22 month old showing possible autism signs, looking for experiences and advice

[Dadcares]

Hi All,

Let me start of by saying I've been trawling through the forums ever since we found out my wife was pregnant with our first child, nearly 3 years ago. It was a dream come true for us and we're absolutely in love with our DS. And now I've finally plucked up the courage to open up an account.

This forum has been super helpful, even for us dads who are trying to help support our other half as well as trying to be as involved as we can be with our children - so some of the advice offered here has been super useful for me in particular.

However, we've noticed some traits with our child that does seem to indicate he may have autism. My wife has struggled to process this may be the case and I am doing a lot of research on top of my extremely busy work schedule. I want to to clarify that he has yet to be seen by a Peadatrician, nor has he had his hearing tested (this will be next month). He is also 22 months, but we want to tackle this as soon as possible so any help we can provide - we can do so as early as possible.

The slight issue at the moment is the slow moving NHS appointments, I've already raised with the GP and in the past DS has had other problems such as Eczema, Asthma and the quality of care hasn't been great. It's only when we took him into a&e after a chest infection did they move quickly.

Back to the signs of autism - at 22 months there are some typical milestones children hit but apart from crawling, walking this is what I have noticed so far:

• DS isn't saying any words at the moment - just baby language
• Limited gesturing like clapping (when happy/excited) but no waving or pointing
• Doesn't 'play' with toys, rather checks them out mechanically - i.e. spinning wheels of a car rather than pretend driving
• Rarely responds to his name
• Rarely have eye-contact but does if you push him to
• Does smile back if you smile at him
• Is now starting to line up toys
• Zones out, looks into space
• Enjoys screen time (when given), is engrossed but sometimes does follow instructions on screen (i.e. Ms. Rachel)
• Is quite passive - limited temper/not really tantrums at the moment
• Very chilled when driving him, or pushing him in his buggy
• Doesn't want to show us anything he's playing with or bring us anything (he used to bring a book) - although today he brought over his teddy to me and smiled when he took it to me (made eye contact too)
• Will sometimes pick food, but mainly is fed
• Sometimes he likes to spin but isn't so consistent anymore
• Hates nursery, cries every morning we take him in but then slowly settles after a nap - only 2 months since he started though

I would like to hear from mums/parents above if they've had a DC that has gone through something similar and a) they were diagnosed with Autism b) it was a developmental delay c) if it was a combination of both and other things.

I don't expect anyone to diagnose DS, but it would be good to hear stories based on experience and if my hunch is true that my DS does have Autism and we just need to go through the process now of setting up and receiving support for him.

Support. Stories. Advice. How this Dad can help DS - are all welcome :)

Thank you

Well my son had similar traits at that age and is autistic but equally they could just be perfectly normal for your child without there being ND. We found our health visitor the best and she did all his referrals. You should be due his 2 year check up soon, as I raised concerns (we also have older autistic children) she made sure this was done just as he turned 2

My son did a lot of that, but isn't autistic. He did, however, have mild to moderate hearing loss (described to us as he can hear when someone is directly in front of him, talking to him, in a quiet room - so basically he couldn't hear in most situations) caused by glue ear. We were surprised but it explained the speech delay and not always responding. He was, and still is, fascinated with how things work. The first time he played with a pram he chucked the dolly on the floor and turned it upside down to check the wheels. He's now five and plays beautifully with other kids and I have no concerns at all about him. Basically, it might be autism, but I'd try and bring the hearing test forward or go private if you can as without that sorted you are at a bit of a crossroads.

You sound super intense - stop scrolling the forums!
No screen time before 3yo is advised where we live…
spinning and exploring toys is playing.
Everyone is different- at this point it doesn’t matter one jot where your child sits on the spectrum of human life. Just let them develop and enjoy watching their personality come through! I expect your wife has enough to worry about without adding your suspicions and research results to her mental load!!
Enjoy your child, step away from the screens. Xo

Some of those traits were the same as my son at that age, such as the lack of pointing or waving, lack of joint attention, interest in things that spin, slow to talk. He is 7 now and has an autism diagnosis. He is verbal and attends mainstream, and is doing really well at school with adjustments in place for him.

I very much took the attitude of “he is who he is, if he’s autistic I’d rather have a diagnosis to get him well supported.” I’ve learnt to celebrate his achievements, which look a bit different to other kids, but they are achievements nonetheless and I am so proud of him. He has amazing strengths - he doesn’t judge others and will befriend kids in the playground that others ignore/see as different; his attention to detail and memory is incredible; what he doesn’t know about steam trains isn’t worth knowing. He finds a lot of things challenging, like change (even weather changing, or having a wobbly tooth), things breaking, or not going to plan; he relies on routine to feel safe.

