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Christmas

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Original poster

Worried about OH's children being here

22 replies

jellybabe83 · 14/10/2010 10:42

This will be the first xmas they're going to be here xmas eve and day. OH has only had them once since him and their Mum split up about 9 years ago.

I'm really looking forward to them coming, and my two boys (1 and 6) will love it too.

The only thing I'm worried about is the girl is 10 and the boy is 7. The girl doesn't believe in Father Christmas any more and she said something in front of my 6 year old the other week about it. He didn't notice though. I'm pretty sure the 7 year old doesn't think he's real either.

I still want my little boy to believe for a couple more years, and I'm really worried that they'll say something and ruin it all :(

I believed until I was about 8 (maybe even a little older! I think I had doubts, but didn't want to miss out!) and I don't want him to stop yet, especially as we have a younger son and another on the way too.

I'm not really sure what to do. Whenever we talk about xmas, I mention father xmas and my OHs kids roll their eyes... Maybe I should sit them down and explain that they need to keep quiet?! Lol

OP posts:

BudaisintheZONE · 14/10/2010 10:44

You need to talk to your OH and get him to talk to them. He can find out if the 7 year old still believes. And you could then ask them to help you keep the magic going.

My DS is 9 and I think he still believes. Reckon it will be the last year though.

Bonsoir · 14/10/2010 10:46

You need to get them to join in on the secret - to get them to participate in your side of the fun. Get them to help think of stocking fillers and generally treat them as grown-ups who are now in on the FC secret.

girlywhirly · 14/10/2010 11:07

What Bonsoir says. It could be a good way of involving them with the Christmas planning and make them feel part of the celebrations, rather than 'just visiting for Christmas'. And to learn a little consideration for their step siblings.

GiganGORE · 14/10/2010 11:10

Next time she is over, try and have some time just you and her and discuss how excited you are about christmas. about how lovely it will be to have them all together.

discuss all the things you are going to do for the younger ones to help them still believe in santa.

get her involved. it will help her feel more part of the family and if she is included she will feel very grown up and respoinsible. girls love that.

racmac · 14/10/2010 12:05

Well they are going to know pretty soon - cant believe they still believe at that age tbh!

I told my oldest ds last year that if he played along he would get an extra present from "santa" - he was very very good and got the little ones really excited so he got an extra present with name tag from Santa

good old fashioned bribery worked wonders

frazzled74 · 14/10/2010 23:12

cant believe a 1 and 6 year old still believe? ds1 was 10 when he stopped believing and i am hoping for similar for my 6 and 4 yr olds.

piscesmoon · 14/10/2010 23:18

Make it fun-get the older ones on board with the pretence.

FrozenChocolate · 14/10/2010 23:23

They split up 9 years ago and they have a 7 year old? Did I read that right?

seeker · 14/10/2010 23:27

You've got a 10 year old and a 7 year old who've only stayed with you once before for Christmas and the only thing you're worried about wi whether they tell your children about Father Christmas??????

reddaisy · 14/10/2010 23:33

Seeker, leave the OP alone. Her worry is very real. She wasn't asking for advice on arrangements for her family's Christmas, she asked about how to make sure the magic of Christmas is kept alive for her children. There is nothing wrong with that.

seeker · 15/10/2010 07:08

I always thing it's sad that people think that the magic of Christmas ends with the end of Father Christmas!

BudaisintheZONE · 15/10/2010 08:44

I don't think the magic of Christmas ends when they don't believe in FC anymore but the magic of them believing ends. It makes it different. My DS is 9 and I think he still believes. He has asked a few times and I know some of his friends don't believe but i hope he still does this year.

piscesmoon · 15/10/2010 09:46

I get really surprised that they should still believe in the upper juniors. I found that mine knew for a while without really wanting to know-e.g. all sorts of technical questions. When DS was 8 and asked me outright I told him the truth-he put in such a way that he wanted to know. If an 8 yrs old says 'is father Christmas you?' I don't think that at that point you can say that he is real.Earlier than that he put them in such a way that he didn't really want to know.

BudaisintheZONE · 15/10/2010 10:00

DS has asked and I replied "do you think we would buy you all those presents?" and he agreed we wouldn't!

GoreRenewed · 15/10/2010 10:02

Get the older girl to help you fill the stockings and join in with the secrecy! It will make her feel grown up and included. And less likely to spill the beans.

seeker · 15/10/2010 19:54

10 is too young to fill stockings! Even if she doesn't believe in Father Christmas she should still get a surptise stocking!

GoreRenewed · 17/10/2010 16:58

Oh DH and I fill all the DC stockings but we still get one ourselves!

phipps · 17/10/2010 17:01

My eldest is nine and he still believes. Kids grow up too quick these days and it is nice to have a bit of fun in the world. They believe in the tooth fairy too .

Dracschick · 17/10/2010 17:02

I think that Father Christmas can be alive in your house - I agree with everyone who says let the older one help you with the 'magic' and perhaps the younger one will believe too - make Christmas about the time not just the day ...perhaps you can do some nice things with the children on their own to make some Christmas traditions of their own with you - is it possible to have the daughters hair done as a treat or have sparkly nail polish or a trip out xmas shopping later at night?.

shongololo · 17/10/2010 17:05

In our house, anyone who doesn't believe in Santa , doesn't get a stocking.

Id let the oldest girl know that you expect her to keep the Santa Secret for the younger ones, and help organize the mince pie/carrot routine. Maybe reward her with a later bedtime on Xmas eve.

seeker · 17/10/2010 22:24

Presumably everyone believes in Santa in your house then- even the adults?

CheeseandGherkins · 17/10/2010 22:33

I agree with what seeker has said, I would be more concerned about making sure they felt comfortable staying for Christmas and less about "ruining" Christmas for your children. Fwiw I love Christmas and it's always magical for me and I make it as lovely as possible for everyone. What makes it magical and special for us is family. My dd is 8 and a half and she still believes too, nothing wrong with that at all, ds1 (almost 7) and ds1 (3) still believe too.

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