Rights as daughters primary carer

[klc98]

My daughter’s father keeps demanding schedule changes at least once a month. She is 13 weeks old and he is planning to move county which I do not consent to her leaving Newcastle.

his mother is overly involved and said he is depressed everyday and that “they as a family” take care of her when it is his sole responsibility as a father not his parents.
he has a history of drug use and previous criminal charges in relation to this.
do I have the legal right to pause visits until mediation as he wants set days but doesn’t agree to what I come up with. I fear this will highly impact her health and development and make her anxious due to being away from me overnight for 2 nights which I don’t consent to

Are you BF?

You cannot stop him moving out of the county but she is way too young to be away from you for too long.

When is the mediation appointment?

Refuse any more visits unless it is in a contact centre.
You should be able to set this up without having to go to court etc.

Your reasons are all of the things you’ve listed - drug dealing, vandalism etc - you do not trust him/his family and as she’s so young you just want to make sure she’s safe.

Any court/mediation will see that you are not fully stopping contact, you just want it in a safe setting on set days and times.

We are not together - we never have been.
I’m nit stopping him from moving out of the county. I don’t want my daughter taken that far away from me for that length of time. He does not understand she is too young to be that far away for that long without me.

o have all the evidence I believe I need. I’m waiting for a callback today from a family law solicitor and mediation to see where I stand from a legal standpoint in regards to temporarily pausing visits due to his lack of communication and prioritising his dislike for me over our child’s routine as he expects me to work around his work schedule and the fact he keeps throwing the fact he works and I’m on maternity leave in my face

He wants, he wants. It isn’t about what he wants. Your job is to make sure that your child gets what she needs. That’s it.

He’s been told today that the current arrangements is what’s best for our daughter and that they won’t be changing

I agree with others here - you have chosen to have a chiold with a convicted drug dealer. You knew from early on that he didn't want a baby and was verbally abusive. You actively chose to bring a baby into this situation, and now your tiny daughter is suffering the consequences. Of course you shouldn't let him see her, let him take you to court. If there's one thing that Mumsnet has taught me, it's that women should choose the fathers of their children so so carefully. What a mess.

Are you breastfeeding at all? Or fully formula?

if you’re bf you have an argument that the baby cannot be away from you, and no court would force you to stop so he can have her.

This wasn’t planned at all

And that's what I mean - children should be planned, carefully, because the impact on kids of being born to a parent who doesn't want them, and is abusive, is catastrophic.

I’m nothing like her father, I’ve always wanted kids. I knew I was keeping her from day one regardless if he wanted to be involved or not!

Strictly formula -
Health visitor has stated many times she is too young to be away from me over night at this age (13 weeks) I’ve told him this and he just keeps wanting overnights because “other mothers that he’s spoke to let their children stay overnight with their dads” - sorry but those children aren’t 13weeks old they’re old enough to not need night feeds. He doesn’t listen to me or his parents regarding this. He thinks it’s what’s best for him when it’s not about what he wants.