Catholic Mass after divorce

[Schnauzerwoz]

I’m a divorced Catholic. My first marriage was abusive, and I was denied Children (which I’m now eternally grateful for as we’d be linked forever). I’m now very happily married with children. However I am still troubled that I’m not allowed to receive the Eucharist in a chaotic church as a remarried woman. I do not want to go down the annulment route as it would mean my ex being contacted as this would give him an element of control over my life again.
Part of me wants to just receive communion as I know in my heart my first marriage was invalid but I’m so sad, and angry, that it’s not recognised by the Catholic Church. My faith has been an absolute in my life and I miss attending mass.
has anyone else faced this?

Would you consider going to a different church, like maybe an Anglican church?

I do. We’ve had our children christened in the Anglican Church. But I do feel the pull to return to the church that raised me

You are not barred from attending Mass, just Holy Communion. You could make a Spiritual Communion instead,

I read this and it seems that there are some cases you may be able to take the Sacraments if you are convinced in your conscience that you are fine to do so. Perhaps speak to priest if you feel this way and see what they say Also, read the document yourself may be to see if you see it the way I have. Good advice has been given already.
...
In recent years, in various regions, different pastoral solutions in this area have been suggested according to which, to be sure, a general admission of divorced and remarried to Eucharistic communion would not be possible, but the divorced and remarried members of the faithful could approach Holy Communion in specific cases when they consider themselves authorised according to a judgement of conscience to do so.

This would be the case, for example, when they had been abandoned completely unjustly, although they sincerely tried to save the previous marriage, or when they are convinced of the nullity of their previous marriage, although unable to demonstrate it in the external forum or when they have gone through a long period of reflexion and penance, or also when for morally valid reasons they cannot satisfy the obligation to separate.

In some places, it has also been proposed that in order objectively to examine their actual situation, the divorced and remarried would have to consult a prudent and expert priest. This priest, however, would have to respect their eventual decision to approach Holy Communion, without this implying an official authorisation.

In these and similar cases it would be a matter of a tolerant and benevolent pastoral solution in order to do justice to the different situations of the divorced and remarried.
www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html

Well done finding that Vatican document, Justmerach, and thank you.