Pinning ears back: can you tell me your experince of it?

[FrogPrincess]

DD is 9 and a half years old. She is a gorgeous girl (of course), but she has finally noticed that her ears stick out (particularly her right ear).
They're a lovely 'normal' shape but they're not flat against her head, that's all. Some girls at school have told her that she has big ears and she now feels extremely self-conscious about it (won't wear her hair up, will only do hairstyles that keep her ears covered).
I have spoken to her about it and told her we all find things about our body that we don't like, that she is a beautiful girl regardless, etc etc etc. She understands all this but she still feels terrible about her ears.
Now I know she could have an operation to pin her ears back, but I am reluctant to make her go through this, for various reasons: I don't want to send out the message that you can fix any little physical 'dislike' through surgery, and that only a perfect body is worth loving. I am also worried about the operation and side effects and stuff going wrong afterwards.
However I do not want her to feel miserable about something that can be fixed.
I would love to hear your stories about this, be they about you or your children. I want to make the right decision for her.

all 3 of my kids have inherited their fathers ears! of course, i think my kids are beautiful, but there is no getting away from the fact that as they get older their confidence takes a bashing by other kids making comments or being nasty and also they begin to notice them more as they hit the teen years. I asked my husband would he have had them pinned back if he had the choice as a child and he said ' definately'. So this year the 2 oldest ones (14 & 11) both had the op done. the surgeon reccomended they have it done in the school holidays, so thats what we did. post operatively they did have pain/discomfort for about a week but IMO they were old enough to understand why they had it and that it would not last forever, which IMO a young child wouldn't. they knew they had to have pain killers round the clock for 2-3 days so again this was not an issue. They are both really pleased with the results and said to tell other MNers that you should let your child 'go fot it if thats what they want'.

Not read the other posts. I had mine done under general anaesthetic. I can honestly say I had no problems what so ever. No pain. Massive bandage thought and my mum sent me over the local shops .
I would let my dc have it done if they needed to and wanted to.
Good luck.

milkybars - did your kids stay awake for the surgery?

I am starting to wonder why mine did and am thinking of writing to the Consultant to ask the reasons....he had no sedation either.

thank you milkybar and leoleo, I think after Christmas we will look into this seriously as dd is very very keen!!

Hi sn3, no way was it even considered that they would be awake during surgery, especially as it took 1.5hrs to do. They were both done under a general as it must be quite disconcerting have someone pulling and cutting at your ear whilst being awake .
Frogprincess;- if you do go ahead with it try and time it for school holidays such as a day or 2 before the 2 week april one or the 6 week summer holiday as there is a considerable amount of bandaging and they would feel embarrassed going out with it on. think egyption mummy style then you're on the right wave length.

p.s. its usually a day surgery case, but if you work like I do allow for several trips to the hospital for removal of bandages etc shortly after the op. I had to book 2 weeks off from work for this. Of course its not a major problem but something worth thinking about if you only get 4 weeks leave.

Thanks milkybars, I am definitely going to write to the hospital (was actually Birmingham Children's Hospital) and see their reason for keeping him awake. He too was in theatre for almost 2 hours.

He's such a brave little one and I stayed with him while he had his ears anaesthetised, the blood was running down his neck and I was almost in tears myself but he was lay there looking terrified.

No sedation, nothing! And he didn't complain once!

He is so scared of anyone touching them now though, although he is very happy he had it done.

As I write this I am getting angry that they put my little lad through this

Thanks again milkybars, I'll keep that in mind.
Funnily enough yesterday she came home and said: 'I noticed loads of senior girls at school have ears that stick out! there was one girl who was beautiful with long wavy hair and when she tied it up to play hockey she had sticky out ears!'
So I said: 'Did you still think she was beautiful?'
Dd said 'yes'
She said she's going to wait a bit and see if she really wants the op.
I'm going to follow her lead for now......

Good luck sn3, I hope you get some answers.

Hi all, im a 21 year old girl and just had my ears pinned back yesterday. I would definately suggest having it done as young as possible, that is a big regret i have. Not only would i have been able to get it done on the NHS, it would have improved my quality of life and self confidence so much. i also believe that my ears are one of the main reasons for me developing depression at the age of 12. I had local anasthetic which was very painful injection wise and a daunting experience hearing scraping etc but i would not have liked to have had the general and there was the extra cost to consider with that! i now have the bandage on which is very tight, and my first nights sleep was very uncomfortable and i kept waking feeling sick but thankfully today the pain has lessened considerably with all the painkillers im on! its going to be a hard week hiding in my house and im sure this bandage will drive me insane but hopefully i will be pleased with the results. any questions please ask!