I’m afraid the NHS system is hard but you just have to push, push, push and not take no for an answer. He had SALT and OT input which was helpful in his speech acquisition and diagnosing his hyper mobility too. There are lots of great resources online - you can find SALT suggestions for the stage he’s at on NHS salt pages for example.

Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it sounds really tough and I know how you feel. My son was very similar, he was diagnosed with glue ear, which resolved itself. He was also diagnosed with autism at 3, at 4.5 he’s non verbal, he did have the odd word at 2, but had a regression and they went. All the best OP.

My son was similar and diagnosed age 4. However life now is so much better than it was at your age. He’s at a mainstream school, can read, write and is brilliant at maths.

What do your nursery think? Ours were instrumental in getting a diagnosis and navigating the NHS systems

Edited To add that he’s 6 now

I have a qualification in autism awareness and while I'm no professional it dose sound like he could be autistic. As you probably know by your research that those traits mentioned are autistic traits. My son wasnt diagnosed till he was about 8. No one would listen to me. It wasnt till I got my qualification and told them I had that qualification that I was listened too. I also noticed some of the traits in myself. And was diagnosed last year. Autism and ADHD can be genetic, so its worth thinking about if you've noticed you or your wife having some traits. Its important to add that traits can be differently presented in everyone and females are harder to diagnosed. Whilst the NHS has a long waiting list for diagnosis it might be worth just keeping a journal of anything you think might be helpful for when he has his assessment.

Thank you all, the advice has been super helpful. We are having conversations with the HV, Nursery and GP and pushing from every angle we can. He has a hearing test next month so that would give us an indication on where we are.

Thank you. How was it for you for the first time? I guess you’ve been through it a few times so know the processes, how to get appointments etc. it’s all a minefield for me

Thank you for this. Would you say he regressed at any point? I feel like my child
is doing things now that I wasn’t expecting - but we keep being told he’s still young. At what age did your child start talking? Yes, we have a hearing test booked next month.

With the youngest it was surprising easy. HV referred us to a paediatrician, had a few appointments with him and he got preschool to fill out some observation forms, organised an appointment with SALT and then he was diagnosed with.
with the older ones it was a much longer drawn out process, they were older at the time of referral and less noticeably autistic.

No, I wouldn't say he regressed. Just very little speech and no babbling. Started to get a few words (literally a handful) at 2.5 (already under SALT by this point) and then no more really for six months. Around three his speech came on a lot and by 4.5 he had caught up. But we can now spot a seasonal pattern which ties in with the glue ear as winter colds made his hearing a lot worse. He still has a bit of glue ear but it's cleared a lot and he can now tell us when he can't hear well which is a big help. He's still very interested in how things work and will lie on the floor playing trains and watching the wheels move for hours. We are an engineering family though!

We knew my son was autistic from about 18 months and he was diagnosed at 2 so it does happen.

at this age he was very passive, smiley but didn’t follow development milestones. He is very strong willed now but was super chill as a little one.

the thing is…. They talk about early intervention but my experience is…. There is no funding for services and you still have to fight constantly for support, for the EHCP, for DLA, to get the specialist place. It’s a hard slog really.

there’s no harm educating yourself but you might have a long road ahead.

I should have mentioned the hearing test was inconclusive for us as my son couldn’t do what was asked.

he has a learning disability and is still non speaking at 7.

My daughter was similar in terms of speech development- we saw a NHS speech therapist infrequently and a private SALT. Initially diagnosed with a severe speech disorder. She went to a speech and language resourced provisional attached to a mainstream school. By the time she was 7 she'd caught up her peers mostly with speech and moved into mainstream education. Aged 10 diagnosed with Autism. Aged 14 very academic, one close friend and mostly enjoys school. It's key to get early help with speech development otherwise school is very challenging. He might be Autistic or could just be speech delay. Either way he will develop rapidly when his time is right.

He sounds very similar to my son at that age and while we’re still waiting for diagnosis he is 100% autistic. I remember just knowing in my gut that he was. He’s also a gestalt language processor so learns speech in chunks rather than single words, however I found Yakka Dee on CBeebies great for his first words! I know people like to demonise telly but for my son it’s hugely helped unlock language (and of course we do so much with him as well!)

it’s hard to know at this age but it’s good you’re aware of things and keeping note OP. It goes without saying my son is incredible and a lovely boy and yes he has his challenges but he has a phenomenal memory and has a great sense of humour. 🥰