someone help me!

[tryingtobemarypoppins]

I am really at my wits end.

DS 16 months had a tough start to life, was tube feed and on oxygen for 10 days early on and has had one bug after another since.

He started soilds well and there didn't seem to be a problem, however at Chrsitmas he had another heavy cold, went off his food and since then has only eaten breakfast since.

He lives off one bowl of cereal a day with around 10oz milk in between and the odd (very odd) snack of 4/5 rainins or a rice cake.

He has lost weight and is under the dietition and pediatrition. We have tried iron suppliments and feeding programmes, nothing has worked. They now feel they need to give him high calorie milk to increases his weight gain. He hasn't fallen off the chart but has lost weight and I am very concerned and exhusted.

HOWEVER, I don't think this is the answer. I have requested he have play therepy and see a speech and langauge advisor before we consider the milk but my DH thinks milk is what he wants and to go with it......I totally disgaree, I want his eating food.

I am so low and exhusted from the stress. We have tried everything.......just don't know what to do for the best and feel crap that his mummy can't solve this

Oh lord, I'm sorry I don't feel qualified to offer any advice. But bumping for you - I hope somebody useful comes along soon.

Thank-you Hester.......I just don't know how we got to this.

I would go for the milk to give him calories and weight gain in the short term and then make other investigations whilst this is happening. Do you have particular SALT concerns?

Thanks so much for your comments.

No concerns at all. He babbles and points, is very 'conversational' follows actions to songs, responds with sounds. He can say mumma, dadda, oh no, look, gone. That's about it - does that seem right?

I think the SALT team also deal with chewing issues etc?

I just worry that if this milk makes him feel full he won't be interested in solid food?

Yes, SALT can cover chewing problems under verbal dyspraxia, iirc.
I'm totally with you on the milk filling him up (I have a 5 year old that still does this given the opportunity) but in his particular case, I would go for the calories and then see if you can identify any specific problem.
Fwiw, he sound's fine to me with his speech ddevelopment (also have a 7 year old with language disorder).

Sorry if this is silly question but can you do both? Basically go back to as if you have just started to wean? Give a bit of puree, finger food and milk?

Are you worried that long term you may be creating problems by giving him milk? How much weight has he lost? How is his sleep? And what are his dirty nappies like?

I'm not a dietician, nor a mummy, I work as a nanny and just trying to offer support as it sounds horrid for you all.

Whoa! OK, firstly, try to stop stressing and stop seeing this as your fault. It isn't.

My dd was tube fed for around a year, didn't start weaning til about 12 months and has a long history of food refusal and fussiness. It can be stressful, absolutely, because you feel that it's your role to feed this child and have him thrive, but honestly the stress, the thinking about it almost every minute of everyday gets you nowhere.

Are you stressing most about the weight or about the lack of solids? And why do you feel that this has to be a choice between the formula or solids. You can give him the high cal milk and keep trying with solids at the same time - it's not an either or situation. Use the milk on his cereal and in his cup and keep trying the solids too.

By all means push for SLT and therapy. We had play therapy, SLT and dietician input. All of them mainly focussed on playing with food, putting food near the mouth to begin with and generally messing around with it until the child feels in control and comfortable. It can be a long road and in the meantime the high cal formula will take the pressure off, allow him to gain a little weight and maybe feel a little better in himself. In turn he may feel more inclined to eat for you.

Saggarmakersbottomknoker thank-you so much

The problem is bringing things to his mouth, he touches rice/pasta/well anything, and gages before its anywhere near his lips.

I guess I just feel like the moment we start the milk we really do have a problem iyswim? Your totally right though its probably not an either or situation.

Thanks navy, he was born on the 9th and now down to the 1st/2nd ish. His nappy's are runny or very full???! Not sure why as he eats so little??

He sleeps a lot, 5:45-7am then 10-1pm.

When he is awake he is active but has become increasingly wingy, although he is teething badly at the moment.

I just never thougt food we be an issue.....we love the stuff!