stress during pregnancy - how might it manifest itself in my child?

[asparagusaddict]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask but for a number of reasons which couldn't be avoided I had an extremely stressful pregnancy (pregnancy related stress which all turned out OK in the end so the causes of the stress have now gone ).

I keep reading how harmful this is to the child long term.

I feel terribly sad that my beautiful little boy has a host of problems stored up for him in the future.

Does anyone know what kind of problems the stress could cause and is there any way I can make up for it now he's born?

Firstly may i send you a big virtual hug-I am sorry to hear you have had a dreadful time.

I too had a very very stressful pregnancy-external factors-DH got made redundant 2 months before DD was born and we were having some house and garden renovations done by an idiot. And there were floods and all sorts of awful silly things and I worried about this too, especially toward the end. I also had a very traumatic birth experience and PTS & PND-I am convinced some of it was partly because of the stress I was under at the time.

I would advise you this, dont sweat it, you have no way of telling if your child has been affected by your stress levels, it's different for everyone. My little girl is a stunner, bright, intelligent, vocal, willful, happy and wonderful. She is a normal little girl.

The one thing you can do now is just be yourself with your baby, live the moment. Dont stress the small stuff. Relax and enjoy this wonderful time.

I hope this helps
Big love xxxx

My father died unexpectedly when I was 7 months pregnant with my son, and said son has been a bit of a nightmare to bring up. Hyperactive, non comformist, highly intelligent but totally underachieving, easily bored and disruptive at school.
But if I'm honest I think it is more to do with his personality, (very highly strung like his dad).
My son was colicky and unsettled as a baby. Was this stress? . If your LO starts off as a settled baby see that as a good sign. I do wonder like you, if this was from my stress in pregnancy, but its just another thing for us mums to beat ourselves up about. Don't worry, there's nothing you can change except your negative thoughts and worries, so concentrate on giving LO a solid secure start in life.
PS. My DD - relatively stress free pregnancy (had DS rampaging around!) was gorgeous happy baby !

I'd agree with beammeup, who knows if it's personality or pregnancy factors? I had a very stress-free pregnancy and was fine with DS for the first couple of months but he's a very active and determined boy and I struggled quite a lot around 4-9 months, I think. As soon as he walked, things got LOADS better!! Although I had to chase him a lot (still do).

I do remember a study by a dentist suggesting teeth might possibly be weaker after a stressful pregnancy - so perhaps worth bearing that in mind; the adult teeth shouldn't be affected though, just the baby ones, so don't get too anxious about it!

Just try to be as relaxed as you can with parenting, comfort your DS when he cries (if you can work out why he's crying... I always struggled with that bit!) and give yourself a break if you are getting wound up so that you can come back to him afresh.

My favourite midwife said to me that when you leave the labour ward you take your baby with you, and a whole bag of guilt for all the ways you are going to beat yourself up over "letting your child down" or "not being the best mum in the world" I am so sorry you had such a stressful pregnancy, and I have no idea what or if there are any longer term consquences for it. On the whole I would say that nature is pretty amazing, and the ways babies are protected in the womb and after by their mums and dads sets them up for life. Please don't beat yourself up for having got through a really difficult time. Enjoy your beautiful ds and being his mum.

Big, big hugs.

I had a lot of stress in pregnancy caused by being hospital for nearly 2 months with high blood pressure. DS is 14 now and actually quite a laid back teenager.
He was always very mature mentally and I thing he was a bit of a frustrated baby/ toddler. He has dyslexic problems, but then so does DH and his health problems are genetic.l;

The only thing I know about is stress around the 5m mark can cause enamel problems in children's teeth (this has a proper name, can't remember it) Something to do with the teeth buds forming at that point of gestation and being adversely affected by stress. My friend lost her horse, who she had had for 27years and who was her best friend, when she was 5m pg - her DS has grey patches on his teeth where there is poor enamelling and has to be extremely careful about tooth hygiene. Her dentist told her that stress at this point in pg can cause this problem.

Just looked up how the children are supposed to be affected.

DS definitely not ADHD, has no behaviour problems. Cognitive ability, he is top set despite dylexia. He does have allergies but then so do DS and I.

Please dont worry about it, I seem to attract stress when pg through no fault of my own

• when pg with dd was physically and mentally abused on a regular basis
• when pg with ds1 was taken to court by above abuser for access to dd
• when pg with ds2 my father committed suicide and died slowly over 2 weeks, it was horrendous

• dd is now 14 and starting GCSE's next year, she is extremely bright, she gets hayfever other than that she has the immune system of a super hero
• ds1 is now 5 and 2 years ahead in his reading and writing skills, no allergies or any other problems that we know of
• ds2 now 6 months and on the 91st centile, big strong healthy boy looking likely to play prop forward for Wales

Please don't worry too much about this
This is my experience
DD1 - working full time in stressful managerial position, daily inter-department arguments sorry meetings. Grandmother died when I was 7 months pregnant. She was born 2 weeks early and after 23 hours I had a ventouse delivery. She came out wide eyed and her calm countenance continued until she was about 2 ...
DD2 - sahm after being made redundant so most days pretty relaxing once I had taken DD1 to school. Daughter from hell was born 2 days early and cried more the day she was born than her sister did in a week. She is now 2 1/2 and is still a daily ...lets say challenge x