Gift Dilemma - Received but haven't given

[SardineJam]

DP and I have a good friend who lives alone but has been seeing someone, with a daughter, for the past few months

DS1 absolutely adores him (DS2 is too young) and the adoration seems mutual. Said friend popped round today with 4 huge presents for DS1 and 2, will obviously have to wait til Christmas day to see what they are exactly but knowing him, no expense has been spared

Said friend text DP earlier this month asking for gift ideas, and we told him not to bother, as he is always doing us favours (great handyman) and also that we can't really reciprocate due to lack of funds this year as I am currently on maternity leave

When he dropped the presents round I said to him that he shouldnt have bothered getting anything and his response was that he wanted to buy the boys something as he doesnt have children - this doesnt stop me from feeling really guilty and embarrassed that he has bought presents for the boys and that we haven't bought him/girlfriend/girlfriend's daughter anything

What would would you do? What should we do?

Bless, I see your problem, but you already told this lovely friend your situation and it has not stopped him wanting to spoil your little ones. I think that is lovely, he knows your situation and will understand. Sometimes the best gift is friendship, he seems happy to have that. Please don't worry, you seem lovely, and you have a lovely friend who I expect has told his gf that you just had a little one and funds are a bit tight, which is probably why the xmas presents are extra big from him. Happy xmas

Thanks calamity! I know its not all about tit-for-tat ie. you give us something so we give you something, but I'm sure once I'm back at work there will be an occasion where we can 'give back' in one way or another

Should we maybe buy the girlfriend's daughter a little token something? It will seem like such an afterthought though, as we'll only see our friend again after Christmas

Can you give him a 'voucher' for an evening babysitting so him and his gf can go out together?

I think that he has deliberately left it until today because he doesn't want you to reciprocate and this way you don't have time to. I would just be glad to have such a nice friend and not feel guilty as I'm sure that is the last thing he would want.

Elf the girlfriend is divorced so when her little girl is at her dad's, friend and his girlfriend go out then, any other circumstance it would've been a great idea

Or could you make a cake or some fudge or something?

If not I wouldn't worry at all. He wanted to buy your dc something and he did.

I'm sure somewhere along the line there will be something you can do to reciprocate, but maybe just seeing your DS enjoying them will be enough for him? He does sound like a lovely person.

Savoy that's an idea, I might suggest they come round in the weekend for a meal, and bake them a cake to take home with them

A thank you card from the children would be lovely, especially if you could make the card with them.

*week I mean

Hell I most definitely get DS1 to do a card (he draws the cutest little stick men, and as friend is a graphic designer he is sure to appreciate it)

Does no one think we should get something for the little girl?

I was going to suggest what Savoycabbage said - bake a cake, cookies, whatever - it's not about the cost, it's about the time and effort you put into it.

If you can afford it, get something small for the little girl. Again, she's not likely to question the cost. And if you're not going to see them until after Christmas you might even pick up a bargain.

Yes, it would be a nice gesture to get something for the little girl, I think if it's thoughtful it doesn't matter if it's not a huge, expensive gift.