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Original poster

Present ideas for 90 year old grandparent with dementia?

24 replies

sweetheart · 29/11/2011 12:23

Does anyone have any lovely ideas for my dh's grandmother? She is in a nursing home and has dementia. She celebrated her 90th birthday this year.

She literally has everything she wants / needs and because of the dementia she very rarely even remembers who her family are.

I'm so stuck on what to get her this year but really don't want to leave her out or just buy something naff!

OP posts:
moajab · 29/11/2011 12:32

I have this problem with my grandmother. I usually buy her soaps because I know they will get used and I hope that even with dementia she can still enjoy the smell.

mummylin2495 · 29/11/2011 12:37

How about a pretty shawl to put round her shoulders

celebmum · 29/11/2011 14:29

A nice tin of luxury shortbread? it's a treat and perhaps something she can share with her visitors/friends.

schroeder · 29/11/2011 14:37

A photograph album with family photos

ChippyMinton · 29/11/2011 14:42

Similar suggestion to celebmum. An easy to open sweetie tin or jar, and several bags of sweets to keep it topped up for the next few weeks.

GooseyLoosey · 29/11/2011 14:43

A digital photo frame - pre stocked to scroll through 100s of family photos.

ChickensThinkYouCanGetStuffed · 29/11/2011 14:44

I get my grandmother sweets/biscuits and nice smellies.

ChippyMinton · 29/11/2011 14:45

Actually, can you get her something that might trigger some past memories?

I was listening to a radio programme the other day about a choir that sings in old people's homes. Occasionally the folk would tap their feet in recognition, and one day a gentleman went to his room and came back with a harmonica. The staff didn't even know he could play. I thought that was a heartwarming story.

leddeeburdee · 29/11/2011 14:49

I have bought DH's grandmother (who is the same age and also in a home with dementia) a Perspex bird feeder that you can stick on the outside of her window. Can't link from my phone but it was from amazon. Thought she might enjoy watching the birds from her window.

ByTheWay1 · 29/11/2011 14:51

the best gift you could give would be time..... go help brush her hair, do her nails, go through the family photos, just sit sharing music or memories. It does not matter if she does not remember who you are - make a new friendship with her every time you visit.

Dementia is sooooo horrid, robbing people of their memories of family - and then of time with them as their families melt away.

tiredemma · 29/11/2011 14:51

A memory box.

photos, small memorabilia, etc.

We did this for patients on the dementia unit where I worked and it was a massive success.

(picture Xmas eve with a little child sat on his great - grandmothers lap with jher able to point out what was in her box and its relevance to her. Magical.

Wormshuffler · 29/11/2011 14:53

Something nice and scented for a lady I would say.

I got my gramps a funny birthday card once, he used to laugh hysterically every time he read it, as each time was like the first Grin bless him Rest in peace Gramps.

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 29/11/2011 14:57

My MIL is in the early/mid stages of dementia which means she can no longer read with much enjoyment (used to be one of her greatest pleasures), watch films or dramas, nor play any game which requires short term memory. However she can still enjoy scrabble, other word games and crosswords as the progress of the game is always there to refer back to, and they rely more on long-term memory, (other than a gentle reminder that it is her turn!) Jigsaws are good too. And music.

Original poster
sweetheart · 29/11/2011 15:05

Wow some nice thoughts here - thanks everyone. My mum is a keen knitter so I might get her to make a bespoke shawl if she has time.

I like the bird feeder too as she used to love feeding the birds when she was in her own home. If you have time to come back and link that would be fab. Thanks

OP posts:
blackteaplease · 29/11/2011 15:10

My DH's Grandma just turned 90, she doesn't have dementia but some of the presents she got might be suitable in your instance - haven't had time to read the thread so sorry for the repeats.

We did a photoalbum with captions of the past 90 years, BIL got a bird table and feeders to go in the garden were GM can see it from the window.

verlainechasedrimbauds · 29/11/2011 15:14

My parents had a bird feeder like this on their kitchen window.

They had other more robust feeders in the garden too, but the blue tits used to come to this one at the window all the time and it was absolutely fascinating - they were sooo close.

I have always thought that this is what I would like on my window if I were to be stuck in one place for a long time.

pud1 · 29/11/2011 15:19

My oh grandma is the same. She is 94 in a nursing home with dementia. I buy a box of shortbread and some talc ( the old lady stuff in a tin )

CherrysOnTheNaughtyList · 29/11/2011 15:34

they have some nice fleecy bedjackets in sainsburys

GrimmaTheNome · 29/11/2011 15:35

I'm struggling with what to get for MIL. She's 93 and up to the start of the year was very independent. Several strokes later, in nursing home with very little sight or movement. She doesn't have dementia but can't carry on a conversation for long; we've asked her if she'd like talking books but she isn't interested (her hearing is excellent, I think she rather likes listening in on people when they think she's asleep). She still has loads of nice soaps and perfume from previous xmases. She can only eat mush - not sweeties as her other major issue is diabetes with very unstable sugar levels.

leddeeburdee · 29/11/2011 15:37

The one Verlaine linked to is the exact one I bought!

verlainechasedrimbauds · 29/11/2011 15:51

Grimma - my ds bought my my Mum some Classic FM CDs when she was very ill in hospital. Mum seemed to respond to them even though she wasn't able to communicate well towards the end. They were those compilation type CDs, so short (5 - 15 minutes) of familiar classics. I like to think she enjoyed listening to them because she did smile at some of the tracks! I enjoyed listening to them too - it was so much nicer than hearing the clatter and noise of the hospital, though she/we were fortunate that she was very well cared for in the local cottage hospital - so much nicer than than the busy city hospital.

LukeWarmMomma · 29/11/2011 16:03

Sweet I bought my late MIL who was in the late stages of dementia a teddy bear from Mothercare it was a brightly coloured one with crinkly ears, mirror on foot etc - the type they make for babies and she loved it - always held it and cuddled it. I know it's not exciting, but if she has severe dementia the basic fact is they don't know what's going on around them. Other things that were useful were nightdresses that buttoned entirely up the front ( easier than trying to get a nightdress over someone's head ) and toiletries like talc which smell nice, because even with the best intentions of the carehome (if that's where she is) if she is doubly incontinent she may sometimes whiff a little - I really don't mean this to sound horrible, it's just they way it gets !

GrimmaTheNome · 29/11/2011 16:08

Verlaine - ah, that's exactly what my mother would have liked (best present I got her was new digital radio, preset 'favourite' Classic FM). But MIL has never been into listening to music - and they always seem to have a TV or something else on anyway in the lounges.

Idontknowhowtohelpher · 29/11/2011 16:10

Does she get swollen ankles? These are pretty, and useful - www.amazon.co.uk/LADIES-Patterned-Elastic-SOCKS-Six-Pattern/dp/B0059MKA18/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1322582918&sr=8-3

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