A little background, as briefly as I can!
DM moved to be closer to us 6 months ago, which I really do appreciate, but she hates it here and blames me (even though I told her I wanted to relocate myself) my brother did live in the area, but moved ferther away the same weekend my DM moved here 
we don't get along, not arguing, just have as little as pos to do with each other.
The last few months have got very strained, my DF died, and my mother always resented our relationship (they seperated when I was young) my DM cared more about how my brother took the news, even though B had nothing to do with dad for 20 years.
She has also made it clear, she doesn't like DD2, and I'm quite fed up with the comments!
Anyway, I asked my DM if she wanted to spend a few days with me and DCs, she said only if my brother is doing something with his friends. If he's alone and doesn't want to go to hers, then she will stay alone too 
if he stays at hers, if its ok with him, they may come for Dinner.
She did a similar thing last year, and ended up alone feeling sorry for herself.
It was my 1st Xmas as a singe Mum and having had her to stay every year, even when ex DP wanted a family Xmas alone, I didn't want to upset her.
But last year it felt like a kick in the teeth, she wanted me to split from ex, and I was very depressed and DD2s first Xmas too! In the end DF stayed and we had a great time for which I felt guilty 
I feel like not having her at all over Xmas and just planning it for me and DCs, maybe popping round with her gifts on Boxing Day, only if bro isn't there, he doesn't like being woken by the kids nd my kids get hurt by him not even
acknowledging them.
It's really casting a shadow over Xmas, which I love so.
If it was just us four, I worry that the kids will really feel we have no loved ones left
Sorry for the length and rambling! 