ds going in for an operation next week - advice please!

[snickersnack]

Ds is going into hospital next week for grommets, and possibly adenoid removal as well. Obviously it means a general anaesthetic, which is freaking me out. He?s 22 months, but has very little language (we?re obviously hoping grommets will help) so it?s hard to know what he understands.

Any advice would be great ? on helping him post the op, preparing him (perhaps a very simple book about hospitals), how to calm myself down and so on. His operation is scheduled for 10am, which means nil by mouth from 4am ? I can?t think of a worse time really, that?s too early to get up and start the day, but no way is he going to last if the last time he has anything to eat or drink is at 7pm when he goes to bed. Do you think waking him for a bowl of porridge or something around midnight is a crazy idea? He normally drinks loads of water first thing in the morning, so he?s going to be very upset when he can?t.

My DD had surgery at a similar age. We didnt try to explain too much to her about it, as it seemed pointless. We showed her books, and our hospital had a DVD that we showed her, that showed what happened in the peadiatric surgery ward (you might be able to find something suitable on youtube?).
We didnt bother waking her for food during the night, just skipped breakfast that morning. You will probably find the moring of the OP involves quite a lot of getting ready, getting to the hospital etc which will hopefully distract your DS from the fact he hasnt eaten.
Its hard to stay calm when your child is having an op. I found that it helped to remember that the risks are low (the car journey to the hospital is more risky than the operation), and also to act very calm and positive.
I behaved to DD as if we were going for a fun day out, and so she stayed completely calm and happy, which in turn made it easier for me.

DD had grommets when she was 3 so a bit easier to explain things to her. We made a point of being up-beat and excited about the whole thing - the fact that there were lots of different toys to play with on the ward meant that she was actually looking forward to it.
She didn't even notice the injection for the anaesthetic and was under within 10 seconds (that was the hardest bit for me).

After the op she was tired and a bit disorientated but not in any pain and 30 mins later had eaten four slices of toast.

The staff on ward were so used to dealing with children so we all felt really confident which helped DD a lot.

DD completely back to normal by bedtime and her op wasn't til 3pm.

When DD had her grommets op last April, (she also had a hearing test under anaesthetic, so it took a bit longer) we were worried about how she would cope without her morning drink, but with lots of distraction, she was fine. DD was 21 months when she had the op but she has developmental delay, so we couldn't do any explaining as she doesn't have that much understanding.
Children's wards will have lots of toys for him to look at while you are waiting. You might find the general anaesthetic a bit stressful, as he will go into a deep sleep very quickly and, even though I had been introduced to the anaesthetist beforehand, I found it hard to let strangers wheel away my lifeless-looking DD. She was absolutely fine afterwards--cried for a few minutes, then drank a whole bottle of milk, and within 2hrs of waking up, we were allowed home.
BTW the right grommet just fell out after 11 months, left one still in.
HTH

If the operation is scheduled for 10, you presumably need to be at the hospital by 8 at the latest?

IME , the difference in routine helps break the expectation that they will have a drink. Do everything you can to make the whole routine different, give him a small new toy when he wakes to distract fm wanting a drink, and just get him out of the house asap. Go straight into the front room, not the kitchen, if that is where he normall has breakfast. Don't eat or drink in front of him. I wouldn't bother waking him to feed him in the night - it's often the fact that they don't get food or drink when they expect it rather than the actual thirst or hunger that causes upset. But if he does wake in the night, you could give him some milk or something.

Just get on with looking after him. Everyone cries once theri child is unconscious, but before then, you have a job to do, so just focus on doing it! He will be fine - it's the adults who suffer!

It will be fine. Once you are at the hospital, they will help you through it - concentrate on distracting your ds

Are you seeing the anaesthetist fo a pre-assessment visit? Some allow a few mouthfuls of clear fluid for children up to 2 or 3 hours before an op.

But obviously don't do that without asking.

Do you get a pre op visit? DS is a veteren of grommet operations, the worst part is no breakfast but others say you just need to distract him. We have had the op at a couple of different hospital at different ages, when he was little he had the whole thing explained with a teddy that had a mask and stuff put on him and there was a colouring book sent from the ward to help talk him through, for the last set when he was 7 we went to look round the ward and even the theatre beforehand. My main tip is spare clothes the first time DS had grommets he was very sick when he came round all over me and him!

Does your hospital arrange an afternoon when all the children who are due to come into hospital for an operation are invited in for an afternoon - the hospital where I used to work, held these sessions one Saturday afternoon each month. I think it was called The Saturday Club.
We used to show the children around the ward, show them the trolley they'd be taken to theatre on and let them all clamber on for a ride along the ward and things like the thermometers, gowns, emla cream etc etc. It got the children used to the environment before they actually came in and was a great success.

What a great idea! Great for parents as well--I would have loved some preparation for the general anaesthetic bit!

I don't think anything can prepare you for the anaestetic bit!!! I worked on the children's ward before I had children of my own but I lost count of the times I would walk back to the ward with the parents with tears in my eyes! Think I was supposed to be there to support them

Thank you everyone, there's some really great advice here. I think dd has a book with pictures of children in hospital somewhere - we'll have a look at that. And reassuring about the food and drink - I'll probably give him some milk before I go to bed and leave it at that. We're going to need to leave around 7.30 and he hasn't normally eaten anything by then, so perhaps the excitement of an early morning outing and a new toy truck will divert him.

I've not had anything through from the hospital, but it's a children's hospital so I'm assuming they're used to this and will send some info.

I'm fairly sure he'll bounce back from the grommets. If he has to have his adenoids out too (he wouldn't open his mouth to let the consultant look properly) it might be a bit longer before he's feeling better, but lots of cuddles and stories will probably help.

Hope it all goes well. DD may have another GA coming up and it makes such a difference knowing what to expect.

be prepared to be very upset when they have the general

it's you who needs preparing, Ds will be fine

when Ds had his general for a hernia he was laid down on a trolley and I held his hand as he slipped into unconsiousness
walking back to the ward was very hard, I was on my own as DH was working abroad

when DD had an op at 1 year old, DH held her in his arms as she was given the general
he said it was awful, she just went all limp
glad it was him and not me

but both bounced back within hours, in fact DS walked to the car and was out playing football within a couple of days

i agree with blu about checking on the time limits for fluids. our LO had his tonsils and grommets done and he was allowed water and breast milk until quite soon before the op. i think it was about 3 hours, defo not 6.i think it was 6 hours for other fliuds and food

but OF COURSE you must check

agree about changes of clothes for you both. there were 3 other kids having the op with him and they ALL were very sick after coming back on the ward. Though i think that might be the bleeding from the tonsils so not relevant to you.

some parents had given the children new PJs & a toy to cheer them up and then they were sick all over it and got more upset