Thinking of Changing Church

[Evenstar]

I moved house in 2023 (a long way from where I was living previously), I started attending my current church soon after and have been very actively volunteering with young families and generally.

I was a little unhappy with some of the views expressed on homosexuality by the youth worker and some members of the congregation when I first got there, but they weren’t expressed again. This is very difficult for me as one of our sons is gay and although I am not liberal in these matters generally I love him dearly and very much believe we should not condemn any group.

Today I have discovered that our parish is Complementarian and would never have a woman vicar. When I expressed that it was a matter for people to decide personally I was shut down and told it was not as there were no women disciples and it was biblically incorrect. I am very uncomfortable with this as two previous parishes I have worshipped in had women priests and I have two friends who are ordained.

There have been some other incidents in the time that I have been there that are now adding up to me feeling that it isn’t the right place for me. I am not sure how to find somewhere that has a more broad minded modern approach as I don’t want to give up my voluntary work and move to another church only to find it’s the same.

I am going to pray about it of course, but any advice would be welcome.

@Evenstar ... it isn’t the right place for me ... find somewhere that has a more broad minded modern approach ...

Talk of parishes and vicars leads me to presume that you are currently CofE? It sounds like you need to find an expression of church that is more aligned to your own world view? I guess the only way you can do that is by doing some research of churches in your local area or further afield if you are prepared to travel.

Prayerfully read the Bible and see what God says about these things.
When one decides to live in sin whether in an affair, stealing etc, do we identify it as wrong or is that condemning them, the sin or the lifestyle?
As Christians do we follow Jesus as long as it's comfortable but if it's uncomfortable then we compromise? May The Lord lead us in His light.

You are not compelled to stay in the same place OP. Why not try out a couple of others and see if it feels like it 'fits' more. You can always go back to your old one if you want. See it as a bit of church tourism. Many people will worship at different places over the course of life and that's fine.

Church websites can help. If there's a woman vicar or curate you know they accept the ordination of women. If they use the words 'inclusive' or 'affirming' you know they accept gay sexual relationships.

I would also visit a church, have a word with the church leader after the service and ask them what the church's view was on women pastors and gay relationships.

I don't think your current church is condemning LGBTQ people as a group because they think gay sex is wrong. It's having gay sex that they consider wrong, not being gay.

They are following the Bible on this. When Jesus said that sexual immorality defiles a person (Mark 7:20-23), the word he used that is translated 'sexual immorality' (porneia) meant to that audience any sex outside straight marriage. Jesus obviously meant to convey this meaning. He didn't say anything to change it.And in Matthew 19:4-5 he quotes Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24 to make the point that God's blueprint for marriage is one man and one woman being united and becoming one flesh.

The Living Out website gives the point of view of openly gay or bisexual Christians who live celibate lives because of what the Bible says. They find love and acceptance in their churches, as they should.
https://www.livingout.org/

Unfortunately church websites don’t really help as the conservative churches don’t say that they don’t accept women in ministry or gay relationships. if this is a core part of their beliefs then make it obvious rather than hide it.

As a very broad rule of thumb praise bands tend to be in evangelical churches which are often, but not always conservative. My churches are rural with worship led by the organ and we are inclusive as we are led by a divorced woman and mostly gay musicians and we try our best to be accessible. We are not part of inclusive church yet. If you go to the Catholic end of the C of E the priests are probably gay and living in civil partnerships.

Try a few churches and see what the welcome is like.

You could try a Methodist or URC church much more liberal the Methodist church has had women ministers for years.

If the church website says they're affiliated with the New Wine network, or the Evangelical Alliance, or the Evangelical Fellowship, they most likely won't be friendly towards gay people and some won't be friendly to the ordination of women. Have a look at their 'what we believe' or 'our beliefs / values' bit and you might be able to read between the lines and work out where they're coming from. 'Bible believing' is also another clue they might not be all that liberal.
(What they mean is OUR way of interpreting the bible, and others are wrong).

Thank you for the further responses, I am still hanging on at the moment and with the appointment of the new Archbishop today I am hopeful it might encourage people who don’t agree with female priests to go elsewhere.

Interestingly @Catinabeanbag our church joined the Evangelical Alliance last year, but when I looked at their website it didn’t seem too clear to me what kind of organisation it was. I think that churches not being up front about their beliefs is a real problem.

Hmmm, from this (link below) the EA actually does seem to be up front about their beliefs:

https://www.eauk.org/about-us/how-we-work/basis-of-faith

I did read that, but it wasn’t clear to me what their views would be on women priests, probably as I wasn’t aware what my parish’s view was on it.

Looking at their membership, they are not against women priests. I looked up the names of some churches I know who have woman leaders and their (the churches') names appear.

https://www.eauk.org/churches