How much?

[rattie77]

Just after some advice on how much to spend on DC really. I know there is no right or wrong amount as such, but feeling uncertain about what to do. I have 7 children (well 1 child, 6 adult children), 3 of whom have left home and are either married or living with partners. Three of the older children, 18,19,22 are at home (one at uni but home for xmas), all are working (p/t and studying in 2 cases).My youngest is 3 and all sorted, so issue is with how much to spend on older children, especially the ones who live at home. Funds are tight as I am a SAHM at the moment until little one goes to school, eldest son only just managed to get a job so we have supported him and helped others whilst at college at times. Anyway what is a suitable amount to spend on each of them?Last year we gave them money about £70 each but no stocking fillers and it was awful so impersonal, but they needed the cash. Nothing for older ones as we agreed between everyone we were too skint - and that felt bad too. So I want it to be better this year and have saved up some cash in an account, but not sure if I am being silly to worry. What do others spend on their older children?

Well my kids are only 4+1 but I'm 30. My parents and dh's parents give about £50 to us + a stocking each BUT tbh I wouldn't mind if they didn't, I really, honestly, wouldn't.

However much you have in the account split it 6 ways - although maybe give slightly more to the younger 3.

DS is 12 yo , DD is 9.6 yo.
Their main presents are a Sylvanian Family Hotel £55 and a Halo toy £30 - both half price.
DS has Skyrim for his birthday in December and I'm booking him a Young Driver Lesson, but thats in Jan/Feb.
I lost count of how much their small presents and stocking gifts are (probably best if I don't add it up )

I think teenagers (over 15 yo) shouldn't expect presents from grandparents or other relitives except parents. Nice if they get them, but shouldn't expect to.

Even if you give cash, it's easy and inexpensive to do a stocking for older DCs.
When my DS gets older I will probably give him money because he is so flippin difficult to buy for

Well my partner has a 21 year old son who works full time and earns a decent wage now. He will be getting £40 for Christmas.

We have 2 daughters together. Eldest is nearly 6 and the youngest will be 19 months old. They have about £300 between them including clothes etc.

Usually my mum and her partner give me and OH £50 between us. Sometimes she will buy me a little side gift like some PJ's or a couple of books.

As you have the little one sorted,I would divide the money for the eldest 6, giving a bit more to the youngest 2 of these. If you want to, give them a couple of small gifts each from that money so that they have something to open on the day, and give the rest as cash or vouchers.

I would give a cash amount and a small stocking with a few bits of hand picked pressies, fav choc/lippie etc. so you still get to give a wrapped gift.

we have 6 dc's, 4 in their 20's and 2 still at Primary, it is always hard knowing what to do as we want to be fair but when do you start to downsize their gifts? In the end we decided that it was when they went to Uni - mainly because they needed a helping hand while there and we couldn't do the emergency shops/bail outs and spend lavishly at christmas. Now we spend about £50 each on the big ones, but I am a canny shopper and they probably think I spend more .

Thanks for all your replies. I think I will give the ones still at home some cash and a small stocking each. With the ones who have left home and have their own homes, I am unsure whether or not to give a joint present between them and their partners/wife or not and also how much is reasonable?. They all have decent jobs/homes/cars etc and in one case children of their own. Just wish I was loaded so I could treat them all, it was so much easier when they were all little!.

Unless there is something you know they both want and it is within your budget, I'd suggest giving separate presents to the ones who have left home. It was always a niggle of mine that as soon as I was part of a couple, that couple received one gift, usually for the home from some relatives. It would have been nice to have something smaller for me as an individual, even just a nice shower gel.

My mum asks dp and I what we would like and I think she spends £75. We are boring though and always ask for something we need like a new duvet etc. My dad also spends £75 on us. I would't expect anything now we have our own dc though.