Bed wetting

[Madmentalbint]

My youngest DC is 7 and is still in nappies at night. I don't mind at all but I know it bothers her. She always makes sure I hide her nappies if she has friends to play and if the doorbell rings when she's ready for bed she races off to remove her nappy. I did ask the GP about it, about 6 months ago, and he basically told me to go away because it was completely normal. He did suggest a star chart but I didn't want to go down that route because I really don't think she can control it.

We have tried going without nappies, and lifting her when we go to bed but she still wets about 4am. In the mornings her nappies are extremely full and often leak so I don't think she's anywhere near ready.

The problem is she's just started Brownies and has been invited on a pack holiday for a weekend. She doesn't want to go if she's in nappies, understandably, even though I've assured her the nappy thing could be dealt with dicreetly. She turned down an invite to a sleepover this week too. I just don't want her to miss out on things because she isn't dry at night.

Any advice would be great please - thanks

Bumping for you.

Hi Mad,

My DD was still bedwetting and using drinites at 7. While this is not unusual, 7 is the age at which you ought to be able to get a referral to a specialist nurse (I forget the exact terminology now). Be pushy with your GP - it's starting to impact your DD. If he won't, try the health visitors - that's how I got our referral, I rang them just asking for advice on how to deal with it and instead we got referred!

You need proper professional help. Star charts may come into it, but doing that yourself is unlikely to be enough. There may be physical issues - in my DDs case, a quite simple one, that she had never drunk enough and so her bladder was only about half as big as it should be. The treatment was mainly to get her to drink loads during the day, coupled with positive thinking exercises at bedtime.

Good luck!

I presume you keep her liquid intake to a minimum for a couple of hours before bedtime and make sure she has a good wee before bed?

Some say you should make them drink lots at other times so that they get used to having a full bladder and having to 'hold on'.

I don't think lifting helps in the long term as the bladder never gets trained in holding on and then the body thinks it is ok to wee when half asleep rather than having to wake up first to get to the loo, iyswim.

I know a couple of children this age still in night nappies (and they are the ones who admit to it), so pretty normal.

For the Brownie trip, could you collect her in the evening and then take her back the next morning?

I asked my HV about this when my dd was 5 - she said this was very common and even up to aged 10 there will be one or two in a class not out of night nappies

Like Grimma says my HV advised not to worry til aged 7 when you should be able to get referred to a specialist clinic

Hi MMB, I could have written your post word for word 18m - 2yrs ago when dd was 7 and still hadn't had a single dry night at all. We were referred by the GP to an eneuresis (SP?) nurse, who lent us a bed wetting alarm. We also had a star chart but for drinking during the day NOT for staying dry at night. Four weeks later, only a couple of wet nights, four months later only very occasionally wet.

Good support on the ERIC.org website.

Good luck

Thank you so much for your help (and the bump Puzzlerocks )

Grimma, it is interesting that you've mentioned your DD not drinking enough in the day as I know my DD doesn't. Also, thinking back to last winter, I remember getting my daughter undressed at the end of the day and she was still neatly tucked in (vest and shirt in her tights) so I realised she hadn't been for a wee all day. She said she hadn't needed to go!

Desperatehouswifetoo, I do try to limit drinks too late into the evening but I'm always a bit torn because she doesn't drink enough as it is. And yes, I could pick her up and take her each day for the Brownie trip, good idea, I'll speak to the pack leader about it.

Thanks scarletibis, hopefully my HV will refer us too if need be.

Itsthawooluff, thats great news about your DD. My GP said if DD still wasn't dry in 24 months or so that she could have treatment involving Anti-diuretic hormones, which I didn't really like the sound of, so it's great your DD has managed without taking any drugs. Thanks for the link too, I'll check it out now.

I'm going to try encouraging her to drink more in the day for 4 weeks and if there is no improvement I'll go and see my HV. I wish I'd seen her in the first place now as I'm sure she would have been more helpful than my GP.

Thanks again

I'm just trying to remember.. I think DD had
to have 200ml (ie glassful) at breakfast, 800ml while at school (yes, a nearly full BIG bottle!) and another couple of glassfuls after school but not within an hour of bedtime.

