Bladder Control, getting a bit worried about dd now

[FreakoidOrganisoid]

DD is 3.10, now been in knickers for 2 years (her choice).

When she first trained she got it very quickly and had only a few accidents. But 2 years later we still haven't moved on from that point, she still has between 1 and 4 accidents every day (v rarely none and only then if I watch her like a hawk and make her go regularly).

I have now noticed that she cannot hold it AT ALL, she seems to only know that she needs to go as she is about to go which would be fine at her age if she had only just started training but after 2 years?? If we are out and she says she needs a wee I have to rush her to a toilet or lift her, if I wait she wets herself. At preschool if the teachers ask her to wait a minute she wets herself, same if she tries to wait til the end of the story or song or whatever. At home she often barely makes it upstairs to the toilet in time. Also she will have a drink and then need to do 5 or 6 wees-her bladder seems really tiny.

Is there anything I can do to increase her bladder capacity or train it somehow? The GP won't see it as a problem until she is over 4 but now I really do feel like she has an actual problem rather than her being distracted or whatever.

Has she been tested for urinary tract infections? This can cause urgency in needing the toilet.

I think you are right to persevere with the GP to get her referred to a further specialist.

She was tested for one a month or so ago and was given ABs but then the test came back negative.

I would persevere with the doctor and in the meantime reassure her that this problem is not her fault.

Is she drinking enough? Bladder is a muscle that sometimes needs abit of a work out and many children dont receive strong enough messaging to go for a wee unless bladder full-might be worth upping fluids and see if it makes a difference.

This sounds exactly like my DD. We also had soiling problems to deal with for a while which really wasn't pleasant. You have my sympathy though, it is so frustrating and the washing is endless.

I took DD to the GP at exactly the age of your DD (she had potty trained at the same age too. Our GP referred us for a scan of her bladder and kidneys etc, though she didn't think there was a medical problem. She suggested reward charts etc, but we'd tried all of this as I'm sure you have.

I gave the reward chart another go, but TBH it didn't make much difference. Then a couple of things happened. She stayed dry for 4 days while we were away at a relative's house. This indicated to me that she could do it if she wanted to. Then I noticed that she was reluctant to go to the toilet because she didn't want to miss out on anything (DD2 was taking her toys/ attention). When she did go she was just doing a quick little wee to make herself comfortable and then dashing back (this was what she would often do in her pants to avoid going to the toilet all together).

When I explained to her that if she took a few more seconds to empty her bladder fully, she would need the toilet less often. This seemed to click with her and since January she has been dry.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep trying different strategies, but in the meantime I would go back to your GP to put your mind at rest.

I am having exactly the same problem with my dd, she seems to go every 20 mins or so and never seems to be able to hold it. When I was pregnant with her she had dilated kidneys one was much worse than they other and after she was born was meant to have antibiotics and a follow up scan 6 weeks later....which never happened, they told me as long as she is weeing normally its fine so on Monday I took her to the gp and mentioned it and wondered if that could be the problem, she is refering me to the paeds more for my own reassurance as she doesn't think there is a problem with her kidneys. I do not know what to do about it?

is she constipated at all? DS was very late in being dry and part of the problem was he was constipated which seemed to make the wetting worse (almost like the retained poo was pressing on the bladder (sorry if that is TMI).

You might be able to talk it over on the phone with a health visitor - that's what I did, she gave advice on how much liquid a child of my DDs age should be drinking - lots more than DD actually was. (this was at about twice your DDs age, incidentally - yours is still very young!)

Enough liquid is vitally important, and as someone else said, make sure she empties properly. Get her to have her wee and then count 'one fairy, two fairies' etc up to 10 (or pirates, in my DDs case, or ponies or whatever she likes)