Help - no signs of dry nights in almost 4 year old

[traceyinrosso]

Can anyone offer advice here ? My daughter was slow to toilet train but been dry by day for about a year but no real signs of being dry at night. We have had occasional dry nappy but nothing regularly. She occasionally has accident if falls asleep during day so just don't know if body not ready or need to push the issue and put her on potty/toilet before we go to bed. Any ideas ? Feel daft have done this twice before without problems so bit stuck !

Hi tracey- my dd is 3.7 and similarly shows no sign of being dry at night, despite having been dry during the day since she was 2. she doesn't even seem to know whether she is wet or dry in the morning, so I assume it is still beyond her control.

I read that they can't be dry at night until they start to produce a hormone (vasopressin) that tells their kidneys to make less urine at night, so you could be fighting a losing battle trying to push it. Not sure if this helps- will be watching your thread to see if anyone has the answers!!

Not sure if this helps but my ds was over 5 before he was dry at night. He went from a completly soaked nappy in the morning to waking up and going to the loo practically overnight and has never had an accident since. I don't think it's worth pushing - they can't do it til their brains are ready.

my dd1 much the same. i reckon is coz she is such a heavy sleeper. is she a heavy sleeper? not much can be done. does it matter if still in nappies at night?

ds2 is 4 in a few weeks and just the same.ds1 was all sorted at this age by himself so didn't have to think about it.not bothered to be honest..imagine will be sorted when he starts school later in the year if only because he won't want to lie down to put nappy on anymore..can't use pull ups as they leak!

dd is 4.5 and we have just in the last couple of months cracked it. Before that she was waking to a very wet nappy and was also getting very sore. My mum suggested we buy a couple of Kylie pads - they are absorbant washable pads that absorb up to a litre of urine and stay dry so if dd had an accident it wouldn't wake her (or me) - we then took her out of nappies and pj bottoms and let her have a bare bottom in bed. At first we lifted her every couple of hours until we went to bed at midnight. We were amazed that she seemed to do all of her wee in the first couple of hours of the night. After around a month we then put her back into pj bottoms and last week we got rid of the Kylie pad. She has been dry now for weeks and she is so happy, it was really starting to bother her and she is so proud of herself. We do still lift her before we go to bed and sometimes she almost stays asleep but all in good time, she is a very heavy sleeper. I would really recommend the Kylie pads as they are super absorbant and gave her the confidence to realise that it didn't matter if she had an accident. It is something that we never thought would get better, and somehow it has so it's well worth a try. Although agree to some extent that it's due to bladder maturity but if we hadn't pushed it, she'd still be in nappies now.

I kept my eldest in nappies until past 4 because they were still wet in the morning (and I'm lazy). However, went away once and forgot to bring any nappies. She has wet the bed about 3 times in her life. I don't think the nappy in the morning is a reliabel indictaor. If it's on they just might use it

I put this cry out when I first joined mn [I think it as why I joined actually] - though mine was more of a is this normal & does it matter type question.

I go loads of responses, and DD is 4 yrs and 3 months and noooo sign of a dry night in sight so can reassure you it is fairly common.

Obviously it's different for different kids - like HangingBelly whose dd was getting bothered by it.

My dd was slow to 'day train' too [was turning 3] but then did train in a day by simply asking to go to the toilet. No fuss, drama or work. So am hoping one day the same will happen for night time too.

ds1 was dry during the day before his 3rd birthday. He is now over 5 and still wet at night. It's really not an issue, doctors aren't worried until they're nearer 7 and still wet.

Thanks for the messages - I personally am not too worried but am concerned when she starts school in September that she might get teased if other kids realise she is still in nappies at night. Will probably just go with the flow for now but perhaps over the summer might give it a go putting her on potty before we go to bed - any more tips anyone ?

No point until they're ready. And I say that as someone whose boys were dry at 3.

Other kids won't know she's in a nappy at night, why would they? I bet some of DS1's classmates are (or were until recently) in nappies at night.

dd2 wasn't dry until 5. it resulted in one of my worst mn experiences that still smarts. I (and many others) are of the school that says it's a physiological thing and they'll do it when they're ready. moondog was utterly horrible about it, calling us lazy and other nasty things that I can't remember now. dd proved me right. one night she just said "I don't want to wear pull-ups any more" so I said "ok". and that was it. no wetting. so much less stressful than trying to teach her something I really don't think she could have done until she decided to.

I wouldn;t worry about the school thing - they won't know. maybe make sure pull-ups are out of sight for play dates - but I have to say I never did. I don't think kids would necessarily make the connection and in any case some of them will certainly be the same and/or have siblings and be used to pull=ups and nappies lying around the house.

I wondered about the whole school starting thing. I reckon it will go one of 2 ways - they will either be so full of their grown up we're at big school ways thay will decide to train and it will happen in a term, or they will feel bit lost and retreat and training might even go back a few months with their little stresses.

Our babies!! I'll be leading the thread for mamma support when the dc's start school!!

I think the thing that gets me is that the other 2 kids cracked it without an issue and feel I might have done something wrong . Then when I think about it she was late to smile, late to crawl and late to walk but now those just aren't issues because she's fine - just not in a hurry ! I think there is subtle pressure for your kids to keep up the pace but I hope its just a 3rd child thing - meaning we are quite chilled about most things now and aren't pushy with her.

There will be LOTS of them still in nappies at night in Reception. It's one of those things people don't talk about unless you broach the subject with them! I made a point of mentioning ds still being in nappies whevever I could - and the number pf people who said "Oh, my lo too - what a relief!"

DS will be 4 in May. He still wears a nappy at night and at nap time. It hasn't even occurred to me to think about worrying about it.