Looking for advice please

[Mumoftwo29]

Hi all this is my very first post so please be gentle!
For the last year my daughter aged 15 has been reading the Bible and looking into becoming a Christian. Our family is not religious at all, I was brought up as a Catholic bit have not practiced for over 30 years.
Her friend's go to a church which is Pentecostal so she wanted to go there. For the last two weeks I've taken her and stayed with her because I wanted to check it out. It's very different from the church I was used to (which isn't a bad thing) and feels very 'in your face' I want to support my daughter and respect her beliefs but how do I know this church is a 'good one' or not. I'm aware the pentecostal church is very different from what I'm used to, she doesn't have anything to compare it to 🤷‍♀️ and thinks because she feels welcome and comfortable and they read from the Bible that it's where she needs to be.
Thank you for your advice!

It is not easy to find the "right" church even as an adult. In my experience most pentecostal churches are lively and friendly and welcoming. The fact that her friends go there is good as she will be with them and enjoy the worship with them.

Hello! Yes a Pentecostal church will be very different from a Catholic church, that's for sure, which isn't necessarily a good or bad thing, just different.

Does the Church have an online website? Could be useful for you to browse it and see what their statement of faith says (if they have one) and other info.

Perhaps continue attending with your daughter for awhile longer to get a proper feel for it. What are the worship songs? What are the sermons like?

Hi there both thank you for replying.
Yes it's totally different and not a bad thing...... Just very different.
It's a very flamboyant place with big music productions etc.
They do have a website and I do like to look into things a bit deeper and this particular church have branches in USA (some of which have not had very good reports eg some ex members comparing it to a cult hence my apprehension)
The sermons are really interesting and I like the way they make them fit into current life.

I would do a bit of googling.
Loads of Pentecostal churches are fantastic. Some are not - are more like a front for a cult.

See if there are news reports about the one your daughter is joining.
Also, be encouraging generally (so as not to put a barrier up between the two of you) but tell her the warning signs e.g. pushing for baptism/membership extremely quickly, asking for money (in a pushy way), promising "God will make you rich/happy if you do XYZ."

That way, if this place is good, fantastic; if it's not, you're prepared.

Edited for clarity

Thank you for being there to support your daughter.

I have a niece who has discovered Christianity whilst at university - she initially started going to a church with the friends who invited her, but after a while changed to a different one that suited her better.

I should really get in touch with her myself - I have heard this second hand via my mother as my niece sadly doesn't feel she can talk about this at home / with her parents. She does know our side of the family is also religious - her cousins were choristers - but we don't meet up very often and haven't developed habits of communicating regularly.

Does this church belong to a denomination eg Elim or is it an independent? I note you say it has branches in USA.

Do you know any of the friends’ parents? Are any of them Christians and / or do they attend this particular church? It might be helpful to get some of their opinions.

If you want to share the website privately I’m happy to have a look. I’ve been a Christian for 43 years (since I was 22) and have some experience of different kinds of churches.

Incidentally I came from a similar background to your daughter (though no Catholic connection) and had no clue which church to go to after I became a Christian. God led me into my first church through the invitation of a new person at work in answer to prayer.

You’re being a lovely supportive mum by going with her, especially as this is outside your own frame of reference as churches go. And of course you want to make sure she’s in a safe environment. 👏🏻

So which US church is it? There are definitely some mega-churches one needs to avoid, like the plague. Ones that preach the Properity Gospel, for a start.

Thank you all so much for the kind replies. This is very much out of my comfort zone. The church belongs to the C3 church, I did look at my city's particular church and it had a bad press a few years ago related to the previous pastor there due to comments re racism. It now has new lead pastors from what I can gather.
My daughter's family have been going for a good while as they found this church the most welcoming for them and I did tell them my concerns re the past bad press but they were quick to say that's all in the past now.

So I found the London C3 website (which I presume would be a similar flavour to any C3 churches elsewhere). I did also find a statement of beliefs, it looks fine, the only thing that would make me raise an eyebrow is the very last one where they state 'We believe that all Christians can expect to be baptized in the Holy Spirit and can experience being filled with the Holy Spirit on innumerable occasions.' (bolding mine) which does lead me to think they put an emphasis on that in their meetings. That can lead to people thinking they need a Holy Spirit experience every time they go to church.

There is much in common with HTB - a big emphasis on young people.

What a new Christian needs is the Gospel. First and foremost, Bible study and reading the Bible daily. Fellowship is great, hopefully your daughter can find a Bible study group.

www.c3london.com/statement-of-beliefs

Thank you for that yes I'd read their statement of beliefs initially after going the first time, the gift of speaking in tongues really made me wary.
I will definitely give it more time but I've also said this may not be the church for her just because it suits her friends like I said before she has nothing to compare it with so is bound to think it's wonderful!
They are very youth focused and have bible study groups within the youth group also.
Thank you for taking time to reply I really do appreciate it 🤗

Speaking in tongues is only OK to do publicly if someone else can translate what's been said. I've seen that happen (in a small private gathering) and it was incredible, but often these churches just have lots of people babbling at the same time in what can only be described as nonsense as it doesn't edify anyone, since they can't understand it.

