First 'proper' Christmas - sounds silly, but how should I do it?!

[pipkin35]

OK. Have an 18 month old girl and nearly 3 year old boy.

Now, this will sound ridiculous BUT, we've never had a Christmas at home, just the 4 of us.

All the years me and OH were together before kids (10 yrs), we went to his parents. When DS was 1, we were at his parents. Last year we went to my best friends for the day (down the road) with the kids. She's not around this year.

Neither of our parents will be around - OH's in London, mine in Torquay - both planning on coming to visit after Xmas.

I am fine with that and can't wait to just start our own traditions but have a couple of questions on how to do it all!

Do I do stockings yet? Is there 'much point'?
Do I spend all day cooking - or just M&S the lot?
DD is up and awake at least 2.5 hours before DS.
What are your own traditions - or what did you do with similar age kids etc...?

I adore Christmas. Have bought a fake tree and was planning on putting it up after the 20th (cos that's DS 3rd b-day) - was going to get him to help me decorate, or is that unwise do you think?

Ideas welcome!

Ooh, it's lovely reading about everyone's Christmas traditions - it's starting to get me in the mood!

My Mum's top tip for the stocking was to include a cereal bar, satsuma and carton of juice - to delay us nagging for breakfast! It doesn't deter my DD for long, but it does save a few precious minutes.

We have the stocking from Santa, then other presents are from who they are from. We felt it was important to recognise that sharing time together with family has become the central point of Christmas for us, and so not to recognise the effort and love that has gone into choosing gifts would be horrible. My BIL's girls used to be told that ALL their presents were from Santa, including the ones we all brought for them!

Also somewhat controversially, we decided to explain to DD that Santa is a story we tell, to remember a very kind man (St Nicholas) who gave children presents at Christmas. She doesn't mind this at all - it means she no longer freaks out when she sees a man dressed as Santa, and when it comes to the day she suspends her disbelief and goes along with all the theatricals anyway. It's been the right choice for us so far.

(Also agree not to go overboard with food - the one occasion I hosted, there were four adults and one 2 yr old, and a large-ish roast chicken was plenty, especially with the trimmings and a few prawns as a starter. No need for a massive turkey!)

Have a fab time!!

DD is four, btw

I love Christmases at home with just the four of us, and agree with everyone else - hang up stockings and make dinner easy. We have dinner instead of lunch, as the kids prefer hot food later on, and chicken rather than turkey if it's just the four of us.

You can make up your own traditions. We always get them to stick lists to santa up the chimney and hang their stockings by the fireplace. that way we don't have to creep into their bedrooms at night to fill them. They put out food for Santa and the reindeer and we take bites and nibbles from it.

Your 3 yr old will love having a stocking, and helping the baby open hers.

You could include a dvd to snuggle up to in the afternoon if he's over excited, or a football or mini scooter to play outside on, to let off steam.

Definitely let them 'help' with the tree, then even it out a bit once they're in bed.

My kids help make a chocolate log on Christmas Eve and decorate it with royal icing robins (well I think they're robins - the kids make them ) so they have something special to eat when we have the pudding lit up at table.

I hope you have a really lovely time together.

the children "help" decorate the tree, tho this consists of shaking the string of bells and unwrapping the cheap unbreakable tat decorations. they love it.

both dcs have stockings, usually with some sort of food to eat in it. we take turns tho dd3 did most of the unwrapping last year helping me/dh

we have colour coded paper so that there is not too much disappointment if they are not for her. 2- 3 year olds feel things so deeply and assume the world revolves around them and surely every present is for them.

NO WAY should you m and s it...why?

there's only four of you how hard can it be? Do the whole christmas dinner thing it's tradition and that's what christmas is about

it's a feast - do it properly...I do stockings the night before

kids get up and breakfasted then bring stockings to our bed and open them - then we all get dressed and have tea and mince pies make everything homely light fire etc start dinner preparations then all settle to gift opening.

NotanOtter - after witnessing many a christmas dinner meltdown by my mother, especially if you don't do the roast potatoes, roast parsnips, chipolatas, gravy a la Jamie Oliver that often.

Don't get me wrong a full roast is no worries once you have your timings but I ALWAYS M&S it - less hassle, calm mummy, great results.

I feel all Christmassy!

