Taking my baby to the dr too many times apparently!!!

[CharlieBoo]

My dd is 9 months and historically a very chesty baby who has had bronchilitis twice and they have mentioned asthma a couple of times but too young to dx. Just got back from gp from my 3rd visit of week. First visit was for chest, dr said sounded mucussy see how she goes. Second visit was she fell on her face pulling herself up and split the flap of skin betweeen her gum and top lip. Last night she was awake coughing for 2 hours so back this arvo to my normal dr who is normally lovely. Today she pulled up on screen how many times I have been in jan n feb and was saying they should get me a room here. I felt so embarrased and as if they are laughing at me. I am so upset. How will I take my dd now if she is poorly. I feel humiliated and a failure. I do have health anxiety about my kids but not without good reason. My dd has had 3 chesty episodes since Xmas, a vom n diahrea bug, an ear infec all since Xmas!!! God I feel crap n just wanted to vent!!

Don't feel crap. It is always worth getting your children checked out if you are worried about them. Better safe than sorry.

The GP made a humourous remark. He didn't accuse you of anything.

Relax.

My paediatrician said that he would rather see a child once too often than miss something because the mum was wary of being seen as hypochondriac.

Don't worry about it. I was at the docs monthly with DD. It has improved as she got older and her immune system got stronger.

I am sure that he would be sorry to think of you being upset by his throwaway remark.

You said yourself you have health anxiety about your kids.
Have you tried using nhs direct for advice instead .

She was making a point to me and then mentioned something about me panicing!! Maybe it is me with the prob, I just love my kids and worry about them too much I know. I think I am goingbto try and get a job or something so I can relax a bit and get out of house. X

oh, please don;t fret....tis a throw-away comment that you have taken to heart because you are feeling sensitive. It isn;t meant in the way you have taken it, I promise.

I know, I have been there. I had DD3 ever so poorly for a long time, and I had the HV comment that at 5wks old, my DD3 had been more than some other babies at a year old, and then by the time her 3rd birthday check came, she had had over 34 admittances to hospital.

tis just the manner of the game with some children, sadly. Some get poorly lots, some don;t. But the ones that don;t, and their mummies, have other issues that they get guilty over.

I doubt either that you are getting much sleep, and together with the fretting about your DD, you are taking it all too much.

my sympathy.

one thing......if that comment comes up again, open up a convo about whether they think it worthy of a referral to a paed, just to ensure that there is no underlying cause for the constant infections. There probably isn;t, but if you are anything like me, you are probably also convinced something dire is going on (completely normal to think that BTW), and a referral might well put your mind (and heart) at rest.

Have you got friend/family who you could seek reassurance from when you are worried about your dc?
Sometimes it's something weve all been through and an experienced mum might be able to reassure you.

TBH 3 times in a week seems a lot to me, but then I am very lucky that mine are very robust and never suffered much more than coughs and colds.

I don't blame you for being extra cautious with your baby's history but you are being a bit over senstive. She was just making a light hearted comment - don't take it as any kind of critism because I'm sure she didn't mean it to be.

Thank you for replies. It's not as if she isn't poorly but a few of the times have been the anti bs didn't agree with her so they made me see a dr. Another appt was a review she told me to book for her chest n when I was there looked st me as if I had 2 heads for being there with a healthy baby.

Thank you pschomum5, I am a nightmare I'm not denying that but she has been poorly and I am worried about her chest/constant cough and have v little sleep. I am worried now that it's got to the point that they won't take me seriously and I guess that's my fault. Don't know where to go now, or what to do about it. I just like to have their reassurance as her chest has been soooo bad, but now they are sick of reassuring me. I need to sort myself out.

Yes ggirl, but it was my mum who told me to take her as she could feel her chest rattling!

charlieboo, I was a nightmare too back at the time, and still can be when all poorly....luckily tho I have a wonderful (most of the time) GP practise who are always willing to see me and mine.

