Help me Mumsnetters - I need wise, calm advice

[DottyDot]

We've just got Ds2's operation date for his tonsillectomy and I'm in serious panic mode...

He's nearly 6 and has always coughed at night, huge tonsils, poor hearing when he's got a cold,snores like a train etc.

So we've been taking him to the GP (mainly for the coughing at night) since he was tiny and eventually got referred to ENT who said yes, get his tonsils and probably adenoids out.

All this has taken so long but yesterday the date comes through and it's for 2 weeks' time.

And I'm panicking big time because since before Christmas the cough has completely disappeared - after him coughing every night all night since he was born, it's now vanished. His tonsils are still big but he hasn't had a cold and I think his hearing's OK at the moment.

So I'm having a minor meltdown that now he doesn't need the op. would we be subjecting him to it needlessly?

Doesn't help that I've just had an op. at the same hospital and am recovering but still in quite a lot of pain so feeling crapola about hospitals and operations in general...

Help!! Is it better to get them out, long term, or should we cancel the op and risk having to go back on the waiting list?

I just don't know what's for the best and can't talk to anyone face to face about it as I burst into tears (ridiculously) whenever I think about it.

Dp thinks we should still go ahead but me getting upset doesn't help so she also said she'd be happy for me to have the final say.

Aaarrggghhhh - any wise words/experience of having their children's tonsils out would be very much appreciated...

Aaarrggh - posted twice (jittery typing) - will get the other thread deleted.

hi my ds had his out at 5[now 20] he was ok was back to his self in a week its better for them to have them out when they are younger ,i had mine out at 30 never again as its worse for adults etc ,he will be fine

Hi

My son who is just 8 had his out 2 weeks ago. Like you I was in a real dilemma whether to go ahead with the op, but he has had tonsilitis every month for the last 14 months.

He had the magic cream on his hand an hour before surgery, and he never even felt the canula go in, so was stress free for him. He was in pain when he came round, but after more codeine he was eating a sandwich an hour later. We stayed in overnight, he had meds every few hours, was eating and drinking with little problem.

As long as he had his meds on time, he was fine. Even if he said he didnt need them at the time, the pain will creep back. I did get up during the night to give him painkiller so he wasnt in too much pain in the morning. He was in most pain on day 5 which is normal. After day 7 he didnt need any painkillers.

He has enjoyed his two weeks off school, and I was amazed how well he coped with it all, you tend to build things up in your own mind of horrible scenarios, but it really isnt so bad.

Sue

Aww - thank you for your replies - it's really good to hear from people who have been through it - none of our friend's children have had theirs out.

Good idea about giving the painkillers in the night - will put it on the list!

I think I just need to keep calm, breathe (!) and not cancel the op date. I had mine out when I was in my mid-20's, which was late to have them done and it wasn't great - I got an infection and was poorly for quite a while, which again is colouring my view of it. But I know that children recover far more quickly and I would rather he had them out now than in 20 years' time.

Sigh. Will keep not phoning to cancel - best I can do at the moment! Thanks all again - was in a right state this morning.

oi, noooo

I must have replied on the other thread and it got deleted

did you see my last reply about how each of mine recovered after the op??

please say yes

oh, not cross with you, was thinking I was going insane when I could find the thread on 'threads I'm on'.....

Hi there - yes I did - thanks!

Oh no - so you didn't see my long reply which wittered on about my many tests and stuff?!

Ah well - just to say I know how scary it is when no-one properly knows what's up with you and having to have a shed load of scary tests...

Anyway, I'm being brave and will keep ds2's op date - seems the younger he is, the quicker he's likely to recover - and the chances are if I cancelled it he'd start with a hacking cough the following night...

Dotty - although he's ok now, you know that as soon as he gets another cold, it will all flare up again.

I really would go through with it.

I had my tonsils out when I was 18 and I was horrible. However, there were two children in the hospital at the same time, aged about 7. They were up and about within hours of the operation, whilst I languished in bed for days!

It really is easier when they are younger.

no, I never did see your reply.

next time, don;t ask to delete the thread if you double up.

dottydot ,i was like you too had an infection not nice !!the younger they are they bounce back quicker

dd1 hasn't had tonsils out but she has had ga for an op

i was in knots trying to decide if it was for the best (squint op so more cosmetic than for health reasons)

it was fine, v quick recovery

he will be fine

good luck

Thanks all - it's definitely helped me calm down and not panic into cancelling the op.

Will go for it - I'm sure long term it's best for him, just typical he's been so well recently..!