This is our 1st Christmas with DS (will be 9m) and DH and I are sooo excited! I can't wait to start all our own family traditions, loving the flour footprint idea!!

I do however have EVERYONE coming to us for Dinner, Grandparents both sides, aunts & uncles etc as DS is the 1st child in our family (my side) for 15yrs and everyone wants to get involved! eek! Plus we also have the most room and can easily seat 10 around our dinning table.

I have already bought DS a wooden advent truck with 24 little doors, a wooden santa stop here sign for the back garden, a personalised traditional stocking and santa gift sack and a few special tree decs which I hope to dig these out every year for him.. starting our own traditions..

just wishing for a little Christmas snow now...!!

notanotter & Why not if thats what you prefer & get stressed at the idea of catering a big feast?? - after all its Mums Xmas too :)

That said, we DO do it properly here, but I love to cook, don't get stressed by it & enjoy going to town - prepare in advance etc, but I will happily buy M&S or Waitrose mini veg, to cut down on the preparation :)

We cut down on the early start, by hanging DDs stocking, with fruit, drink, nuts & interesting pocket toys & a book etc on her bed - sprinkled with glitter of course :) - so far that keeps her in her room for an hour or so, whilst we catch up on sleep

Santa gifts are left spread & decorated with Glitter sequins balloons & streamers, & Santa always picks up a sack of gifts from Nana & Granda as he flies over their house, this has a big label on it & all other gifts, something small from us etc are under the tree, these will get opened on boxing day, when the inlaws come over, so it stretches out the excitement for her

DD helps decorate the tree & in recent years she makes the fairy top a new dress, something I always did as a kid :)

celebmum it is lovely, but FGS DON't Use flour - I did that 1 year & after DD had played in it & got it wet, trust me you don't want to have to clear it up

you can buy fake snow, usually in the Xmas shops that spring up, or good toy shops - you can get the chopped up plastic stuff or even better, now we get the test tube of stuff that you mix with water - it even stays cold :)

We prepare our Christmas dinner the night before. We cook and carve the turkey/meat and it's gently reheated the next day in the meat juices ready for dinner. And peel potatoes, prepare veg etc. Then all we need to do for dinner on Christmas day is the minimum. Sometimes it nice to spend half an hour in the kitchen for some peace and quiet!
Then we get party food nibbles for tea later that people can just pick at.

DC don't believe in FC anymore, even though poor little DS has just turned 6. But they still want us to pretend he's been and not put the presents under the tree until after they've gone to bed and they have asked for stockings.

The NORAD Santa tracker is good to do on Christmas Eve as well. I always used to be worried he'd arrive in the UK too early and DD would ask why he'd gone to Eastern Europe when we do the shoeboxes because he doesn't go there.

stockings are a must - my dds are 20 and 17 and nearly had a fit when I suggested they were too old for stockings this year - "but they're the best bit!!!"
Be felxible on your food expectations - one year when the girls were small they wanted mince and pasta for Christmas dinner. At first I was horrified, then thought why the hell not? So they had that, we had a "proper" dinner and everyone was happy!

We do stockings for everyone in the house that has slept over. These are unwrapped little toys, sweets, new cups etc that get put in and taken out again while we have breakfast in bed, which is usually tea/milk and English muffins. Adults have stockings too!

I have a big family and the present stash is embarrasing, so we have our stockings and breakfast in bed so DD ( she'll be 3.5 this year) will eat something before we hit the presents under the tree.

As someone else has said - stockings are from Santa and other presents are from the people who bought them, otherwise your child won't be able to thank them.

Other traditions for Christmas that we have:

It's never too early in the morning to eat chocolate Santas
We all get new P.J's on Christmas Eve, I don't know why we've just always done this.
No-one gets nagged about eating their greens (this is because I have a sprout addiction and if no-one else eats them then there's more for me)

Everyone chips in with either the food or the washing up. If you can fit three people in the kitchen do it and it takes the chore out of it. DD is pretty good at helping set the table and I really think the Christmas feast should be a joint effort from start to finish!

We sprinkle magic reindeer food in the garden just before bed on Christmas Eve (mix of oats and glitter) which looks great done in torch light and we leave a glass of whiskey and a mince pie for Santa by the fireplace.

I love Christmas!!!!

thell that's really interesting about santa. DS will be 2.3 this Christmas and we want to create a feeling of excitement and magic but don't want to pretend Santa is real.

