OCD type behaviour - tell me how to handle this please.

[MrsRobinsonComplex]

Dd1 is nearly 4 and has started to display some strange behaviour which I think is sort of like an OCD thing.
She will wash her hands but then spend ages drying them on a towel. She repeatedly rubs them till they are red and they are getting very sore.
I wanted to watch her today (to check if she was still doing it) and she went mad. She wanted to close the door and told me she didn't want me to see her dry her hands .
I inisisted and so she did the whole drying routine with a scowl on her face. Even with me saying 'That's enough now, they're dry' she still continued.
When I took the towel off her she started to cry and said her hands weren't dry and then she told me she hadn't washed them at all so would have to do it now
She's started to avoid going to the toilet and will say she doesn't want to wash her hands even when I make her go to the loo. It's as if she doesn't want to start the drying routine but once she has, she can't stop herself.
I really son't know the best way to handle this. I don't want to shout if this will just make things worse. I don't want to ignore it if it will just let this behaviour develop.
I have OCD tendancies myself (never diagnosed, refuse to see Dr ) and know how dibilatating this can be. I don't want this for my little girl. She is getting increasingly distressed about all this.

Sorry, that's ended up being really long. Any help would be gratefully received!

I think it's not terribly unusual to see some obsessive behaviour in pre-school children, but if it's making her unhappy and anxious then I would suggest making an appointment with a GP. It may that the GP can refer to the Child and Family Therapy team to help you all manage the behaviours.

Hope things improve for you all

Dd2 had/has a very similar problem, but with her it is an obsession with washing her hands not drying.

Hers started when she was about 3/4, and got to the point where she would have to wash her hands if she had just touched the toilet but not actually used it, if she'd touched anyone else who had recently been to the toilet or if she for any reason thought there were germs on her hands.

She tried to be secretive about it, but i'd constantly catch her washing her hands for on good reason, and if I stopped her then all hell broke lose. We once stopped at a loo on a motorway and there was no soap for dd to wash her hands. She screamed non stop for an hour in the car.

I was at a complete loss as to what I should do. I mean logically, dd was right in that she'd wash her hands after using the toilet etc, but she'd talen it way too far. I was unsure if I should just let her do it, ignore it or stop her.

She was reffered to a psych who tbh was pretty rubbish but insisted that I must stop dd from washing her hands unless she had actually been to the toilet and done something on it. I was told I had to physically stop her if needs be, and I did have to, infact it wasn't unheard of for me to sit on her to stop her washing them.

After a while dd did start to get better, but it has never completely gone away. She still washes her hands like a surgeon getting ready to go into theatre and when she is stressed it does briefly flare up again and I have to remind her of the rules, and you can see she hates me for that.

I would suggest that you speak to your gp and ask for a referal to a psych, even if just for advice on how to manage it.

It is hard to deal with but I would say for you to try and be quite matter of fact with it all, and try not to get upset or anxious yourself as she will pick up on that and it may make it worse.

Good luck

Thank you sidge
I just worry that my reaction will be wrong and I'll make it a bigger problem than it is iyswim.
Do you think It will get worse if I leave it for a week to see how it develops?

Thank you IB, I'm sorry to hear your Dd has suffered / is suffering with this.
I really know what you mean about the meltdown when you stop the behaviour. She went absolutely mad on me.
I find it so very upsetting and it's difficult not to show it but I can see that doing so wouldn't be a good thing.
Yes, some advice on how to handle it from a professional would be good. Will have to float the idea with DH and see what he says.
Ever had one of those months when you feel like you're living at the doctors?!

You could leave it for a week and make a few notes about it for when you do go to see the gp. I don't know about you, but I get all flustered when I am in there and forget half of what I want to say.

Just make a note of when she does it, how long she does it for, her reaction if you try and stop her etc.

I had absolutly no idea what I should do with dd and was relieved to eventually have someone tell me how to react to it.

The diary is a great idea!
Yes, like you I clam up when asked 'What can I do for you?'
It would be good evidence too.
Thank you!

Do your OCD tendencies involve washing/drying hands. I watched a programme on TV about OCD, a mother's OCD was bringing out similar problems in her child - copying, picking up on mum's anxieties etc.

No, mine are all involved with counting the number of times I do things and repeat checking. Never had a hand wash thing. Can't help but think that my general issues have affected her though