If a kids' dentist advises £4k worth of work under GA -

[kif]

do I deduce that:

I am an unfit mother...

....or that the dentist is a lunatic?

What needs doing?

We were referred to this (specialist paediatric) dentist from our regular dentist. He thought a 'dead' tooth might be better extracted, and he saw one cavity which he filled with a temporary filling. He thought Dd would be more comfortable receiving treatment from a dentist geared up for kids.

The schoolmaster-ish paediatric dentist we saw today took X-rays. Wants to fill lots of in between holes in the teeth. He wants to put a metal crown on a molar, because he thinks a regular filling wouldn;t hold and the tooth is 'supposed' to last until she's 12. Also wants to extract the dead (wobbly but not quite ready to come) tooth because he says it might damage the adult tooth underneath. He says we can do 4 appointments to fix each quarter of the mouth in turn (charge: 2.5K). He recommends we get it done all at once under GA to minimise trauma and school absence (add £1.5K hospital fees).

where are you that you pay for kiddie dentistry?

I'd get a second opinion too. SOund slike Little Shop of Horrors

What??!!
How old is DD?

tell him to fuck orf and get a second NHS opinion.

Is this dentist just off Harley St by any chance?

I think I would want a second opinion for something so major.

i would go to a decent NHS dentist and get a second opinion tbh.

Run!

Lynette - yes he is! Do you know him?

Dd is 6 (yes 6 - which probably does put me in the unfit mother bracket).

I started taking her to a private dentist last year. I had some traumatic dentist experiences as a child (too much work done insensitively) - so i was kind of touchy about Dd being handled properly. The NHS dentist was OK for dispensing stickers, but a bit absent-eyed and perfunctory for me to trust him with administering pain to my Dd.

DH got dental insurance with a new job. I managed to wangle that DH would take Dd to the dentist (thus avoiding me projecting my anxiety onto her). Tbh, the dentist barely charged for Dd - so perhaps I wasn't set up for the shock of the cost of 'real' private dentistry.

I was hoping that a private dentist would have more time for her to reduce her (and my) anxiety. I hoped he'd have some tricks up his sleeves like 'painting' stuff onto teeth, air drills and stuff. I did, however, get a free lecture about whether I thought it was 'gentle' to subject her to a lifetime of decay and pain .

so would you be paying or not? i never understand private cover, it always seems to be a stepping stone to shelling out for stuff.

i wonder if there's a connection between his desire to do things to her six year old teeth and the four grand fee?

Kif - I suspected it was the same dentist I'd used for DS2 based on the ridculous fees. It's very hard to find a private pediatric dentist, and I think this practice does have a very good reputation - but it might be worth looking around (outside London) if the money is an issue. (Although last time I was there they did offer to pay my congestion charge for me. )

so would you be paying or not? i never understand private cover, it always seems to be a stepping stone to shelling out for stuff.

i wonder if there's a connection between his desire to do things to her six year old teeth and the four grand fee?

Well, I can't afford £4k. But I equally can't put a price on my Dd;s pain and welfare.

If it was a straight choice that I was 100% convinced in, I'd take a bank loan.

I didn't know the bill would come in that high - I thought it would be a couple of hundred that we could largely hustle through Dh's dental plan. Nor am I quite convinced that my Dd;s comfort and welfare involves going under GA for a problem(s) which to an untrained eye seem rather theoretical.

Can you somehow get referred to the Eastman? (London). It's an NHS specialist dental hospital with a fantastic children's dept, DD1 had extractions done there with local anaesthetic when she was 5 or 6 because I didn't want her to be given GA. They were absolutely wonderful, my very nervous DD was dealt with beautifully - she is now nearly 13 and can still remember the name of the lovely dentist. I doubt any private dentist would come close and am very about private always being better.

my NHS dentist has never been anything less than wonderful with my kids

Go to an nhs dentist for a second opinion, they will refer you tto the Eastman if necessary for free. The Eastman are AMAZING

Can I just (hic) pause to give you ladies an un-mumsnettish hug.

Loopy dentist: many votes.
Unfit mother: no votes.

I wasn't sure I wasn't going to get a roasting!

Was it this guy?

(Tonight's evening standard)

Dear god! I'm getting over 4 years of orthodontic treatment for that price!