to think that Christmas Day is losing its sparkle?

[crypes]

A few threads recently about Christmas Shopping all ready and the 'got to get it all done', 'beat the rush' and 'spread the expense' stuff. Well i love Easter time and even the summer hols but im just thinking about christmas and cant get excited about a day of rubbish telly,cooking,expense and keeping everyone happy. Its like 'what for'? Whats it all about nowadays really.

I don't understand really, surely Christmas is what you make it? If you don't want to spend hundreds on one day then just don't, it isn't obligatory.

Think about it less, plan it less and you will spend less and probably enjoy it more.

No, I think about it now yellow so I don't have to think about it again. You can't spring stuff on my family, you have to sow the seeds slowly and quietly and watch the ideas grow. Like, we want to spend Xmas by ourselves this year. MIL could not process that; she'd either do her piece completely or go into denial. So I have to mention it to her a lot over a long period of time and drop lots and lots of massive hints so instead of dropping it on her so she sort of internalises it slowly. We get on well and I do love her but she's big on 'tradition' and the status quo and can't quite cede her, FIL, DH, and DSIL's place at the family centre yet.

I am a general curmudgeon and humbug about most celebrations but there's something about Christmas that just makes me very excited. I don't know why. I'm sorry it's a crap time of year for you though and I have to say that amongst my friends I am the only one to get combustibly excited about the festive season.

And do you know, in all of that, I forgot the most important and frustrating thing that happened on Christmas day (well next to Jesus!). DS was born on Xmas day and that, believe me, gives it a whole extra dimension. All those who moan about Christmas need to get on the Christmas Day birthday train.

married, it's not moaning for me. I genuinely feel miserable and depressed at the very thought of Christmas. It is a deeply unpleasant day for me.

Speak for yourself.

I can understand that, yellow. I think if you've had bad memories associated with something it is really hard to shake them.

If you work in retail it's feckin' hard work!

It is LRD, and the thing is it's not just memories. Christmas continues to be horrible. My family are not close, I don't have that many friends and those I do have go to their families.

It's horrible and Christmas just reminds me of everything I don't have.

My DS has no concept of Christmas.Therefore it hasn't menat anything to me for years. I don't have a tree, turkey or buy a present most years. It is depressing for me. I loathe it all alone.

Can you change things and just have it small and personal, yellow? I gave up on family christmases just before DH and I got married as they were stressful - not awful, but not good - and it is so much nicer just to look forward to really low-key stuff like a good lie-in, carols from kings on the radio and that sort of thing. Would it work?

It's really rotten that it is not a nice day for so many people - it's making me thinking twice about going on about it myself now.

Oh yellowraincoat I'm so sorry.

yellow, if I was you I would just have it large on Xmas day. Do whatever the hell you feel like all day - watch your favourite films, eat your favourite food, don't bother getting dressed.

The thing is LRD, my partner's mum is divorced and as she lives quite far away, she rarely sees him. Her boyfriend died suddenly a few years ago and she is a bit depressed these days. So really, he needs to spend it with her and I totally understand that.

I know she'd welcome me with open arms, but it's really the only time they get to spend together so I don't want to intrude. Also, since it has such bad memories for me, I usually end up in a bit of a state whatever I do, so I wouldn't want to bring them all down with me.

Anyway. I shall stop banging on about me. Thanks for caring though LRD.

Ah, that is really tricky, and you are doing a good thing by caring about how she feels. I would feel pretty down if my partner had to get away. To be honest I bet she would love to have you there - at least one year for the day?

You weren't banging on, btw.

marriedinwhite May I come to you for Christmas dinner, please? Just the sort of atmosphere I would like.

You would be very welcome RuleBritannia. Do you think you could cope with MIL though - I've had her (and PIL when he was alive) every year since 1991 - and even though they were very dour and humbug I just ploughed on and funnily enough they kept coming back. The most I have ever had on Xmas day is 14 and the fewest five.

I love Christmas 100% but I work in the NHS with a mainly older age group of patient.

So it's usually
"Are you looking forward to Christmas"?
quickly followed by:

"I hate Christmas" , "Christmas is too commercialised" (that phrase makes me stabby).
If you hate it (and hate is a strong word) then fine. But don't spoil it for people who do enjoy it.

Most patients just want to sound off about it's OTT, they don't see family, children aren't happy with what they get.
If they ask me I usually say "Oh, lots to do, but I'm working on it" .

70s, do you ever stop to think that maybe those older people have to spend Christmas alone and that it really depresses them?

Does someone else moaning about Christmas really spoil it for you? I doubt it.

People who don't like Christmas have to put up with it for MONTHS at a time. It is really upsetting to see all the family/sparkly/fun stuff and feel left out of the whole thing.

Um .... frankly, anyone working with patients asking them if they liked Christmas would get a pretty sharp response from me! Like they're going to say 'ooh, yes, it was always my dream to be ill over Christmas, thanks for asking'?

Both my grandparents died a few days after Christmas and it has actually been shown in studies that very sick people will often 'hang on' until after Christmas. Both times the hospital and then the hospice were full of people saying they'd ruined Christmas for their families, which is awful. Not really too surprising they might not agree Christmas is the best time of the year, is it?

It is bound to lose sparkle if you are thinking about it now! Wait until December.

People who don't like Christmas have to put up with it for MONTHS at a time. It is really upsetting to see all the family/sparkly/fun stuff and feel left out of the whole thing

I agree.

YANBU. What I don't get is the people who spend their money and are modern and consumerist in a fairly average fashion the rest of the year, and then at Christmas they suddenly make a show of being all worthy and sackcloth-and-ashes.

The simple cheer of Christmas cards is a "waste of paper" from people who don't think anything of buying a daily newspaper, cardboard cup of coffee, printing out a document etc. the whole of the rest of the year! And presents should be a goat. But hold on a minute, you are sacrificing someone else's card and present that you would have got them, instead of actually giving up something of your own!

Just another day for me. I worked Christmas eve/day, boxing day and all of new year last year and will be until 2016 so...
This year will be an Indian meal

I ended up spending it alone last year and it was horrible.

But it doesn't have to be. Personally I don't celebrate it, and that's fine for me. If you are going to do Christmas for one start planning for it, and make it special for you. For many years my grandmother spent Christmas alone, through choice.

Start the day with a bath and a 2 glass mini bottle of champagne.

Have a nice breakfast, or don't, or have chocolate.

Put on your favorite music, put on a new dress and dance.

Make something special for your dinner, no scratch that, have what ever is your favorite, whether that is salmon or shepherd's pie.

Watch exactly what you want on TV - it doesn't have to be the corny Xmas stuff. A couple of years ago a friend and I watched several hours of 'extreme make over - home edition' - we both ended up bawlling. So don't watch that, unless you want a good cry.

The fact is, the hapy family all comming together and enjoying Christmas is not reallity for many people. You cannot change your family.

Alternatively you could volunteer for something like crisis, or ask if your hospital needs volunteers. How would you feel about having a couple of pensioners for Chritmas lunch? Or volunteering at one of the council run christmas lunch events.

www.crisis.org.uk/pages/volunteering-at-crisis-christmas-2009.html

christmas in july is a big thing in this part of Austraila. we can have a full roast without getting so stupidly hot! i love christmas. cold salads , bbq on beach, kids running in and out of sea.