?

[Netguru]

I'm married for a second time. My first (replacement) wedding ring had a large diamond in it - I adored the ring but unfortunately, after 20 years, not the husband!

My husband now is an absolute sweetie. My wedding ring has a large sapphire in it which he joked when we bought it that he would replace with a diamond if/when he could. No chance - I adore it as it is.

He's coming into a large sum (just under 100k) in a week or so and wants to spend a little more in Christmas than normal. He's offered to spend up to 4k on a ring for me - and I've found one I like. He's going to buy the kids a couple of nicer than normal bits and himself a new desktop mac. Then save the rest/pay off some of the mortgage.

We are not short of money by any stretch of the imagination but I can't help but think 4k on a ring is a little extravagant. I have looked to find one I like for less but can't - and would feel one which was 'ok' would be a bigger waste of money.

He genuinely wants me to be happy. Can't help but think I should be happy with less. To be honest, if I didn't get a ring I genuinely wouldn't mind. But he's right, we can afford it.

Can't help but wonder what I should do. He wants to share a percentage of his good fortune which is lovely.

I know it's a nice dilemma to be in and we are very fortunate. My BF said I should find something nice that I wouldn't buy myself like a pair of jimmy choos for example, which would be equally frivolous but less expensive. Can't find any inspiration on that but still looking.

I'd have the ring

You can afford it, he wants to buy it so why not?

I'd be too frightened if losing the ring to ever wear it.
There must be something else he could buy you instead, or several smaller things??

Crosspost with Everlong

If you want the ring buy the ring!

by the way

For 4k I'd want a once in a lifetime European city break in a 5 star hotel, but that's just me!

If you feel uncomfortable, just pick something cheaper yet meaningful like keepsake diamond earrings or some such.

Bite his hand off! Jewellery is an investment anyway.

I would be a bit torn because it is a lot of money on a piece of jewellery however, it is an investment and will generally (especially with the high end pieces) retain it's value.

I would have a really good look around to see if there is anything else you would prefer that that kind of money could buy you (holiday, shopping spree etc) and if the ring comes out on top after all that then go for it and enjoy it

I wouldn't want it, I'd hate walking around with 4k on my finger. I know someone with an expensive ring and its only insured when its inside their safe so she can only wear it on special occassions.

I'ld prefer to be bought a masters module, or like another poster, a posh train holiday, or art that I loved (ring is same for some people I guess) or a personal chef for a couple of months :-D. I'd hate the ring, I'd look at it and see all those other things and resent it LOL

Does it have to be a ring? I would personally hate to feel responsible for something so expensive on my finger all day- what if I lost it, or damaged it or something.

4k is a lot of money- is there something else you want?

I'd want a holiday too. Memories and experiences worth spending money on I feel.

Unless there is something you'd rather have, holiday of a lifetime, I'd take the ring and enjoy it as a token of your DH's love.

Do it. You love the ring, your dh wants to buy you it and you have the money. Happiness all around.

Simples.

There are lots of pretty rings for a lot less money. I fail to understand how you can't find another you like for nearer the £800 mark.

Completely up to you though if you have the money.

I would want an incredible holiday. If I had £100,000 I would certainly be donating to my chosen charity rather than spend 4k on a piece of jewellry (and then I'd have the holiday).

I think £4k is an OK amount to spend on a ring but I don't understand how you can replace a wedding ring, blessed during the ceremony and part of a life-long bond and promises. Mine cost £200, 21 years ago and I couldn't bear for it to be replaced and wouldn't want it to be. I also feel similarly but not as spiritually about my engagement ring.

Neither of those feelings stopped DH from buying me a very nice eternity ring or a very very nice diamond ring for the third finger of my right hand.

Actually, I do think there is a lot wrong with spending 4k on a ring- but hey ho!

I don't think its wrong either if you have the money and LOVE it, but the OP doesn't sound that fussed about it so there's probably something she'd enjoy more? that makes it a bit of a waste IMO

You already have a ring, it's not as if you are ringless.

The 4k is there to be spent, but is a ring the thing that would bring you the most happiness? Or is there something else that would make you happier?

If you really want the ring and can afford it then I think you should have it. But if you are not really that bothered and think £4K is too much for a ring then don't.

I would love a 4k ring, lucky you

Buy it and enjoy wearing it! There's no point having something so very beautiful bought for you by someone who adores you and wants to spoil you and keeping ut in a safe! But be careful not to crash the car when watching it sparkle in the sunlight!

But it and enjoy it (don't forget to insure it]

If you like it, buy it! Whyever not? Your husband wants to indulge you so let him. My wedding ring was inexpensive but at the time was a fortune to us. Later, when DS1 arrived, DH bought me a beautiful diamond ring because we could afford it then. I wear it as a dress ring on my right hand and love it.

You'll never get everyone to agree on a thread like this. Only you can decide and, whatever you decide, enjoy it without guilt.