I am embarrassed to admit this but please come tell me I'm not alone and/or give me a slap.

[leftmymistletoeatthedoor]

Ds turns 5 on 23/12 and dd will be 15m.

As you can imagine ds gets lots of presents all in the space of 2 days and its a bit manic!

However, I'm having my annual 'I haven't bought enough' panic. I have, I have bought enough. I'm not so worried about dd as she'll be non the wiser but ds was very ill last birthday and christmas and I want to make it up to him.

I have bought plenty - I'm half tempted to list it here but can't 'cause I'm embarrassed. I think part of my problem with ds is that he is getting his main presents from my db and dm as they wanted to buy them. Also, dd's presents are so much bigger even though they were cheaper.

Am so annoyed with myself, tell me other people feel like this.

I'm not buying anymore and kids have been shopping with me to buy presents for local kids / mumsnet appeal so they know they are lucky and xmas is about more than gettingf presents etc...

The difference in size of presents is a real dilemma when the are little isn't it?

Could you wrap some of your ds' presents in a larger box with polystyrene chips on Xmas day, so he doesn't feel let down or take dds large ones out of the box so the look smaller?

Also maybe give the smaller parcels on hs birthday.

its normal to feel you havent bought enough, i feel it every year and having two with a few years appart can be hard especially when ones birthday so close to christmas, they will be delighted with what you've bought dont worry!!!

I do this every year, the more expensive presents tend to be in smaller boxes - this year my DD and one DS are getting nintendo DSis and the boxes are tidgy. No4 son is getting that Armouron robot armour and the box is MASSIVE and I worry about it.
What usually happens though is that they're each so happy with what they're finding in their own gifts that they don't even look at the others until later, and by then we've squashed all the boxes and put them out anyway.

i agree teamedward if ds2 gets extra it will look like favouritism kids dont realise the value of money until they are alot older, my dd1 has got hardly anything size wise compared to dd2 but she is of an age that she knows how much (cos ive told her) how much stuff costs and has to appreciate that!

Totally normal - I actually feel like this throughout the year and was about to start my own thread on it. For me it stems from having crap xmases/birthdays as a child - not as in 'oh no I didn't get a pony' but more that my parents just weren't at all fussed about celebrating anything. And the fact that I was clothed in jumble sale shite and was told buying books was wasteful, while they got most of their stuff new and bought books just to sit on their huge bookcase

I get really anxious when I see something I want for them (I don't really buy myself anything) and have actually gone into my overdraft occasionally because of this feeling. It's not about status or the latest trends (don't even know what they are as we don't watch tv - until I googled it just now I thought Innotab was a medication :o) - its about wanting them to have what I feel are beneficial but fun toys - dd has way too many orchard games and ELC things just because I see them online. She never asks for anything, but I know that won't last so I need to reign it in!

For example for Xmas the DCs are getting some Gears Gears Gears sets which I got new for bargain prices. But I feel reeeally anxious as I know I can't afford the one I really want and I'll have to just wrap the others up knowing they don't make the perfect collection I imagined.

Ok I'm a nutter aren't I.

I agree Team Edward, having to spend the same on each child ends up being ridiculous.

As long as there is not a huge discrepancy and you are not doing it because of favouritism, it all comes out in the wash over the years.

If your Dh feels really bad about it, perhaps you could put the difference into their bank account, if they have one.

Am so glad I'm not alone.

I cant keep big presents until xmas unfortunately as we are going to family on xmas eve and there's no more room in the car.

PONTY: you've hit the nail on the head about wanting the perfect collection. I struggle massively with just buying one of a set, I hate it, that sounds so pathetic doesn't it? Believe me I have much bigger worries but these things nag away at me.

am not mentioning ds's 2nd birthday when he got NINETEEN bob the builder vehicles

Re the scooters thing - no don't buy extra presents for ds2 unless ds1 is about 19 and is getting some magic flying scooter or something?

Teamedward I'm with you on that one. Sometimes due to sales etc you can get something massively cheaper, when that's happened with my teenage DSCs we just shrug and say oh well that's money saved - we've got them 2nd hand laptops for Xmas (so excited to see their faces!) but one ended up more expensive than the other due to wifi widget we needed, but that's not her fault is it. They will be so chuffed with them they'll barely notice the other little gifts they've got, but it'd still feel wrong giving one more extras to open than the other, IYSWIM? This isn't an issue with our DCs yet as they are very young but when they're older they'll get the same number of presents I think.

(exception being, as we've done with DSDs, if one wants a really expensive gift then they'll know in advance that means they'll have less to open)

The 'size of gifts' thing is really noticeable once they hit a certain age - DD's gifts will be larger in size and look more impressive because she's 4 and is into toys. DS (10) 's gifts probably cost a bit more but look smaller because he has asked for games and books rather than toys with big boxes.

See ds's gift from santa is a ds game - cost 30 quid. For that amount dd has got a megablocks farm, a baby annabel doll and a bath toy.

PomBear - surely the triumphant entrance of Miguel is going to be far more exciting for DD than anything else?

I totally get the "collection" thing as well. Dh once had to virtually drag me away from the laptop when I was bidding on a playmobil item and calmly explain to me that they wouldn't have a deprived childhood if they didn't have a playmobil whatever.

My problem stems from my dfather being a workaholic and showing his love through gifts rather than time and interest, although he did try to give time and attention when he could.

I have to fight hard with myself to remind myself that my dcs have my time and attention and know that I love them.

The collection thing is a trait that the toy manufacturers know only too well. They know that within 5 mins of getting a toy the dcs will be looking at the little book that came with them looking at all the similar ones they can have to "complete the set".

I got some bargainous Space HappyLand stuff for DS, but we've decided to save it until his birthday (late summer). DH suggested we give him the rocket for Xmas and leave the other 2 bits til summer - I looked at him like he'd grown a tail or something. NO NO NO it has to be given at the same time. I could not possibly watch him play with one part of it for 8 flipping months knowing the other parts were in the cupboard. No way.

The size of gifts thing is a worry too but whoever said upthread that they barely notice themselves is right. Just make sure that they can both play straight away, so if one is getting a ds, make sure you have charged it up before you wrap it - I learned that from bitter experience when dd was given one by dils just before we headed off on a long car journey home and she couldn't use it as it wasn't charged yet. Poor kid and poor us!

I know carrots - that's another reason I need to stop this now. DD has finally got to the stage of pointing at toys in random catalogues that come in the mail. Not buying the aforementioned Gears set is the first step. I WILL be ok with it .

I have to throw away bookpeople catalogues and god help me if I look at the little orchard toys booklet that comes with a game.

Very good point abvout charging the ds in advance..

Time also to start talking to your ds about good things coming in small packages, diamonds being really small, really lovely expensive but really expensive yadda yadda yadda.... :o

pontymython you have to give all at the same time as come 8 months time he will proberably not be playing with it any more and it oiwuyld have been a waste!

Although giving a new bit later in the year can revive interest in the toy too. eg a set of Playmobil animals can revive interest in the whole Playmobil zoo. (no prizes for guessing which toy I obsess about).

Oh no they are all for his birthday, he'll be 3 and I really don't doubt that he will still enjoy them! Xmas he is getting joint presents with dd and a couple of little things like puzzles.

Give them the big one first.

Seriously.

I try to make sure the DC get the same amount of presents to open, but the amounts spent on them may be different. They don't know how much has been spent. Last year DC 1 and 2 got DSs and DC 3 got a scooter. Obviously the scooter was by far the bigger present, but the older two were so excited by their DSs! - they knew roughly how much they would cost so didn't think they would be getting them!