13 year old bowel habits - poss TMI sorry

[flatstanleysmum]

My DS opens his bowels twice a week max and it has been this way since toddlerhood. It doesn't seem to trouble him but normally blocks our toilet!

My gut (!) feeling is that this can't be very healthy and I wonder if I can help him establish a more regular habit when we're at home and more relaxed during long Summer hols. Diet already pretty healthy, but I'm sure he doesn't drink enough.

I don't feel he'll be very receptive to discussing his toileting and trying to change, but I just wondered if anyone else had succeeded with a similar challenge? I just feel I ought to try and do something for the sake of his long-term health.

Have namechanged as embarassed; please be kind!

Only twice a week is normal for some people, if he is comfortable, ie no tummyaches and not straining terribly to pass a rock hard poo, then it's fine.

I know a girl who only used to poo once a week

Just about possible at this age to not embarrass him...but only just.

So diet ideas might be...

Buy him a new water bottle and fill if often for him?

Put LOTS of fruit/veg into all the stuff you cook? I'm thinking grated carrot, pepper into spag bol, apple and cabbage into salad, smoothies for breakfast, that sort of thing.

In the hols it's good he will have more time to sit and erm...poo. May be worth you talking to your GP and trying a short course of laxatives?

How do you know how often he poos?

Thanks moan and noteven for your helpful responses. Going to make a big effort with fibres and fluids and may be ask GP for advice.

Can you use the summer to introduce laxative fruits like apricots, cherries, plums etc into your family diet? With enough fruit and fibre, and, as you say, water, he should naturally want to poo every morning. He may have quite a stretched bowel by now, which may be preventing him from pooing every day.

Will do, Bonsoir. Yes I think it'll be difficult to "change the habit of a lifetime". I wish I'd tried before now, but he seems healthy and there have always been other things to worry about!

I think you might have a word with your GP - I suspect that the "habit" is both psychological and physical, and you may need to work on both angles!

When the bowel stretches, it can take years to shrink - so your efforts at getting your DS to poo daily may have to carry on for a very long time.

How about adding some golden linseed to his morning cereal, unbeknownst to him? If he eats müsli, or if you bake your own bread, this is easy to do. Golden linseed is a remarkably efficient laxative with no side effects.

My mum "goes" once a fortnight normally. see Docs about it and as it is "normal" for her they aren't worried. As children we always had home cooked stuff with part wholemeal flour, pies, scones, cakes etc to try and help ....

I really hate to say this, but could any psychological element be exacerbated by his mum knowing how often he poos? I wouldn't know how often my 9 year old goes to the loo if he didn't sing his "poo song" very loudly while he does it (more psychological issues in the making??), and I have no idea about my 14 year old's loo habits.

Thanks Not and seeker. I take your point Seeker, but I have only made enquiries recently due to humungous toilet blockages that he's caused (sorry if TMI, but you did ask).

It's a mother's job to feel guilty isn't it? I could feel guilty for being too intrusive, but equally I feel it would be better for his long-term health to be more regular and noone else is going to do anything about it if I don't. DS2 happily plops away and I do not keep a tally for him, so I don't think I have an unhealthy interest!

Teach him the Poo Song?!

Yes, I'll remember that if all else fails!

Ahh, the joys...

Could you go on a 'lets drink more water' campaign as a family?

Obviously, the aim is for him to have much more water each day but he doesn't need to know that.

Ds has poo problems and drinking loads of water is the key for him, as well as sitting on the loo each day.

He gets football cards for sitting on the loo and is much better at drinking a couple of large sports bottles of water a day but sometimes needs an incentive.

Dd has no poo problems and drinks much less water. So, I think, some of us need more fluids than others.

Good idea Daft.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

Another vote for linseeds (flaxseeds), brilliant, they don' have any taste and help in various ways, it's a traditional remedy.
Also, try sneaking in some (cooked) beetroot into the menu, a couple of slices, next to salad etc, very good (I think it contains magnesium that helps). Or you can get salad leaves with beetroot leaves ("swiss chard" I believe?).
It's not healthy to go so infrequently.

Probiotics are also good, but they are capsules.

Some great ideas nightcat thanks.

Any one out there succeeded with a challenge like this one?

I had the same toilet symptoms in the past , that resolved when my ds had to go gluten-free (and so did I in solidarity]. I understand it a lot better now too.

'normal' can be considered, anything from 3 times a day to once every 3 days (not hugely different to twice a week). If it's not something new and there's no other cause for concern I wouldn't worry too much.

Thinking about it now - my brother only "goes" every day if he drinks an Actimal sort of drink.

FSM, does your ds get headaches? Coz I used to and , interestingly, as long as I managed to go as soon as I felt one coming, they went away w/o any more help.

I do not have poo advice but would like to say that it is not a Mums job to feel guilty

Guilty is a negative emotion and not needed by anyone.

You do a great job nurturing your kids if you care about them and think about their diet

Ds went from going every 4-5 days and now goes nearly everyday. He was impacted though and needed to clear that first.

Has been a few years and still we have to focus on it. It takes a long time for the bowel to normalise from being impacted - not saying that your ds has this, of course.

Thanks everyone.