will this be the year DS finds out Father Christmas is not real?

[shelley72]

DS starts school next month. have we had the last year of him believing? what do we do if some sod child at school tells him and spoils it for him? i know its going to happen one day. but please not yet. he's only 4. i want to keep it magical for him as long as possible (and for younger DD too).

is it a given that once they are in YR its all over ? and how do you deal with it? am prepared to stretch the truth a little bit, or leave the question open for him...

It will depend on the school and how much they mix with the much older kids.
My DS was in an 'infant' school from 4 - 6 so santa was safe there. I rather suspected his first year in juniors would lead to him becoming a non believer last year but I think he still 'wanted' to believe despite being suspicious. If I am totally honest I think he is worried that if he dares not to believe the pile of pressies may drastically reduce!!!

DD was in reception for last Christmas. She still believes. I would hate to think it could get spoiled already, she will still only be 5 (in yr1) for the next Christmas.

thank you. its one of my worries about him going to 'big school' - i feel like all of his innocence is going to be lost. he is in a primary so 4 - 11 although they have a separate play area for KS1 so i am hoping that there is limited scope for mixing with much older kids - assemblies, lunchtimes (which again they have separately).

its a relief to know that they may keep the magic a bit longer. i may be getting old but children seem to grow up fast these days dont they?

DS found out last year when he was 9. If he ever said a child at school had said Santa wasn't real we asked him what did he think.
He so badly wanted to believe he was always say "they're wrong. Of course Santa is real"
We put the ball in his court and the natural progression was that he wanted to know for real lest year.

Putting the ball his court should the subject arise might be your best bet c

DS is 9 and has just found out that
father Christmas is me & his daddy,
also tooth fairy...me,
also that babies are not made by a special cuddle.

Think we have done well, to get him to 9.

I would feel gutted it my dds didn't get to 9 or 10 never mind 4! They are 5 and 7 and absolutely believe! So do all their friends! It's not the other kids so much -it's other parents as I know one or two who are like "oh I'm not lying to my child so if they ask I'll tell the truth". And so spoil it for the rest of us!

I'm takin mine to Lapland in December so hope seeing Santa there will prolong it. My niece found out at age 8 and said "well I'd like to pretend he's real" - she actually was disappointed when my db told her as she didn't want to know!

I was 11 when I finally accepted he wasn't real

PNP kept my then 7yo DS convinced last year ... www.portablenorthpole.tv/home for a totally free and fully personalised message from FC himself :-)

My son is 9 (10 next month) and still believes - he does now randomly ask me if santa is real and I just reply 'he is real if you believe in him'

I teach Year 4 kids. They all still believe! It's lovely.

dd is nearly 9 and still believes (I think), ds is 5 and still does too

My DS is 5 and starting to question things. He is going into primary 2(Scotland). But I hope to get at least another 2 years out of him!

a girl in DD1s year still fully believed until Y9 (so 13/14) - it was only when her English teacher was discussing myths and legends as a topic and said "and obviously the myth of Father Christmas" that she realised, and broke down in tears. Fortunately the rest of the class thought it was sweet rather than something to take the piss out of, and were really nice to her about it.

Ds is still 8 and still believes in FC and the tooth fairy. He goes to a new school in year 5 and I expect he will stop believing then.

I stopped believing at about 7 but was mixing with teenagers and was far more streetwise than the ds's classmates.

DS was about 7 yo but kept up the pretence for the sake of his sister.
Now they are 12.6 and 10 yo. They 'go along with' all the Christmas Traditions because they are for their benefit and just make things more fun (and they know it keeps their mother happy)

The NDN DD told DS that FC didn't exist (he wasn't traumatised just ho-hum ).

Then gradually they realised that the presents they asked for were the ones that were in the shops.
DS will say now "But if FC does the present buying, then I can have the IPad /X-Box/ drum-kit" (in that cheeky little bu**er know-it-all 12 yo way)

I tell him, "NO, the Elves make train sets out of wood and nails, or knit teddy bears.They don't do X-Boxes" so he knows it's DH and I who pay and plan.

My DS is about to go into his last year of primary and he still believes! But he understands that it is a matter of faith - believing in Father Christmas is like a belief in God or the Loch Ness Monster - some believe, some don't. I've spent years thinking this will be the last year he believes!

Oh thank you so much for putting my mind at ease. I love christmas, and always did as a child too and i want dcs to have that same excitement and wonder for as long as possible. He is very inquisitive (as 4 year olds are) and wanted to know last year how santa managed it. We used pnp and norad last year which he loved, so will do that again. We also try and do a santa visit. Would love to go to lapland, even for a day, but its so expensive and that may have to wait.

Have bought a few things already for stocking and presents, I love to see both of them so excited. Hopefully dd who is now 2 will understand a bit more this year too. She is more tricky to buy for though!

Can't wait until christmas, how long now...?

dd still believes, she'll be 8 this Christmas. I think they'll believe for however long they want to to an extent, if that makes sense. Ds is 10 and when other children said it wasn't real he always found reasons for it eg mum and dad wouldn't spend so much! Father Christmas bringing a 3/4 size pool table finally did it though . I completely agree with the "what do you think policy.

My DD is 10 & going to Yr6 & she believes and this will be the last yr (obviously!)

OP - your kid is only 4 FGS. Now the magic really starts so work on it.

DS is 8 and DD 6 and both still believe. Was slightly dubious about DS when he was 7 and in year 2 (going into year 4 in September) but in year 3 he seemed more sure he did exist. Either that or he has realised it's me and isn't saying . I would never actively say - my mum and dad told me when I was 10 and despite the fact I had known since I was 8 (found receipts etc) it still made me v sad.

I'm sure there are children in both DS and DDs class who don't believe but they are used to knowing that different people believe different things and so happy to believe what they believe iyswim

My ds is a very grown up 7yo, iyswim. He TOTALLY believes and gets annoyed if anyone at school suggests otherwise! I think he'll be devastated when he eventually finds out for real :(