What you need to do is be a little ahead of the curve and just keep a watchful eye. It may all be fine, I hope it is! It's wonderful to see a young person come to faith.

Pentecostal churches can feel really welcoming and wonderful but it can be easy to mistake the ebullient atmosphere and high-energy leadership for something more than it really is. Not a universal criticism but some people have felt that their time in charismatic evangelical churches did them real harm. Things to check for - does the church seem to be telling members to cut ties and contact with non-members? Does it teach that only members of that specific type of Christianity are "real" Christians (there are some that will teach that catholics are all going to hell of example!)? If someone moves to a different chirch or decides not to continue attending are they ostracised and their former friends forbidden to speak to them?

If you don't see any red flags like that's great - I hope that you and your daughter find value in this part of your spiritual journey. There's no "right" option - the journey is more important than the destination.

And I can't resist it - what about you OP? Where are you on your faith journey, is it all on a back burner, have you had belief in the past but not now? Or never? We can be brought up in a Church but never believe. Perhaps there's something for you, too?

I’ve had a read through the statement of belief too and I don’t see anything there that would be a concern.

I believe that the gifts of the Holy Spirit haven’t ceased and use the gift of tongues during my personal prayer and worship.

I noticed someone raised a concern about being filled “innumerable times” with the Holy Spirit. This is entirely consistent with scripture, see Ephesians 5:18 where the present tense of the verb means continually, over and over.

Ah OK thanks for the clarification re the Holy Spirit, I've never seen that mentioned before.

I've no issue with tongues being used privately, it's when it's a public place and no-one translates, that's a problem.

I'm always open to learning and trying my best to be a good person, and I have enjoyed the sense of peace I feel when I attend. Will definitely give it more time.
Again, thank you for all your kind replies it's helped a lot 🤗

Ilthe way I understand the gift of tongues is that it has two uses; to hear words from God, which should be translated and as a way to speak to God in prayer and worship when you can't find the right words yourself, sort of like singing/ praying directly with emotions. That's how I have used that gift before, although not very often.

I fully appreciate that Christian views will differ on this though because we are all different and that is something to be celebrated.

No problem, it’s to do with the verb in the Greek, and so it’s not obvious in English translations. This article is helpful
“And that brings us to Ephesians 5:18, where the present tense of the verb in Greek means just that: “Keep on being filled with the Spirit.”

www.desiringgod.org/messages/be-filled-with-the-spirit

I agree with you about the use of the gift of tongues in a public setting.
Scripture is clear,
“If anyone speaks in a tongue, let there be two or at the most three, each in turn, and let one interpret. But if there is no interpreter, let him keep silent in church, and let him speak to himself and to God.”
1 Corinthians 14: 27-28

The first church you go to as a teen or young person can be very helpful in establishing a journey as a Christian. It did with me. This church would be a good church for her to be baptised and recieve the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the gifts of the Holy Spirit.. This will support her and walk with her also in life as a Christian. Just make sure that wants to do this. I had my faith from very early in my life but started seeking it out more at 16 and I couldn't have got through without it. Good luck

I went to a church many years ago. On my first visit someone spoke in tongues and the service briefly continued. An elder then stood up and said that we needed to stop and wait for the interpretation of the words of prophecy. I attended that church for over twenty years as I feel it was good and correct (I then moved to a different town)

That's how it should be. Sounds like an awesome church!

I like this. Good for that elder to stop the service and wait. That’s how we should be when we meet in the presence of God - ready to stop our program and wait for Him to lead us on in the direction He wants us to go. After all, we are His church.

I was educated in Catholic schools and therefore attended mass up to 19. I attended my first Charismatic church at 17 for a few months.
I have had different experiences of different church's in my life. I am now non demontional but attend an Anglican church near me and sometimes also attend my Childhood Catholic church which is that far from me.

I just wanted to post this on reading all of this thread. Do not forget as well that there are more gifts of the Holy Spirit other than speaking in tongues. Some gifts to can be used to support dual purposes in a persons life like protection in a persons life and serving the the church. The gift of prophecy can for some people fulffil this role. God knows what is right for all of us. I thought for clarity sake to post this list that and to say The Holy Spirit Gifts can be used in any church that is worshipping God in the right spirit and not just Pentecostal church's. It is used in Anglican church's today and just for example my rector uses these gifts when she does services for healing and wholeness once a month and she preaches to us.
The nine gifts of the Holy Spirit are:
(I know that there are adminstration gifts as well)
Wisdom
Knowledge
Faith
Healing
Miracles
Prophecy
Telling spirits apart
Speaking in different languages
Explaining what was said in those languages

Catholic church's Charismatic ones are resurging in the use of these gifts.

Tell her to keep reading the Word and pray on it asking for guidance. My main advice would be to stay out of the churches until she has clear guidance on Sabbath