Thank you starla, I hope you're feeling better today, and I'm sorry you had such a hard time as a teenager. It is now very apparent to me that I must take dd's concerns very seriously indeed.
I wish you good luck starla, enjoy being home (chocolates, crap TV, etc...

Hi Starla - congrats on getting it done!

Now you've said how painful it is I can't believe even more that they did my 9 year olds under a local, why , why why?!!

Hi,
My DD2 is due to have this op soon. I am in fact waiting for the phone call.
She has very prominant ears and even at such a young age she is aware of them, asking me things like "can you see my ears through my hair mummy, i can feel them" it breaks my heart. She is such a lovely looking girl, i dont want her to feel self concious about her looks when i could help do something about it.
When i tell you her age, people i guess will be discusted? she is 4yrs old.
She has not asked for this op, due to her age, but she is aware.
Dont want her to suffer, would give my life for my 3 kids, through reading this blog, pain managment is high on my agenda.

Hi all

Just wanted to share the story of my daughter's op. She is 8 and had her ears done last December. A couple of boys at school had started calling her big ears which made her very aware of them and she is a sensitive soul and takes everything to heart. Both her dad and I have prominent ears although I got mine pinned back when I was 14 without any complications. When I told her she could have an op to get them fixed she begged me to take her to the docs. Unfortunately, the op didn't go well. I knew the minute her bandages came off that it hadn't worked. She has had 2 follow up appointments with the consultant and he has agreed they need to be done again. On one side the op actually went wrong. Instead of having a natural curve the cartilage completely folded in on itself! It is aparently very rare for that to happen and thankfully it can be fixed. I just can't believe she will have to go through it all again. To make matters worse another boy in her year just got his done and his are perfect now! She is being so brave about it but I know how much she is dreading the pain and the itching of the bandage which drove her mad. I did tell her that she didn't have to get it done again if she didn't want and that she is beautiful the way she is but she is desperate to get them fixed. All we can do is hope that the result is good this time. I wondered if anyone else had experience the cartilage folding on itself and had to have it corrected?

Thought I'd revive this old thread as it was immensely helpful to me and the op has now taken place.

abdnmum, I'm sorry to hear about your dd's bad experience, has she had another op?

My dd finally had her op about 5 weeks ago, and it went really well. She had it on a Friday morning, was home in the afternoon, in a little pain, but only took painkillers twice I think. The bandage was taken off on the Monday, and she was back at school on the wednesday! I was astonished at how well she coped with it all, and so were her teachers.

It has healed well, and looks good, so she wears her hair up proudly now . She is still off sports, and wears a rugby head band at night (for the next few weeks, to be on the safe side). The surgeon said he doesn't need to see us again (we had a post op visit last monday).

We're delighted it's been done as she is so happy about it, and it went so well, so thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread, you all helped

Glad the op went well, I think a lot about the success of this op is what surgeon you get. I am now facing the same problem with a 10 year old girl, although we would consider the op I was wondering if anyone had heard anything else regarding the EAR SCAFFOLDS, as for me, this would be a much better solution. I have done research on the net and it seems to be a work in progress not sure if it is ready yet, I have also looked in to the Auri-Clip although once again not many results pictures on this. Could anyone give any advice or experience. Thanks

Interesting to see this thread. I'm glad it has worked out well.

DD (8) has ears that stick out. One more than the other. A couple of people have pointed it out to me . I have never made any comment about it as I dont want any paranoia developing, however DD asked me yesterday why her ears stuck out and said she didnt like it. I sometimes see her adjusting her hair to hide it, although has not seemed particularly worried until her comments yesterday.

I explained that we all have bits of our bodies that we dont like - some people have big noses, black hair instead of blonde etc etc. She seemed happy with that.

Do I just leave it and see how things progress?

I had my ears pinned back when I was six, I think, quite young.
I remember being hospital for a week, this was in 1980.
I had to have it done in Chepstow, but we lived in Cardiff at the time.
I don't remember much about it now to be honest.
One of my ears was worse than the other and I had very fine hair so the top stuck out. A few children called me dumbo, but I don't think it upset me too much.
I remember the GA, counting back etc and not wanting to have it done.
They gave me a needle phobia which I still have to this day!
I remember having the bandage "turban" on for a week and them taking it off in front of a mirror.
I was sad at my mum at the time for making me have it done, but it's been fantastic and I felt so far away from everybody.

I'm so glad my mum had it done before I realised that there was a problem. I don't think about it much, it was 30 years ago. My ears are perfect!
My boys have my ears too although not as bad!

My surgeon did, I'm sure he's died by now, fix children with cleft palates in Romania for a while too.
Prof Green!