I like the way you explain it to her. Have you had any problems re her telling other children about this?

Interested in anyone's experiences of not pretending about Santa. My feeling is there must be planty of children of families who don't celebrate christmas for cultural or religious reasons and so don't believe in Santa.

Also, we're going to put Christmas presents under the tree on Christmas eve so he still gets the excitment on christmas morning but without thinking Santa delivered them.

What other tips do people have for non-santa traditions for pre-schoolers?

DS1 was christened in December at about 12 weeks old and one of his presents was a Christmas stocking. At the time, I thought it was quite an odd present but it was one of the best!! It has been used every year since then and even at 13 I can't imagine he would be happy without his stocking!!

We have stockings on beds with little presents in (socks/Choc Santa/book/sweets/small gift), which the DCs open in our room. Then we get ready and have breakfast. Grandparents bring their presents over, which are opened and after that we go to church, which is lovely. The DCs take a present and they have a 'show and tell' session! When we get back we put the turkey on and settle down to open presents. Once they are opened we sort out lunch - it's really not that big a deal to cook for small numbers - and usually eat at about 2pm. The rest of the day is relaxed - we always watch Dr Who! And we have a snacky meal in the evening. We always meet up at PIL's with SILs to exchange presents on Boxing Day.

It's lovely to create your own traditions - our 3 DCs have always hung their own bauble on the tree (helped, when they were tiny) and we now buy a new ornament for each of them every year and they put their own stuff on the tree. When they have homes of their own, I will hand them the ornaments they have chosen over the years for their own tree! But we still use the cardboard ones they made when they were little.

We usually have a turkey crown as we all prefer the white meat anyway! And it cooks quicker. We usually buy big enough for some sandwiches for a couple of days after! And we have 5 vegetables because we all choose our favourite! And I prep the veg the night before if I can.

DoodleyAlley family was Roman Catholic so both Santa and Halloween were out - but Saint Nicholas was always a prescence.

Early on my mum said that father Christmas was a story but St Nic was a "real" person and the spirit of Christmas was to give rather than expect to receive.

BUT she said I shouldn't ruin it for others who beleived Father Christmas was real - people beleived all sorts of things.

TBH I felt a bit cheated that my mum was a realist, a bit of magic and make believe would have been a nice relief - but she wasn't built that way and I respect that.

DH was completly opposite - first christmas with them was like stepping into an M&S ad. Everyone so happy, literally a half room full of presents for extended family - no-one giving a monkeys that the sprouts were soggy.

DH hated the excess and his parents bankrupting themselves every year for one day.

Now we have our own kids its half and half - we go tat-tastic with decorations, M& S with food, light on presents and Santa will be visiting

Thanks so much for the ideas - reindeer food sounds ace

beleived believed

Timeforabiscuit thanks for that. I go to church and feel a bit weird about lying about Santa. Maybe I'm over analysing it but I'd feel a bit weird later on saying yes the father christmas bit was a lie but we do believe the nativity story.

But I love the celebration of Christmas and love giving presents and decorating the house to within an inch of its life.

I think maybe having the presents appear, but not saying they are from Santa, is probably going to exciting enough.

I just want it to feel magical for him without having to toe the Santa line!

Our boys are 20 and 18 now but still have to have Christmas traditions which begin with "proper" - Advent Calendar (ie not chocolate) but with separate box of chocs or one of those packs with separately wrapped numbered squares. OUr tree/decorations doesn't go up until the last weekend before Christmas. They used to get Christmas pyjamas on Christmas Eve but now it is Christmas boxers! Even if you are not church goers during the year it is really lovely to go to Midnight Mass or on Christmas MOrning so they do know what Christmas is really about. Christmas stockings a must but we "encouraged" them not to open before 6 a.m. They always open them in the bedroom of whoever wakes up first. Now we usually are waiting for them to wake up!! Proper presents come later and we open them all together. When they are little make sure you keep a list of who gave what so you/they can do their thank you letters. We don't leave the presents out under the tree, they are put out last thing when boys are in bed - this is harder now they are older as they are often later than us. Breakfast doesn't figure for the boys that day - just chocolate. I tend to have Nigella's Christmas muffins. Champagne or cava while making the lunch which is basically just a big Sunday roast - don't understand what all the fuss is about. Make the turkey stock the night before. Don't buy too much food - it is just another day - and just get a small turkey. I just buy cranberry/bread sauce/christmas pud now - used to make them but not sure it was worth the effort. We don't bother with starters. DH is the only one who likes Christmas pud so just buy small one for him, trifle for me! Lunch not usually till 3ish then we have turkey sandwiches in front of the tv that night. Love Christmas but however much I plan to be organised in advance I always end up wrapping presents on Christmas Eve. Have fun. Take photos!

