Hi there
My ds2 was diagnosed with blepharitis and scarring at about the same age as your dd. (He is 5, nearly 6 now.) He also suffered from recurrent chalazion which were non responsive to antibiotics and got so large that he has scarring to both lids.
We tried the eye cleaning, cotton buds and baby shampoo or bicarb thing, but he hated it and got really upset making it increasingly difficult to do. The hospital just told us to try our best and prescribed the artificial tears, which he also hated.
Last year we were told he had strange indentations/pits on the sclera of the eye and they didn't know precisely what had caused it, but it wasn't improving and looked like it was permanent damage.
Then his consultant left and we saw a new consultant, who advised us to buy lid care wipes (which are not available on the nhs) as he had had other patients who had had good results with them and they are easier to use and more sterile than other cleaning methods. We couldn't afford them as you only get about 20 wipes and they are about 4.00 a box, so I did some research and found lid-care which is a different product, but does the same job. You can get them for 3.80 a box and there are 100 pads in the box.
We found that ds could then wipe his own eyelids and that took the stress out of getting him to do it as well as involving him in his treatment.
I also heard about eyebright/euphrasia tincture which we started giving him at roughly the same time. He has his drops in apple juice with his breakfast every day.
We have been carrying out this routine for just over a year now and having missed a couple of appointments at the hospital due to his illness and the arrival of a new baby, have just been back to see the consultant. Amazingly, not only has the pitting completely disappeared (the consultant said she couldn't believe it as there was no sign of it whatsoever) but he has not had a chalazion for over 12 months.
To be honest, I don't know if its coincidence or we were just lucky enough to hit on the right management/treatment regime for his problems by accident, but it has made a huge difference to him. He no longer needs artificial tears and we don't have to go through all the trauma of lid washing and eye drops every day.
Sorry, bit of a long rambling post, but thought it might be of some help, especially the lid wipes as they really did take the stress/distress out of the cleaning process.