Lost my Christmas mojo. Please help.

[FoundWanting]

I love Christmas. Everything about it from shopping to wrapping, decorating to cooking. But this year we are trying to economise while still making it special for dcs.

I decided that I will only buy for children this year and that adults would receive hand-made gifts as a token of the love and affection in which they are held.

So, everyone is getting a hat, knitted with my own fair hands. For those of a more poncetastic bent, I am crocheting Christmas baubles (Xmas puddings, robins, snowmen and penguins). I will also make fudge nearer the time.

We usually hold a Xmas Eve party for my family (lots of people); have the day at home just the five of us with friends dropping in in the morning for champagne; and have DH's family here on Boxing Day. But, I just can't be arsed. No-one has offered to do it instead, and I feel that I have no options but to do the same this year because it has become the tradition.

Bought a couple of Xmas magazine to get into the spirit and flicked through going "Waste of money. Pretentious tat. Ridiculous." etc. etc. Every time I pick up my knitting, I get moaned at (do you have to do that now/I want to sit on your lap/can you get me X,Y,Z...) despite my explaining that I am saving money for their presents and the lovely treats they associate with the festive season.

It is all just feeling like a pointless waste of time and effort, that won't be appreciated by our considerably wealthier family and friends. I'm overwhelmed by the work I have given myself (7 hats made, 8 to go), and the organising, planning, cooking, cleaning and juggling involved in keeping everyone happy.

What do I do to get the goodwill to all men back in my life? Main-line mince pies while playing 'The Little Boy Who Santa Claus Forgot' on a continuous loop? Any ideas?

Foundwanting - I understand your sense of can't be arsed-ness. I have been suffering from that on and off over the last few weeks too.

Remember though, that this is work you have given yourself. I always plough myself into more than I can handle too and end up ratty and shattered. I am also guilty of throwing out the line : "I" am doing this for "all of you". DH will retort - no, you are doing it because you want to and because you think it is what we expect. Relax. Even Martha Stewart/Nigella/Delia etc have their own band of little helpers".

Make yourself a cup of tea/pour glass of wine. Start making lists for each aspect of the festive season (presents, food - baking and meals, decorating etc). Then prioritise each item on the lists. Doing this always gives me clarity and a sense of perspective.

Regarding other people not taking it upon themselves to host a party/drinks. Well, so be it. Perhaps nearer the time they will realise you are not hosting and offer to do it then? If it has become a tradition that you host perhaps others are worried about stepping on toes?

And have a very un-MN hug from me :)

tulpe Thank you for reading my rant and taking the time to reply. Help yourself to mice pies (I make them myself ).

I've decided I'm not doing Xmas Eve for my family. Why should it fall to the one with most kids and least money? Someone else can do it this year, so ner. It will be nice not to be cleaning the kitchen and stuffing the turkey at 2 in the morning.

NO! STOP!

Don't eat the mice pies. They are for the cat.

Whoops.

Present the announcement to family that you are not doing the Christmas eve party as "I have decided that I have been hogging it far too long and not given anyone else an opportunity to host, so it can be someone elses turn now" I think you need to let family know now rather than wait that this event won't be happening as usual. And if no-one else takes it on, well, no party for all of them.

Take a look at your job list and see what you could reasonably drop. OK you need to make the presents, but could you delegate any tasks to DH or older DC? Make double quantities of stews, bolognese etc and freeze the extra for days when you have no time to cook? I like tulpe's suggestion of lists so that you can spread your workload.

:o at Foundwanting and her mice pies

Lovely wording girlywhirly suggested for offering christmas eve up to others.

And yes, cleaning kitchen and stuffing turkey at 2am no fun. You will be tired and stressed next day with your DCs :(.

So, say loudly "sod it" and focus on you, DH and DCs :)

Regarding presents - I know money is tight but how about giving yourself a break on the knitting and having a mooch around places like TK Maxx? I found some really fab vintage looking photo frames for less than a fiver (and I was buying for relatives who have high expectations of gifts.....it was my own little rebellion as they will assume they are from Dibor or similar!!)

You need to give yourself a little treat at the completion of each hat.

You need the Christmas tunes on whilst you knit.

You need a shot of Amaretto with your mince pie.

You need to get that dreadfully tacky singing snowman out of the cupboard and press his tummy.

You need to get the decoartions out of the loft and remind yourself of all the lovely memories you have and will make for this Christmas.

HTH.

I am seeing my sister tomorrow and will let her know that I'm not hogging the Christmas Eve arrangements this year . Thanks, girlywhirly

I know what you are saying about getting cheap presents. I just thought the time and effort would make up for the lack of funds this year.

I have no singing snowman!