Which is a lot so do get proper assessment first. If your DD is like mine you do NOT need drugs and that should not be the first line of treatment.

eneuresis is the term I couldn't remember (its wonderful how you can put all this behind you!), and ERIC is def worth looking at. Have a read-up there before you next try your GP so you're well-informed and don't get fobbed off.

Thanks Grimma
Currently DD has a small drink at breakfast time (I sometimes struggle to get her to drink anything if she has cereal with milk on). I send a small bottle of water in her lunchbox which quite often comes back full. After school she'll have a drink or two but not very much.

The ERIC website looks great. I was a bit fed up after seeing the GP as he made me feel like I was being unreasonable, so it's good to know it's not too soon to look into improving things for DD. I'm going to call the helpline tomorrow. Thaks again.

Oh yes, she does take a small bottle for the classroom too, but that is usually pretty full when it comes home too.

sounds very familiar... and I knew DD didn't drink enough and nagged her but the bottles still came home full. Until the nurse told her how much she must drink, and why - and the nurse would be checking the colour of her wee and the drinks chart, not me.

That's one of the reasons I recommend getting professional help - then its not just you nagging.

Also... don't know if this applies to your DD but I think mine was worried about drinking during the day at school because of them being discouraged from going to the loo except at breaks. You may want to have a word with her teacher if this might be a factor.

Hmmm....good thinking.

Well yesterday and today she has taken extra water to school (3x250ml) and has been drinking before and after school as well. I don't mind giving this a go without professional help because I know she should be drinking more anyway. Also I explained to her the reasons behind it and she was very keen to give it a go. I will be sure to see the HV soon though if things don't improve.

DD has also been doing the exercises suggested on the ERIC website - looking in the mirror and saying "I am the boss of my bladder" and "I want to be dry tonight". Last night she was brushing her teeth and I could hear her saying the sentences to herself over and over

We haven't tried going without nappies yet, as I want her to just drink more for now and not feel under any pressure, but already they are certainly much drier than before. Usually they are really heavy and fit to burst by morning but the last two days they've been just damp. I think we could be on the right track Thanks

That's really positive news. Hopefully it will help encourage your dd to keep on drinking

In every class of 11 yr olds, there is statistically one child who is not yet dry at night. At 7, quite a few more per class. If you approached her pack leader about it, she would almost certainly not be at all phased.

None of my children was dry at night until at least that age, and no amount of star charts rewards etc made any difference. They all grew out of it in the same year, aged 6, 8 and 10, the year we spent in Canada. I still to this day do not know why then and not before, but was just mighty relieved not to be washing three sets of sheets every day.

Thanks Duchesse, those figures are reassuring

DD has been doing well with the drinking but had an accident yesterday which she hasn't done for years! She's had a few near accidents too. It's like she doesn't realise she needs to go until it's almost too late. I was worried the accident might have dented her confidence and made her worry about drinking but she's still very keen. I'm going to contact the HV today to make sure I'm on the right track. Thanks

school nurses run bedwetting clinics (employed by primary care trust and cover number schools in area).

you will need to be prepared to take child out of nappies before attending clinic.

some useful tips:

1. ensure drinking 1500-2000mls a day restricitng fluids does not help the bladder needs to be stretched to full capacity during the day so it is able to hold a larger amount of fluid at night.

1. cut out drinks that irritate the bladder such as fizyy drinks, blackcurrant, tea, coffee.

1. double void at bedtime - toilet, clean teeth and toilet.

1. dont lift them to go to toliet when you go to bed unless the child is fully awake, can hold a conversation they remember the next day otherwise all you are encouraging is weeing whilst asleep.

Alarms should only be given out when a full assessment of a child has been done and the above is being done.

the website eric will be of some use to.

my ds is 12 and is on desmopressin desmomelts on repeat prescription and has been for about 2 years now and still wets the bed, He has for the last two nights but before that I was thinking that he's done really well for months. He didn't take any for months until 3 nights ago because he had a sleepover Is it psychosomatic or Maybe it's emotional with him. Oh dear I didn't stop until I was in secondary school so maybe it's in the family. poor kid.