Christmas always seems to be at my house.

[FriedeggandFrenchbeans]

I really don't want to be scrooge. But, it always seems to be up to me and Dh to host Christmas. Its hard because I have 4 DC and that's enough for me already without putting up guests and catering and clearing up after them. I have a lot of siblings and I have the biggest house, but to be fair its a 3 bed semi for the five of us, not huge. I just feel a bit put out by the expectation that they can come and stay while I cook and clean up around them. They are not the sort to help with much of this. I hate to turn people away but I want some peace with my children plus DH has to put up with my family all the time whilst his are abroard.

After you've all eaten this year, casually bring up the question of who is hosting next year as you & dh would like a change from all the cooking/cleaning/providing for etc. I'm not the most subtle of people though & that's what I'd do. They can't really complain if you do the majority of the work while they enjoy themselves. Plus, we see a lot more of my mil than my dad but she'd never expect to be hosted every year without reciprocating

I actually like hosting Christmas every year but then I know that our doing so is not taken for granted and the visitors (my parents usually stay over 2 nights and a cousin comes on the day only) always contribute generously to the meal.

You could do as lucysmam suggests or, alternatively, you could ask those coming to bring a specific contribution to the meal. We always provide the main course but the first course, the crackers, the wine and, this year, a cheeseboard are being brought by our guests.

"I just feel a bit put out by the expectation that they can come and stay while I cook and clean up around them. They are not the sort to help with much of this."

Then don't invite them, they sound like really hard work! In your shoes I would either do as Lucysmam suggested or just announce that next year, the 6 of you will be battening down the hatches. Sod 'em, the ungrateful gets.

agree with the above - don't invite them!!

Why not invite them for Boxing Day buffet lunch instead, Christmas is on tues next year, so if boxing day on wed some may have to work thurs which will limit their partying. That way you are seeming hospitable but with less work involved. Someone else may volunteer for Christmas day, or you will get a quiet one, well if 4 DC are every quiet.

If their homes really are too small maybe you could draw lots and split into two homes. If accomodation is a problem then try travellodges.

Oh and make it bring a dish, and not being Christmas day you might even get away with paper plates, you could even let them wash up their own serving dishes or take them home dirty. That also makes it an easier proposition to move to a smaller house.