Do you have a youth group? What do you do and how easy is it to run?

[elliejjtiny]

We currently have a very dated Sunday school where we sing deep and wide/whose the king of the jungle etc. It has barely changed since about 1985. But if you suggest any change, the people who run it say they won't do it any other way but they are happy to retire and let someone else run it. Nobody else is willing to run it. I would, but i have an autistic child who needs supervision as well so i couldn't run a sunday school as well. We have 1 9 year old attending and the rest are secondary school age. We have quite a few children who attend the outreach events that we do but they are mainly secondary school age as well.

I am concerned that everyone is getting older and there are no new/younger people coming in. When i started coming to this church there were a mix of ages but now the previously active pensioners have either died or are in their 90's, the adults with grown up children are pensioners and the newlyweds are now parents of older children. There are now no adults under the age of 40. How easy would it be to run a youth group and does anyone have any ideas on how to adapt children's outreach events to appeal to the older children who are now coming.

I used to help out with a youth club in my previous church when i was a lot younger. It was run by trained youth leaders from youth for Christ with other people helping and it was still incredibly hard. We used to have to spend ages cleaning up afterwards, chewing gum stuck in all sorts of places etc, and the teenagers who thought the youth club was beneath them used to stand outside, shout, and throw eggs and flour at the walls/windows of the church. Tbh I'm nervous about it being like that if i tried to do anything for the local teenagers. I am also trained in child development etc but only up to age 8 so when it comes to teenagers i am clueless apart from having 3 of my own.

You need to adapt to what the children want/need.

Problem is, when I was little there was nothing to do on Sunday morning. No shopping, no sports teams etc.

Now if you have a boy who wants to play football (round here) you have to commit to Sunday matches - and many other sports too. Dh wanted to play hockey when we first moved here, and found the only training games available were all Sunday morning for example.
So church has a lot more rivals for their attention now.

There also wasn't that much to do around, so a youth group was the only place to met. My village only had brownies, guides and cubs and possibly scouts as anything for children to do other than hang around outside. Parents are much more involved and want to drop them off - which means you get the parents prejudices involved too.

Most successful one I've come across simply is a drop in once a week for the kids walking back from school. They have things out to do like a traditional youth group, and refreshments (varying from hot chocolate in the winter to ice lollies in the summer). Then there's a crowd of volunteers who listen, play games and are just there for them. They get 100-150 secondary school age children in over the hour.
They're pretty respectful of the building. I think my favourite comment was from a new lad being brought in by his friend.
New lad: Is this really a church? Are we really allowed in?
Friend: Yeah! It's a church, but it's cool!

For a lot of it, it's entirely about building relationships. For a lot of those coming, it's the only contact with a church they get. They don't get interested in any more. But maybe in the future, things get difficult and they remember that they were welcome in a church and come back and seek more.
Yes, some do decide they want to know more and start going to the more Bible based ones, but the majority don't, and that doesn't matter.

I'd say for older ones:

1. Food: It's not just a great bribery, but it gives them an excuse when they're a bit embarrassed talking to their friends. "I only go because they have pizza" probably isn't true, but it helps them feel comfortable chatting and inviting friends.
2. Relationships: You need consistent people who are interested in the young people as themselves, not as in potential converts
3. Fun: What do they want to do?
4. Kindness: If it's a safe place for them, they want to know it's always safe. The time one of them comes in at the wrong time and they get shouted at by the flower arranging team who think they're coming in to pinch the silver will not just stop them coming back, but also their friends.
5. Listen to them and remember their individuals: Their opinions are theirs, and they probably have a better idea than you do what their generation would like. Dd1 was once told by a youth leader that she was wrong when she said her and her friends didn't like doing something. She asked "how can I be wrong - I am youth?" person didn't back down because they only had one idea what "youth likes".
6. Don't pressurise them: Encourage yes, but don't make them feel if they only come once a month that that isn't good enough.
7. Adapt: adapt round who you have and the situation. Lots walking back on their own? Then you may want it to be earlier in the winter, for example.
8. Involve them: If they want to be involved. So if one of them wants to join the reading rota then tell Bill who organises it that they will be on it despite nothing changing (except for those who died from old age) for 40 years. Involve them in the music group. Ask them to help with younger ones, the coffee, the set up. Give them a reason that they feel wanted.

Our youth group is mainly aimed at the church kids ( many of whom don't engage that regularly with bible class etc on a Sunday morning) but there's pretty much someone every time who brings a friend. They do it twice a month, once at the church hall, once at a variety of people's houses. They do games in the park, bit of badminton etc, team games and when at people's houses a bit of taskmaster type stuff or quizzes etc. Then food, usually frozen pizza etc. Five minute talk at the end on a theme eg this year been I am... Seems to work well to encourage the kids.

Thank you. I remember the days when Sunday school was the only activity around for children on a Sunday. And then when it was Sunday school and football so the sunday school was mostly girls during half of the year and the boys coming back at the end of the football season.

We had an outreach event last week and the numbers were really low which was really discouraging. We had a meeting afterwards where i finally felt i was being listened to so i think we have a way forward. I love the idea of a safe space for teenagers and also for parents of older children/teenagers to come and chat as well if they want to. I used to love going to toddler groups and having a chat with other parents but my dc are older now and sometimes i get to talk to other parents and find that other people's teenagers also manage to use up half the knives in the drawer making one sandwich but its rare as we are all dashing here, there and everywhere.

We had an outreach event last week and the numbers were really low which was really discouraging.

Don't be discouraged. Events take time to be established and grow.

I remember one from years back where the first session they got one person. It took 6 months before they got above 4 people... 10 years later they had to do a second session because the waiting list got ridiculously long.

The popular youth groups round our way:

• offer childcare/safe spaces during school holidays
• offer church buildings as places where young people can congregate safely in the evening, purely from a social perspective
• do not focus on converting young people, discussing Jesus with them or introducing the bible/Christian teaching, instead simply engage with them, find out what makes them tick
• focus on music aspects - offer a fun youth choir, or rock band
• involve food (pizzas, hot chocolate, campfires with s'mores)