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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

what do you do about grown-up nieces and nephews?

22 replies

dreamingofsun · 22/11/2011 14:29

In my husband's family they give presents or money until the niece/nephew has children and then do it for the children. On my side they do it till the niece/nephew is 18 and then stop.

we don't see our nieces very often so tend to give them money as its logistically awkward and we're out of touch with what they like.

What do you do in your family?

OP posts:

ProperLush · 22/11/2011 14:33

I'm not in the situation but I'd imagine cold hard ££, or Amazon vouchers would be very welcome!

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 22/11/2011 14:35

voucher or a box of chocs - we only see some of them at Christmas so no idea what the want

kblu · 22/11/2011 14:37

I buy until they are 18 and then revert to buying for their parents.

Original poster

dreamingofsun · 22/11/2011 14:39

and do you just carry on giving things to them however old they get? Its seems a good way of reminding them we exist/attempting to keep in touch....but at the same time we don't even get a thankyou?

OP posts:

cjbartlett · 22/11/2011 14:40

oh if no thank you I'd stop at 18

exoticfruits · 22/11/2011 14:54

Stop everyone at 18yrs-except parents and own DCs.

CMOTdibbler · 22/11/2011 15:03

DH and I have a theory that if the over 18's buy ds (who is 5) a present, we get them one. We do see them reasonably often, and always on Boxing day.

If all of them were about the same age, we'd stop at 18

Barbeasty · 22/11/2011 16:36

I exchange a box of biscuits with my uncle- I make sure I don't get m&s since the year I got him the small version of the box he got me He has no children though, and I don't know if he does the same for my brothers.

My aunt & DH's aunts/ uncles get cards.

Our (9 so far) nieces and nephews are all 13 and under, so get presents. Not sure what we'll do as they get older. Will probably depend on how many there are and our future budget.

pramsgalore · 22/11/2011 17:00

we ask their mum what they would like, but it usually ends up being cash £30, which their mum will put together with other families cash to get a nice present off their list

girlywhirly · 22/11/2011 17:10

My mum used to give until her nieces and nephews were 21, but presents were quite small until the 21st gift. She would give wedding presents and new baby presents and then just give the great nieces and nephews gifts. Most lived a long way away except one niece who always bought for mum, dad and me so she and her DH got gifts.

If they don't bother to thank you in any way for their gifts it's time you stopped. Good manners cost nothing, and they could phone or email. I think kids today are really lazy and ungrateful, as a child I had to handwrite thank you notes to every single person who gave me a gift. Warn their parents that you won't be sending anything if you decide to stop (if they are still living at home)

Ragwort · 22/11/2011 17:13

We stop at 18. Only give token presents to my parents, not to any wider family.

squeaver · 22/11/2011 17:15

Toys up to 10/12

Top Shop/Itunes vouchers/book tokens - 12 - 18

Nada - 18 - 21

Big 21st birthday present.

Original poster

dreamingofsun · 22/11/2011 17:56

thanks for your replies. I think i will talk to my brother about it and see what he thinks....but tempted to call a halt to it at 18.

OP posts:

mumeeee · 22/11/2011 18:20

We in our family we buy until they are 21. Although I've been known to get them a very small token present after this. Mainly because we get together for a big family party and we exchange gifts there.

dementedma · 22/11/2011 20:17

itunes cards or Amazon vouchers always acceptable to teens.

BikeRunSki · 22/11/2011 20:19

We stop all presents at 18 too.

ginmakesitallok · 22/11/2011 20:20

A few years ago my DSIL suggested we stop at 18 - but that felt mean to the eldest, so she's 24 now and we still buy for them all (youngest is 16). I love my DNs to pieces - and they are great babysitters, so I'll keep buying for them. We're not spending as much this year though

DandyDan · 23/11/2011 07:08

We give until they're 21. Theoretically until then they could be in higher education and on a student loan and feeling the lack of money generally, and probably would still appreciate even a small gift from an auntie/uncle. It must be miserable to go off to uni and your first Christmas you know none of your extended family will buy anything for you.

After 21, we still continue to buy for the nephews/nieces' parents (ie. our brothers/sisters/in-law).

fivegomadindorset · 23/11/2011 07:09

18 and 21 for Godchildren.

Besom · 23/11/2011 07:16

We've been giving grown up niece money. But she's got her own now so will just get something for the baby. Probably would have stopped giving her anyway as is 21.

My own aunt still sometimes sends me presents, though. It probably depends on the relationship as well.

gramercy · 23/11/2011 13:15

Dh's nieces never acknowledge gifts. Honestly, how much effort is it to send a text?

When I enquired as to whether dn had received a present I'd sent, sil breezily replied that they see no need to thank someone for an unsolicited present.

girlywhirly · 23/11/2011 14:48

I agree with you gramercy. Looks like you'll be thinking twice about giving them gifts. Hardly surprising the nieces have no manners as SIL who should know better has none. Although perhaps this is SILS way of saying not to send anymore? Unbelievably rude.

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