And it might have been his last Christmas for at least 10 years now. He's fine - a few issues which go with being mid-70s, and he's had a few scares along the way, but really he's fine (I appreciate he doesn't see it this way). We get on well - I really like him. He's a nice, kind, generous man - I think there may be some Health Anxiety thing going on (armchair diagnosis). But this leaves MIL doing the cooking, and she's had a tough year this year (was genuinely very unwell, lost her brother etc). I know MIL would jump at the chance to come to us. Sometimes SIL and her family go to them but this year they won't be there, so it could potentially be ILs on their own.
And because I'm a stubborn cow and 2 of my DCs aren't his grandchildren and I've sort of split the day with their Dad over the years, plus often my own family visit from Ireland, we've stayed put but invited them every single year. Now those older DC are grown up and for other reasons will spend most of the day with their father this year, and I have no excuse.
Except - the food's shit. They don't drink. They won't let me cook. The TV is always on and it's so big I might as well be at the Odeon. The younger DCs (the ones who are their GCs) get bored there after about an hour. I want Christmas in my own home but I haven't got a leg to stand on because that's exactly how FIL feels and why should I win and not him? DH doesn't seem to care either way - he's the eternal diplomat.
I sound like I hate them but I don't - I'm genuinely very fond of them and I do sort of feel I owe them. I just don't want to. I just need to bite the bullet and go, don't I?