Struggling with self-doubt as a born again Christian

[Need2DoBetter]

I’m new to Christianity, and at times I feel so overwhelmingly connected to God, buts it’s rare. Usually I just constantly doubt myself. I’m always wondering if I’m doing the right thing or if I am sinning.

For example (sorry if tmi) it’s my time of the month and all I want to do is be lazy, watch tv, and eat shit food (is swearing a sin??)

I always feel like I’m doing the wrong thing. But I don’t want to completely change who I am. Can anyone else relate to what I’m probably quite badly trying to explain? How do I stop doubting myself?

Firstly, welcome to the family ☺️
Christianity is a journey so don't worry about getting things wrong or not being christian enough, we all feel like that at times. There will be times where you feel really close to God and times when you can't really feel him and that is totally normal. Over time God will teach you different things and you will change as you grow but you will still always be you. So for example, when I first became a Christian I had a really firey temper. That was something which changed almost overnight but I am still very passionate about things but I don't lose my temper any more. It's like that anger is just gone.

Swearing is not brilliant but mostly because it could upset other people but tbh I swear at times. It's not about being perfect, but about accepting that we aren't and trying to improve slowly and step by step.

@Geneticsbunny thank you for your reply, that’s so helpful. I’m also quite fiery which is something else I’m struggling with. How did that just change for you?

I would say after reading this. I think that it is important to remember the first two commandments that Jesus said were important which was love of God first and second is to respect others as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40).

Jesus said that he gave us a light yoke to carry and took burden away from our lives (Matthew 11:28-30).

When you are early on journey you may grief yourself like repent for the things you forget. It sounds though that your conscience is quite high to. The Bible supports praying to try and remove this faulty conscience.
(Galatians 5:20)

Have you been baptised to with the Holy Spirit? Jesus said he would believers a comforter which was his promise which is true (John 14:16, 14:26, 16:7).

Also, in prayer pray from the heart and say your thought in a spiritual way. It is good to get them of your heart like David did in days of old.
Also, I would perhaps pray to Holy Spirit as these prayers to are soothing and can help you spiritually if you need it.

https://companionscross.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Prayers-to-the-Holy-Spirit.pdf

An act of contrition is good for the heart to let you walk away from past hearts.
https://www.vaticannews.va/en/prayers/act-of-contrition.html

Yes, I have been through this, not feeling good enough especially having conditions to in my life that I have had since childhood. Society paints a picture of what is perfection and it is wrong.

Only Christ alone is perfect as the Bible tells us and we are not judge others.
We can only do our best. Try and attend a church once even if you can manage it to receive the Sacraments it may help you to with your journey of feeling that you belong and that you are good enough. The Sacraments are for the forgiveness of sins which Christ said we should do this in his memory.
Good luck

I mentioned about the first two commandments as it seems things feel a bit of a burden with you about measuring up and it shouldn’t be difficult.
I meant about grieving things you regret you may feel at the beginning of a walk with your faith.
The Act of Contrition can help you to walk away I meant from past hurts.

@Justmerach thank you for your reply! No I haven’t been baptised and is something I really want to do but I’m not sure if I’m ready yet. I also found a church that I love but I get nervous about going 😕 there’s a real community feel there which I love but also makes me feel like a bit of an outsider (my fault not there’s)

Need2DoBetter, you need to do things when you feel ready for it. I once got healing for a nervous condition from taking the Eucharist and drinking the blood for forgiveness of sins. It is blessed in the church that I go to. I was thinkig if you took it at least once it could help you to feel better in yourself as they know what you need.
I said to myself today that the Holy Spirit has the qualities and more of Mary Poppins. They can speak to your spirit and comfort you in difficult times. They can do so much more as lead and they meant to help the believer in the journey strenghten their faith and get them to the end of their journey. Everything they do is good when you really need it and they are not intrusive. Good luck

Mary Poppins?

A bit like but not the same. Like in the film she comes in seen with the umbrella to sort out problems with good intentions.

The Holy Spirit to will come and help you with your problems unseen though with good intentions. They can do so much tmore hough and of course the Holy Spirit is a spirit and not in a physical body.

There is a lot to unpick in your post.

You asked about swearing and you said you do not want to change who you are. The thing about being Born Again in Spirit and in Truth, means we do actually change. We change because we have a relationship with Jesus and we want to honour Him in the way we live.

We were one thing but as we have been ‘reborn’ we are something new. God will convict us in our spirit of things he does not like, including swearing: https://www.gotquestions.org/cussing-swearing.html.

