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Original poster

Dreading 'Christmas #2' tomorrow with DH's family and their loony Christmas traditions - help!

26 replies

twolittlemonkeys · 25/12/2011 23:03

Argh, tomorrow we go and spend boxing day (complete with full Christmas dinner cooked by FIL... scary) with DH's family - FIL, 2 BILs, their wives and 6 nieces and nephews. Fine.

Except - they have an insane way of dishing out the presents which leaves us bored to tears most of the time, watching everyone else open their presents and lasts about 4 hours. BILs and SILs hold back at least half their kids' presents so that they can open them in front of everyone Xmas Hmm and about 95% of the presents in there will be for their children not ours. My DC will be bored (they are the youngest there at 5 and 3) and I know they will ask why they can't have x,y,z like their cousins. Why they can't give their kids the flashy big presents in the privacy of their own home I have no idea - I find it cringeworthily showy and insensitive (DH earns less than half of one brother and about a quarter of what the other brother earns, so we have very little disposable income compared to them).

Before you flame me for being jealous, I'm not. My children cope just fine without their own iPhones/iPod touch/other expensive gadgets, though DS1 adores them and is mesmerised by technology in general. I am happy to explain to them that we cannot afford these things and they don't 'need' them etc. But it's Christmas and would be soooo nice if the massive discrepancy between their presents and their cousins' wasn't rubbed in their faces at this time of year.

Sorry for the self-pitying post, I know my problems are trivial really. Should probably just get some sleep then wake up in the morning and fix the Xmas Smile on my face...

OP posts:
Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 25/12/2011 23:50

Your Boxing Day sounds dire, Twolittlemonkeys! Why on earth do they feel the need to have their kids open the present in front of everyone! Awful. How old are the other children?

I hope the day goes quickly for you......

McPhee · 25/12/2011 23:53

Oh jeez, it sounds dire.

I'd not be able to stop rolling my eyes if it were me Blush

PeaceofCakeAndGoodWineToAllMN · 25/12/2011 23:54

Can't you turn up late?

Sparklingbaubles · 25/12/2011 23:57

Yes ring them up and say you are running late and to start the blatant show-offery present opening without you. Smile

Methe · 26/12/2011 00:03

I know other people that to the public present opening thing. Weird.

Can't you develop leprosy or plague or something hideously infectious and stay at home and eat chocolate.

Christmascack · 26/12/2011 00:18

Fuck that sounds dreadful. Blatent showing off, and there is no need, their children will grow up spoiled (well maybe they wont but, grr on your behalf), I HATE bullshit christmas family stuff that you just hate and do not enjoy. im so glad i dont have to do it.

Janni · 26/12/2011 00:23

Sounds awful. I would agitating to get out of the present opening nonsense.

Original poster
twolittlemonkeys · 26/12/2011 00:25

Hehehe, I think that any attempt to be late/ill would be seen through in a second as I've voiced my dislike of it in the past Xmas Grin but have been given guilt trips along the lines of 'you never know when it could be FIL's last Christmas' Xmas Hmm The DNs are between 7-15 and lovely, but very materialistic.

One SIL has just emailed to say if DS1 who has ASD gets restless, her DH will engineer his present from them to appear so that he will be distracted and play with it (it is something he'll love that they bought in the USA, and if he's distracted, he won't notice his cousins getting ipods and the like).

Next year this whole charade will be on Christmas day Xmas Shock and all the presents will be included... I'm thinking of booking a holiday tbh Xmas Wink

OP posts:
3duracellbunnies · 26/12/2011 04:56

If you don't book a holiday next year, I would just say that because of your dislike of their blatent materialism your son's ASD, you will be skipping the presents, and arrive for lunch. Will still be lots of the day left to get through enjoy. Just hope that this year your two get really bored and disruptive, so that it is seen as an all round good idea! Your children just want to play with their cousins, not have a technology fair. Good luck today.

googietheegg · 26/12/2011 08:43

Could you go for a walk when the present bit happens? If anyone says anything, you can say "oh this bit isn't really for our family, we don't want to make the kids feel dissatisfied with their presents."

Sparklingbaubles · 26/12/2011 08:48

Wishing you strength for today monkeys. Sounds bloody horrible,

amerryscot · 26/12/2011 09:36

We open presents one at a time with everyone else looking on. It is far nicer than the big free-for-all that takes all of 30 seconds.

Sparklingbaubles · 26/12/2011 09:38

Not on Boxing Day though merry?

perceptionreality · 26/12/2011 10:11

'Look how much stuff we've got' - ewww how tacky. Poor you! I wouldn't want to go either. I don't know anyone who doesn't open their presents until Boxing Day because they're so desperate to show off. Awful.

Sparklingbaubles · 26/12/2011 10:13

I wonder what the DC think about half the presents being held back til today? Don't they wonder why?

ThompsonTwins · 26/12/2011 10:34

Twolittle It sounds dire. The present opening sounds horrendous but the part I would like would be the large, family party. Just DD2 (17) and I here - estranged from DD1 and DS, family a long way away. It won't be many years 'til DD is off and gone with BF's family or whatever. I hope you get through it OK. Guess there must be MNers with the perfect family Christmas (remember LeQueen and what her whole family achieves) but it is just a few days in the year.

BerylStreep · 26/12/2011 11:49

Why don't you get your DC to bring their favourite presses with them, and get them to play with them in another room when the present-fest is happening?

trixymalixy · 26/12/2011 12:37

My aunt and uncle do this too, they open all their presents in the morning, but always buy each other something really showy and save it until the whole family is there to open them. They also deliberately leave the prices on the presents they buy for my kids. The first time I thout it was just a mistake, but it happens every time.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 26/12/2011 14:15

Trixy, that's horrendous! Why why why do people feel the need to boast and gloat like that?

Really makes me cringe.

Molehillmountain · 26/12/2011 15:09

I find Christmas with in laws challenging just from the perspective of having to hand over control Confused. So we make it a rule that wherever we are Christmas day, we do breakfast and stocking opening our way in our home. Mil is loving and kind but some of the traditions are strange and the breakfast at ours rule helps me to cope

Sparklingbaubles · 26/12/2011 20:47

monkeys how was it?

BerylStreep · 26/12/2011 20:57

Trixy do they keep prices on so that you can return them?

trixymalixy · 26/12/2011 22:08

They buy absolutely beautiful toys from independent toy shops and Christmas fair type things, so unlikely we could ever return them. It's a shame, they are clearly expensive toys, we don't need to see the price tag to know that.

MrsHeffley · 26/12/2011 22:15

Hmm well my mil decides when and who gets presents to open throughout the day. She randomly selects presents from under the tree(that are from several different people)and gives them out as and when she sees fit.You may or may not be one of the lucky present openers at any given time.Nobody else is allowed anywhere near said tree.

The last year I went there was a stocking from my mum I wasn't allowed to touch until about 11pm.

Twas the last time ever.

Sil goes every year and mil does everything,even the stockings for her kidsConfused!

BerylStreep · 27/12/2011 13:37

Wonder how the OP got on?

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