It even got to the stage when DD3 was teeny that I would ring, and the receptionist would recognise my voice, and before I even asked for an appointment she would say "morning Mrs Psycho, which one today....DD3 again?"

From my point of view, I had DD2 and DD3 ill lots, and they have both been since DX'd with immune deficiancies, so I feel vindicated for all the appointments, but please don;t panic that this could be your DD, I am just commenting is all.

I would however maybe next time (assuming there is), take your mum and maybe she could broach the subject of a referral maybe. I do know that for some reason, docs take a grandparent more seriously if they say that they are worried. My MIL has been listened to about my children more than me at times.

Please don;t take all this to heart tho, and stop going if you are worried. That is the last thing you need to do, especially if your DD is poorly. Most docs really don;t mind seeing a baby and reassuring an anxious mum.

I certainly think they would laugh in my face if I asked got a referral and tbh I don't think she needs one. I am over cautious, it's me who needs my head looking at.

well, this thread has helped in a way then hasn;t it

and tis not your head needs looking at, you just need to unload on here

charlieboo - I have been in a similar situation with dd1 and like you I do have anxiety about my dd's health.

Luckily dd2 is as healthy as a horse. Never sick once in her 15 months.

DD1 is a different story - she sounds like your dd. She has recurrent chest infections from an early age and was diagnosed with asthma at 19 months. She is almost 4 now and has improved a lot.

If you are ever concerned about your dd especially with breathing related issues DO NOT BE AFRAID take her to see someone. When dd1 was 19 months old she had a bad chest infection. We took her to Out Of Hours doctor who basically told us she had a cold and to take her home and stop worrying.

Because we had seen the GP we thought we must be over anxious and sat there listening to dd1 struggling to breathe for HOURS. I will never forget when I finally rang back the OOH service and the nurse said 'is that your baby I can here in the background? She needs an ambulance immediately'

I nearly died - I was inconsolable. The ambulance came immediately and rushed her to hospital - on oxygen all the way.
Her oxygen was at only 80% what it should be.

I never allow myself to be rushed out or fobbed off now. That doctor did not take our concerns seriously and it was dd who suffered.

Sorry for the rant but I do think in most cases the parents know best.

In your dd's case I would definitely look for a referral if her chest problems continue.

DD1 is on Singulair now and it has a made a great difference.

Best of look.

Don't forget that mums know their DC better than doctors. You know how she is when she is unwell and can spot the signs better than a doctor.

I have been to the doc with DD loads of times wiht a suspected urinary infection. Often by the time I get there, she has drunk so much water that there is no sign of an infection. I know that there has been the beginning of one because she has trouble weeing and it hurts. I also know how to head them off at the pass. I don't care if the doc thinks I am mad, more important to me is that DD gets antibiotics if needed as soon as possible.

Dont panic.

Ds was in hospital twice before he was 6 weeks with nothing specific and that made me paranoid. Then from 9months (start of winter) until 18 months he had chest infections, ear infections, turned blue when coughing - everything. I may as well have moved into the docs.

He is 3 now and is (touch wood million times) rarely THAT ill. He just needed to grow a bit I think. Also, they say babies are often ill lots when theyre wee and then theyre the toddlers who are more healthy.

Tbh I think the baby being unwell has fed into my fears and now I worry sometimes unecessarily. It is awful when they are struggling to breathe and I know the signs of the beginning of it which unfortunately are also the same as a cold, cough etc. I do panic and crave reassurance because of this. I sm never up there with myself or for ds. She was harsh on me. Dp just came in and said we pay our taxes, she's our baby and if we want her checked what is the prob???

I know exactly what you mean charlieboo. DD1 is nearly 4 now and I still dread her coming down with a cold because I have to watch her all night (she always gets worse at night) to make sure her breathing is ok and sometimes it is just a cold but every now and then it does turn into a full blown attack and we have to go straight to the hospital.

I think parents who haven't experienced breathing difficulties in small children/babies are so lucky. It is terrifying and I still tend to panic a bit.