If you are feeling off it, there is nothing wrong with resting in front of the telly - but if you are feeling guilty, you could maybe think about changing your viewing habits and watch worship channels, for example?

if you doubt yourself, then go to the Lord in prayer, and also go back to His Word, the Bible. A simple prayer is to ask Him to search your heart and mind and reveal to you the things that you need to work on. You will feel a conviction in your spirit. The bottom line though, is we have a choice to not act on any ‘conviction’ and to simply carry on as we are/were. All good wishes in Christ.

I just found that as I spent more time with God and was filled with the holy spirit that the anger was switched out for a sense of gods love for other people.

Same 🙏

I think you have had some very good replies.

I want to answer as someone that remembers the exact feeling that you are talking about. Not feeling adequate enough - and I don’t know if I can admit this, but feeling like everyone around me were saints, and that everyone at church was perfect and that I was a sinner (again this was in my mind and I had to stop thinking like this).

It was all made worse because I became a Christian as a single mum and I honestly felt like I was a walking vision of shame every Sunday:

OK - a little extreme - but if I can do it and get through to the other side, and raise a now, teen, daughter that voluntarily reads her own devo, loves RE at school and sits down with me to have actual debates about faith and life (let me add she is human too and has her moments) - then I must be doing alright. Only with God. But even though I’m a decade in, I am a human and I do and feel human things - but I lean in on God. That looks like praying even when I feel like God cannot hear me. That looks like blasting worship in my living room and dancing. Sometimes it’s more quiet and it looks like journaling or asking the internet for a verse that speaks to my situation. Either way, it’s the constant seeking of God. Like a PP says you will change gradually - not through your own strength though.

So I want to remind you that it is a journey. We are human. The Bible is absolutely full of Gods people that have fallen and come short, but through walking with God in everything (including those lazy days when you feel less then) they have built a relationship with God and it is sometimes a slow and gradual change.

Read the Bible. Know the word. Lean in on your Christian community and speak to God daily. Everyday isn’t a Moses and the Burning Bush moment. Sometimes we encounter God like the woman by the well x

I know you will be a blessing x

I don't think there's anything wrong in lazing in front of the tv and eating crappy food. I think the issue might be if we did it ALL the time - but then it would be a problem in other areas of our lives as well. After a busy day at work sometimes that's all I'm good for; watching nonsense on the tv because I'm so tired!
God gave us different ways to rest and that can be one of them.
I do think that sometimes what we watch can be an issue (and I'm not saying it is for you, just talking generally). A bit like the food we eat, what we listen to, watch and read can all affect us. I don't watch action / violent stuff and won't watch any horror things. I know it's not good for me personally, though others can cope with it. I also hate vacuous stuff like Love Island and so on, but that's all personal taste!
I don't think swearing is a sin, but again, if you were doing it ALL the time, it might be an issue. I've had a crappy time this past year, and have sworn in front of several Christian friends (and the vicar!) and it's been fine. Sometimes an expletive expresses things in ways other words can't.

It's easier said than done, but try not to constantly wonder if you're doing the right thing or are sinning.... that sounds a bit to me like those thoughts are coming from some sort of fear or guilt, perhaps of getting it 'wrong'... and I wonder what you think might happen if you don the wrong thing or are sinning? (and do correct me if I've got the wrong end of the stick here).
I don't believe God wants us to live in fear or guilt. God came to take away all of that. Our Christian walk shouldn't feel like we're on eggshells all the time, wondering if we've just put a foot wrong. God's love is freeing and grounding; we walk in the knowledge that whatever we do, or are, God loves us. No strings attached. The knowledge of that love is what then motivates us to want to become more like Christ in our daily lives. It should never be (I don't think) about 'if I don't do this 'right' God will punish me',.... it's about knowing (in our heads and hearts) that God loves us, utterly and completely, and allowing that love to change us in a way that's gentle and lasting. It doesn't mean a complete personality change (!); we're still ourselves, with all our quirks and foibles and likes and dislikes, but God is the fuel in the tank (to use a car metaphor!).
I like the verse 'Where your treasure is, there your heart is also', as I think that's about priorities and orientation. When my desire is for God, in some ways then my day to day being falls more into Gods ways of being. It's a bit like steering a ship - you set the compass point to a certain direction and then the ship follows. And it ties in to what I was sayign at the top of the post about things we watch or listen to. You see it with people being addicited to stuff online - it affects all aspects of their lives. What we focus on and give our energies to affect us.
If your desire is for God, then ask God to help you live that way. Baby steps!
Have a read of the gospels as well to get a sense of how Jesus lived and treated others; that's a good starting point.

Thank you for all the replies, they’re very helpful