PLEASE HELP - my 6 yr daughter is having a lot of trouble...

[ThisParentingLark]

...going to sleep. I know it sounds like a minor thing but she is exhausted, finding it hard to cope at school, tearful, pale, it's a nightmare. She goes to bed around 7.15 each night and reads for 30 mins ish then the lights go out (has been the same routine for about a year) but recently she'll appear at 8.30/9pm saying she can't sleep. I don't know what to do. Dh suggested a sticker chart but he's now upstairs comforting a sobbing dd who says she can't help not going to sleep and is very upset she won't get a sticker. Has anyone overcome this problem. I'd be really grateful for any help. Thanks.

Before I say this you have to bear in mind that I am OLD. Possibly I should be burnt at the stake for this, but:

When my DCs have got into a non-sleep/panicky over sleep habit (it's actually only really been DC3), I've broken the cycle with some Benylin Night Coughs for children. It makes them very very drowsy, they get a couple good night's sleep and the cycle breaks. I know there are herbal alternatives for adults - may well be some for children. Anyway - see what you think.

Oh bless her, (and you) I remember going through a phase like this when I was about 8 and getting all panicky when I was still awake and could hear the 9 o'clock news starting....

Would she have a drink of chamomile tea or something? That knocks me out. Or try some rescue remedy drops for the panicky upset-ness. (they helped dd enormously with her night terrors)

Hope she gets better with it soon.x

But if the drugging technique doesn't appeal - you say it's been the same routine for a year. It's clearly not a routine that works anymore. Change the timings - do bath/tea/whatever at different times. Maybe try going to bed half an hour later - she's obviously not ready at current timings. Just re-jig things a bit, and the associations with getting panicky may change.

Same problems here with DD just 7 - she does listen to Paddington story CD and usually works! Still a bit difficult for sleepovers and staying with relatives - but recently got a pillow talker - speaker for a CD player that goes under the pillow and only they can hear the story so not disturbing anyone else in the room.
Perseverance and not getting cross when you hear that patter of feet!
hth x

Thanks so much for the replies.
The problem at the moment is that she is (for the next few months) sharing a bedroom with 4yr old ds. I do think she could go to bed a bit later (anyone want to tell ds for me that dd will be staying up later than him?) That might be a good bribe as well, you can stay later but you do have to go to sleep when you go up otherwise it's back to normal bedtime. What do you think?

I'm a bit reluctant to introduce something that she then becomes dependant on (like the cd) for exactly the reasons you mention Katie - sleepovers etc.

I'm tempted by the drugging technique and if things get desperate I might try it but we're at early stages of this I want to try drug free first

It's difficult, I don't want to create any more stress about bedtimes but I don't want to let this develop into a huge issue either I thought I was smugly way past sleep issues.

What time does she get up? Maybe she is not tired enough at 7.15. My DD is quite a bit younger, and we usually do a story at 7.45, and then sleep time at about 8 or 8.15 pm.