Anyone else getting ready to grit their teeth ?

[Snowqueen38]

I am excited about christmas, looking forward to my DD opening their gifts.

We are spending Xmas and boxing day at DH brothers house with his new wife and their 2 children. Fine they are lovely. New wifes parents are joining us too - only met them twice but they are lovely too. Sadly Mil and Fil are joining us for xmas day AND boxing day too - they are not so lovely.

I am hoping the huge presence of other people will dilute thier bah humbug attitide to life. They are the type that are only ever happy when moaning or some catastrophe or drama is unfolding in their lives. They have been stating for the last 15 christmases that "this is very probably our last christmas".
They never get colds but get flu 4 or 5 times a year. If have a headache they have a brain tumor. They count the sprouts on my plate and comment on my waistline. Talk over anyone who is speaking about anything they dont want to talk about. They moan about whatever gift we give them, the gift wrap and even the sellotape. Last year my 8yo told them they were rude Oh that was a proud parent moment!!

FIL is actually the worse. He sits in his chair and remains silient except for when he tells the children to "calm down and be quiet" or "shh shh shh" or "shhh quiet now". You think the day has passed without drama but usually 4 to 6 weeks later, usually on a Sunday night he phones and tells us all how upset,disgusted or dissapointed he was at xyz that we did or didnt do or say.

This is my poor new SIL first Xmas playing host. I feel very sorry for her as she has absolutely no idea what she has let herself in for. Dont get me wrong - I will make the most of it(it is only 2 days) and offer SIL my moral support. I am going armed with several bottles of wine and a bottle of baileys to help me blot out the misery of their company.

Ooops sorry - that seems to have turned into a rant. Anyway, anyone else doing their family duty with gritted teeth this Xmas? Surely I am not the only one here not 100% enthused about the comapny on Xmas day.

Has anyone confronted them about their behaviour apart from your child? It seems to me people let them get away with it so as not to cause a scene.

I think DH and his brother should have words before Christmas day with them and tell them how things will be. Something along the lines of

"Every Christmas your behaviour spoils things for everyone else. This Christmas day is Sil's first as a host, and you will be charming and complimentary to her and her family. You will listen politely to others when they are speaking and not change the subject. You will not moan about your health. You will play with the children and not complain about their noise. You will refrain from remarks about other peoples plates or waistlines, and praise the meal. You will appreciate and thank people for your gifts graciously. And finally, you will not make us embarrassed and ashamed of you both in front of SIL's parents. If you cannot do that, don't come, because we aren't tolerating it any longer."

How do you reckon that would go down?

You sounds like a fab SIL, :) Have you tried laughing at every thing they say as if its hilarious? Might just get you through!

Also, have you considered introducing SIL to Mumsnet? I will look out for her PIL post in the New Year! :o

I know people like that, they have to make a drama out of everything, it is draining, i try to be overly happy about everything to counter thier behaviour...

'This is proably our last christmas...'

I say in a very sing song voice,
'don't be silly Mil you will be around for ages yet hahaha.'

I would warn your SIL that there is this possibility and agree some plan of action with your brother and her.
If she has no clue she may feel like she has failed and be really upset without realising they are always like this and it was nothing she did.