Pooing and weeing

[kidwelly]

Not sure this is in the right section but new to this game and nothing else fits so....My 5 yr od son is still wetting and pooing his pants.We have tried every approach we can - ignoring it, rewarding clean pants, cheering clean pants, getting cross - throwing pants in bin, sitting on step, taking away toys, ignoring for 5 mins...long discussions about the whys wheres, reasoning, begging!!
Since 2nd January we have had 5 whole days together of clean and dry - this was the latest ploy - 5 yellow circles on the calender and you get a reward - it was a solar system (doing space in school) and since then he has not managed a single day! We despair.
Next week I am potty training the 2 1/2 yr old with the vague hope that this will also encourage the elder brother...both are on board for it but then the eldest always says he will be dry tomorrow now...
He says it is really tricky staying clean and dry and at first linked to school and not wanting to poo in school (does anyone know a 5yr old that will poo in school because they don't want to wipe their bottoms?), but he can be clean and dry all day and it is in the last hour before bed whilst playing with his brother that we have the accidents.No matter how many times you direct him to the loo, it still happens - he can be in the bathroom and stil it happens.I have spoken to school nurse, his teacher, neither have offered solutions and his teacher says she has never known it(!).
Does anyone have any ideas?
He is a super bright child (say teachers not just us on a whim!) toliet trained himself (!) at 2 yrs 4 months - it was so easy, and then had a relapse about 6/12 after his brother was born and apart from xmas 2007 where we had at least 8 months of clean and dry (the condition for opening the advent calender!)it has been awful.Please has anyone any experience of what works.

bump for you

He sounds like my dd who is 5 in april !!

I have posted on here many times at my utter wits end with her. Especially leading up to starting school, as I was so worried about her pooing and weeing there and getting picked on.

I sought help from my gp a year ago, and she ruled out anything physical - she then advised star charts (as if we hadn't tried that one a million times!) but said we should actually physically taker her after every meal, and once inbetween.

This worked wonders for a while - then of course we got lapse, have busy lives and before we knew it back to square one.

Have now enlisted teachers help at school, as she as coming out wet and close to tears. They give her stickers and make sure she goes to loo. I do same at home. There really is nothing else you can do !

What I can say though is that I have one hundred percent STOPPED getting angry with her. I might sigh, say o dear, or what a pity, but not much else, I just tell her to get changed, or help her, and we start again. A few times a day she will go completely by herself to the loo, which is amazing ! But she still has lots of accidents too, mainly smaller ones though.

I think i needed to step back, calm right down, kind of give in in a way, and think ok, she wets herself, so what, I've tried everything. It doesn't bother me that much now, I just pray she will continue to get better, as the other children wil surely start to notice soon !

I wonder if he is constipated?

It's v common for a child not to want to poo at school and who can blame them, schoo loos = yuk and scary when you are only 5.

The poo in the pants - lumps or skids ?

Sorry to ask but there is a reason

Thanks for comments.SKids we ignore, mainly softish mess - we are vegetarian and have never had the lumps thing!We considered constipation after talking with the school nurse but he goes twice a day and has done for years.We had a clean and dry day yesterday!He was thrilled so were we, but today all day at home playing with brother and cousins and despite going off to the loo almost hourly, he pooed.I have started the 'oh dear' line now but find it hard to contain my crossness as he can do it but just doesn't!He doesn't seem bothered about being dirty or wet unlike your dd chatkins as he would go all day in same pants if we didn't change him - boys and girls I guess!He does take himself off to the loo and we tell him as well and you always know when he has had an accident as he will protest about going! His teacher really wasn't interested in it and I don't think grasped how much of a problem this is for us.You are right, step back and chill...difficult though...Had zero success with 2 1/2 yr old today but not a good day to start as too much going on with unexpected visitors.The 5 yr old was very keen to help though!!