Got told off by a GP today for using the 'sit and wait service' for ds who possibly has an ear infection (unconfirmed) and very little hearing all week so his teacher had to move him to the front so he could see her face.

GP was very abrupt, so unfortunately so was I. Since my option were sit and wait in his surgery with two young children for an hour or have an appointment in a week's time, which would he have chosen?

Your dd has had recurrent problems - better to be on the safe side.

I'm a Granny with grown up children, but many years back I actually landed up with a visit from our GP to make an apology on behalf of the practice for not listening to me!
My 5 year old had landed up in hospital with Steven Johnson Syndrome after suffering with acute itching all over his body for 2 days and nights. I had to sit in the bathroom with him in a warm bath for 2 nights to ease it for him. I had called out the doctor (they came out in those days!) and he had told me that I was an hysterical mother and was transmitting my panic to my child and that was why he was ill
My son was in hospital for 4 days after I just put him in the car and took him there!! So you stick to your guns charlieboo

Thank you so much for positive vibes/stories. My mum rang earlier n I told her all that she said and she was horrified!! She says she's coming up there next time dd is poorly!! She said she's a baby with 2 inhalers, a constant cough, had a dose of steroids, 3 lots of anti bs, and were not supposed to be concerned?? Feel bit better now and dp is mad as he said makes you feel like you shouldn't take her which is not a situation we want to be in.

I have given up feeling bad for taking my DDs to GP, thats what they are there for and sod it, I dont care if they think im over protective, these are my girls and if im owrried they should be. However, I made mistake of taking DD2 to GP last week only to be told I should have taken her to A&E but then previously I got told off my A&E for taking her with breathing problems to A&E
Dont feel bad, your doing your job as a mum and so stick with it. they do get better as they get older

Hi Charlieboo. I just thought i would echo what others have already said. My DS was 2 today and he's had lots and lots of chest problems too. I also feel a bit neurotic when I take him to GP because his breathing is bad and am told his chest is clear. However, my GP does always say (whether he means it or not, who knows!) that he is happy to see him as many times as necessary. He has had a history of getting very sick quite quickly and needing hospital treatment so they do understand.

The other thing I would say is that he is under a consultant who is testing for various lung problems. I spoke to the consultant who has written to the GP to make it clear he should be treated early not left to see "if he can fight it off on his own". With his regime of asthma meds and reflux meds (prescribed by consultant not by GP) he has had an ok winter so far, only 2 hospital trips, so I am glad I was paranoid and made sure he got the right treatment. Don't be afraid to ask.

I also got very anxious about it and have had some counselling. The counsellor said to be, do not ever worry about getting them checked and try to say "I am concerned" rather than "I am worried" as it sounds less emotional. But she said GPs are gatekeepers for the NHS, it is their job to see people and assess whether or not they are ill. We are just parents, not medically trained, and we should not feel embarressed about making sure our children are well.

We got a book when ds1 was small called "The Beginners Guide to Fatherhood" author Colin somebody. Very funny book. Can't remember the exact quote but it goes something like:

2 weeks old: Your doctor knows you by your first name

4 weeks old: You know your doctor by his first name

8 weeks old: The staff at GPs reception know you by your nicknames.

Its normal, the GP didn't mean anything by it, they were in all likelihood referring to your baby's bad fortune rather than your hypochondria!

after 3 years of going to the docs with a myriad of things wrong with me and no diagnosis....a doc once said ...maybe you have munchausens syndrome to which i nearly hung drew and quartered them.The fact that they couldnt diagnose me meant i was making it up[huh]
Maybe it was because they were so crap. After 3 years, got a diagnosis and ended up in hospital for a week with iv immunoglobulins. I asked the doc apologise for his insinuation. Subsequently when i had pneumonia i stuck it out at home and the doc said,'why didnt you come to the surgery.' So i sarcastically said...I didnt want to bother you ,in case you told me there was nothing wrong.
I have lost faith.

I have got better things to do than waste gp's time and mine for that matter.