DD3 constantly says she is hungry but refuses every option

[LegoVsFoot]

At my wits end!

DD3 constantly says she is hungry but refuses all food! Refuses to eat meals, says no to every snack, just says 'open the fridge, let me see' - then doesn't want anything. Then says 'I'm hungry' again!

She doesn't eat at nursery either. They suggested all kinds of options which I then provided, and still nothing.

When I say 'this is the food, eat it or stay hungry' she will refuse and say she's not hungry anymore, and stop herself when she goes to say it again in 30 seconds.

So far today she had cornflakes with milk for breakfast, didn't touch lunch at nursery, and didn't have dinner - so had a yoghurt, a single bite of an apple, and a single bite of a biscuit. Is shouting that she's hungry and asking to see inside the fridge for the millionth time, rinse and repeat.

What do I do..?

Is this a recent thing or has she always been like this? Are there any major changes in her life (moving house, starting nursery) which tie in? Any health issues?

If none of that gives you an idea, I'd call her health visitor and ask. If s/he is useless, take to GP if that's a typical day's food you describe. Especially if she is losing weight.

Sounds more like attention seeking than hunger

breakfast is this, dinner is this. No deviation and no bargaining.
Ignore it.

No life changes. She has always been on the picky side but I could reliably get her to eat a few things - but now those aren't working anymore and there's not one thing that I know she will eat. Not even sweets, crisps etc. I'd say it has gotten worse around the last month/few weeks. I don't want to spend hours suggesting foods or standing with the cupboards open but it's very stressful when she will go hungry otherwise.

She has always been very small and slight but has healthy colour and good energy levels. We don't have a HV anymore - could try the GP

Yes could be the need for attention/connection rather than hunger if she's coming to ask for stuff but not wanting stuff.i would up the connection times,make sure your spending quality time with her see if that helps.if she comes to ask for food id sit her on your lap for full close cuddles and chat about what your cooking for tea or whatever from there,full talk and talk about anything until she pulls away?might be that?

This a toddler thing. They are sometimes totally bonkers. Maybe ask her, 'why are you not eating?' she may have some confused idea which you can diffuse. 'I can't eat b/c teddy is sad' or similar.

Sometimes, little ones need direction. Say to her: 'It's lunchtime; we're having xxx; please eat it so you won't be hungry later .. I won't be sad/Granny won't be angry, etc ...'
Keep offering the things she likes.

I have a DD who ate like a sparrow and regularly, suddenly refused things she'd happily eaten the day before. It's tough. She's now nearly 19 and absolutely remorseless about refusing food...

Does she havr milk? Mine is very similar but she still breastfeeds a bit so at least I know there is some nutrition there.
Have you weighed her? Might be a sensory thing but gp is a good idea.

Does she know the letters of her name? I had some success feeding DC who was developing significant food-anxiety issues, by cutting various foods into the letters of their name.

Foods that can be cut like this:
Bits of chicken, or the inside bits of quorn nuggets if you are veggie
Other cold sliced meats or meat-equivalents
Red or yellow peppers (green are a bit too bitter imo)
Slices of cheese
Bits of toast
Slices of apple.

Don't "cook meals" that are all different things mixed up. Put together a plate with a few different things on that are separate, don't persuade encourage or put pressure on her to eat but sit with her and eat something simple like a bit of toast yourself, while chatting to her - not leaving her alone while you do clearing/other cooking.

From your update it sounds like maybe you (and/or other family members) don't eat with her? If this is the case I would definitely start doing that. You could start by planning two weeks of simple meals with plates of separate foods, like sausage mash and peas, buttered bread ham and tomato, or boiled egg and toast. Ideally things she has sometimes eaten in the past so you know her taste buds don't physically object!
Everyone in the house eats the same thing, all together at the table if you have one (or something like a picnic blanket on the floor if not). Get her to sit down with you all, and she can eat if she wants to, no pressure.

Been through that with mine at toddler age. Possibilities are:

1. Boredom: Not knowing what to do and food is an easy ask. Suggest you do something together first even if it's "I need to finish the X can you do this to help"
2. Thirst: give a drink of water
3. Thinking they'll get a more fun "snack" than they would at a meal: make sure you're offering something boring and hold on treat foods for meals
4. Genuine hunger: have some fruit/salad/other healthy snack out in reach that she knows she can go to eat at any point. You can say it goes away half an hour before a meal if it starts being eaten instead of a meal, but not having to ask makes it easier.