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12-year-old always exhausted, mood changes and feeling unreal, puberty or illness?

31 replies

Receptive1 · 24/03/2026 23:42

I am worried about my 12.5-year-old son. I am not sure whether his symptoms are physical or psychological (or both). For the past few months I’ve been putting his snappy mood, “kevin and perry” like behaviour down to puberty, which he is fully in the midst of. But something hasn’t felt quite right and I’d like an opinion here from those who have experienced the teenage years. He says he feels exhausted all the time, no matter how much sleep he gets, and sometimes he is so tired that he can barely make it to lunch. He did not used to be like this. He plays football but seems to have lost interest recently which is a big change, and his play on the pitch has been declining, and he has been slower and less sharp. He is under no pressure to be “good” it’s just a marked decline.
At training the other night, he said the lights felt too bright, and he felt confused about whether what he was experiencing was real. It felt like he was describing depersonalisation. He has also mentioned that life feels boring and repetitive, with the same routine of school, home, and sleep. He has lots of friends, so I do not think it is a social issue, and his school reports have been good. He is mostly out and about at weekends with Friends and not holed up in his room, so I don’t understand his “it’s all just so boring, it’s the same everyday”
He occasionally notices floaters in his eyes, though his most recent eye exam was normal. Again, occcasional headaches but few and far between. Generally eats well and is a healthy BMI so nothing jumping out there.
Saw a GP who was very dismissive, probably didn’t help my son said “fine” to every question he was asked and she basically shrugged it off as welcome to your teenager. Which is fine if correct, but something feels off to me and I’m worried 😢

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Blocksfruity · 27/03/2026 14:50

This sounds just like my daughter. I suggest you get his eyes checked to make sure the floaters aren't anything serious. Our current theory is that my daughter has weird migraines that don't really fit the usual pattern. She tends to feel spaced out, unaware of where she is and unable to speak. Then the head pressure comes and she feels exhausted and really depressed. Occasionally she sees shimmers and black blobs but this is usually at the end of the process.

The other thing that springs to mind is possible burnout due to undiagnosed neurodiversity. Feeling like you aren't real and not being connected to reality can be the brains coping mechanism after masking for so long. Exhaustion and feeling generally unwell is a common symptom as well. I know Mumsnet likes to jump to autism for everything but seriously, my daughter has so many health issues and over the years and years of investigations we have come to realise they are often physical manifestations of autistic overwhelm.

Receptive1 · 27/03/2026 14:53

RecyclingSal · 27/03/2026 14:47

Well done for advocating for your son, OP. Just for a smidge of reassurance; my DS (same age as yours) has always had enlarged lymph nodes (groin / neck / everywhere) but I had never noticed - hopefully this is the same for your boy.

That’s so kind, thank you. He is so private now and I never see him naked etc so he could have had them for ages and I’ve just not known.

OP posts:
Receptive1 · 27/03/2026 14:56

Blocksfruity · 27/03/2026 14:50

This sounds just like my daughter. I suggest you get his eyes checked to make sure the floaters aren't anything serious. Our current theory is that my daughter has weird migraines that don't really fit the usual pattern. She tends to feel spaced out, unaware of where she is and unable to speak. Then the head pressure comes and she feels exhausted and really depressed. Occasionally she sees shimmers and black blobs but this is usually at the end of the process.

The other thing that springs to mind is possible burnout due to undiagnosed neurodiversity. Feeling like you aren't real and not being connected to reality can be the brains coping mechanism after masking for so long. Exhaustion and feeling generally unwell is a common symptom as well. I know Mumsnet likes to jump to autism for everything but seriously, my daughter has so many health issues and over the years and years of investigations we have come to realise they are often physical manifestations of autistic overwhelm.

Ah thats interesting- he does have autism. Funnily enough hes had a good 4 years of functioning so well I’ve almost sort of forgotten he has it, if that makes sense. But perhaps the stress of Starting high school has been harder than he or I have realised if that makes sense?
He had his annual eye check just a month ago (I’m incredibly short sighted so am always assiduous about their eye checks and they said they were fine. That’s really interesting about your daughter’s migraines not presenting in a text book way.

OP posts:
Blocksfruity · 27/03/2026 22:19

If he has new eye symptoms like floaters since his annual eye check then I suggest you take him back. Things can change quickly with eyes, and there are some neurological conditions that can affect sight too.

Vipingviper · 22/04/2026 21:39

The unreal feeling (along with the other symptoms ) fits the profile of some types of epileptic seizures, so worth asking about that if no other cause is found

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 22/04/2026 22:01

He sounds anaemic.

Does he eat okay?

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