Great reading all these. A cautionary tale here, though I wouldn't expect it to happen to many people: My partner's son came to live with us when he was 2.5 so he was just 3 when we had our first Christmas together. We arranged all the presents from everyone around the tree on Christmas eve ready for the big day. On Christmas day I came downstairs to find every single present had been opened, paper everywhere, complete chaos. He had come to the conclusion that they were all for him - fair enough with hindsight! I was 'slightly stressed' by this start to the day and had no idea who had given who what, but I don't think he'd had a Christmas before so it really wasn't his fault as he had no idea. It really hadn't occured to us to give him instructions on gift-opening protocol! Never happened again mind. Big thumbs up to stockings, nice food, relax and enjoy.....

I understand where your coming from.. We only really had our first Christmas at home last year and it's nice to start your own traditions.. Our DS was 3 last Christmas and we found the little extra things that made it great.. Definately the magic reindeer food oats and glitter.. We did boot prints (wellies with talc sprinkled round) from the fireplace to the Christmas Tree..
We started out with smoked salmon and scrambled eggs.. I'm switching to bacon butties this year as they are much more enjoyable tbh!!
Another nice idea picked up from MNsaviours is new pj's for christmas eve prezzie from santa so they know he is watching and have to sleep.. I'll deffo be doing small extra tree this year after last years tree decorating ended in 'timber' and a slightly squashed 3 year old..
Finally agree with all comments on food buy in as much as you can ready prepped I just do a roast dinner with a few extra's.. After going slightly mental last year after watching 'kirsty's homemade Christmas' when dh actually thought I'd lost the plot when I started emroidering napkins with initials and going out in the dead of night to nickcollect holly and ivy. I've realised that it doesn't really matter and the kids are much much happier if your happy and relaxed and want to spend time with them rather than stressed in the kitchen

This will be a lovely year for you. We were similar last year as our planned visitors culdn;t make it in the thick snow. We decided to do exactly what we wanted!!!

My highlites were DH coming home from work on Xmas eve (I was off) to a house that DD (aged 2 last year) had turned all the lights on, done some easy baking, set the table nice for the next day. Our famly tradition is that we have CHinese takaway on Xmas eve as itis mega hassle free.

Xmas morning we had toast in bed with our stockings that we all prepared for each other. I am 29 and still 'believe' in the magic of CHristmas eve, the nativity scene and Santa alike. So we added baby Jesus to the nativity set and put mince pie and tiffin out for Santa the night before.

The day was ACE. Soooooo chilled! We had chicken for dinner (put chicken, carrots, sausages and bacon on one tray, did mini potato jackets (not peeled but went lovely a crispy!) and sprouts, peas and few bits Id made the weeks before.

We chilled out in the lounge watching films while DD napped and we ate XMas pud.

And to be honest most of the day was spent relaxing and playing with our new toys :)

My 5 things I wouldn;t be without at Xmas are: rum tiffin, fairy lights, cheesy Xmas films, nice food and DD enjoying it all for the first time.

Also, I;m a music teacher and Xmas day means no more carols for another 9 months!

mumblecrumble rum tiffin? sounds like food from the gods - have you got a link?

this is such a helpful thread, feel tearful and keen to have a lovely christmas like the ones I have read about. my dcs will be 3.5 and 19 months so am going to start making a list v soon and checking this thread.

Ds remembers his and the baby's stocking from last year, he was SO EXCITED about choc money to eat right now and an orange, a litle book etc:)

we do duck as its smaller - must say its easy but i do lots of roasts- and then christmas pud. i do sprouts just as a culture thing, no one eats them. even if they have been delia'd:)

really want ths to be a magical time so thanks:)

Oooh, this thread is fab, just marking my place. We're moving house on the 10th of December because we're clearly barking and I think we may end up having Christmas just the four of us surrounded by boxes. Will be checking back here for tips later!