My ds is overeating.

[CuddlyToy]

My ds does not seem to have an 'off' button. For example, this evening I cooked us a large plate of pasta and corned beef hash. We had the same size plate of food but I was struggling to finish mine. At the end he informed me that he was 'still hungry'. I said I didn't think he could be as I was full up so surely he must be too. It can be very hard to say no but I do try to find a balance - fruit or a lowfat yogurt for pudding if he pushes it.

He is 9 and tall for his age but not particularly having a growth spurt - he has always been like this.
I try making him eat slower and drinking water while eating but cannot break the cycle. We eat fairly healthily and I limit his sweets/crisps intake so it is just a treat or special occasion. I don't think he feels deprived as he loves fruit which I am happy for him to eat. He is not massively overweight but is at the outside edge of his healthy centile.

My mother is a part of the problem. She deals with it by making fun of him. Recently whilst she was visiting he went downstairs for breakfast and she must have already been eating as I heard her say 'oh it's the see-food diet eh?' She called him 'Piggy' which I fell out with her about once but she still does it and makes 'oink' and squeal noises.

I am disgusted by her behaviour and have asked her to stop as she is going to give him a complex. I know I need to put my foot down on this but she is very controlling and manipulative and has spent a lifetime undermining me in this way so trying to stand up to her (although I know I must for my ds) is really difficult.

Another part of the problem is his father. He is massively overweight and the diet consists of McDonalds, KFC, Chippy and all kinds of crisps and chocolate. He is even trying to get ds to drink fizzy pop despite ds not liking it. when ds stays with his Dad he piles weight on - in one week he put on 3kg which is a lot even for an adult nevermind an 8 yr old. I cannot get him to make any changes whatsoever.

So basically, I need to ask if anyone can advise me on helping ds with his appetite. Should I speak to his Dr even though he is not obese at the moment?

The issue with my mother is not irrelevant, I know what to do about her but if anyone wants to put in their twopenneth that might be useful.

Bump?

Anyone?

bumping for you

Having suffered form an eating disorder myself which is largely down to my father's attitude to food/weight, I would suggest you try very very hard not to make too much of an issue with food and weight with him.

If he has a healthy diet at home (which it sounds he does) and you are working to help him to moderate his own portion sizes, then I think you should try not to worry about his eating at home. Does he do any exercise? I would suggest you focus on that rather than the food, then any excess can be worked off by exercise.

What you do need to address are your mother and ds' father as they seem to be really negative influences which could prevent your ds having a healthy relationship with food.

does he do lots of exercise?

Also - he may have learnt from his father that you use food to deal with emotional problems - ie if you feel bad then you eat.

Maybe it would help to teach him other ways to deal with his emotions? Eg, talking, exercising, smashing fist into pillow etc etc

I agree with ILA.

I agree with ILA.

Good point Iloveautumn, I am conscious of not making too much of an issue out of it but I do worry for him.

I am working on my mother - need to put my foot down with her but ds' father just will not take on board what I'm saying.

I suppose he doesn't do a lot of exercise. That is something I can address.

It must be really worrying for you .

The thing is that making a big deal out of it is more likely to make it worse - esp if he is using food as a comfort. Do you think that is part of it?
Does he do any out of school activities like Scouts or martial arts? They may help him to be more active and also to channel his feelings somewhere?

Good luck

Oh I hadn't thought about an emotional trigger to turn to food.

I suppose I should try dropping it into the conversation next time I am feeling annoyed, to let him know how I would deal with it.

Thanks for the replies.

He used to go to cubs and swimming lessons but I had to stop it as I can't afford it atm. He has been asking about karate lessons so as soon as I have the funds I will get him going.

I have just started a detox myself and am trying to get into running - I think I need to get us both motivated to do that after school.

would definitely support the karate - but be careful when you check who's running it. You want a good, strong (slim!) male role model. You don't want the kind of bloke who uses humiliation to force them on

Oh yes, strong, slim eye candy male role model...vital.