Great Grandaughter will only eat one thing!

[WittyFawn]

Need advice please, my 5 year old great granddaughter will only eat 2 things for dinner at night; pizza or fish fingers, she won’t even eat many chips. Will eat cereal for breakfast and some sandwiches for school lunch etc but only 2 things for every dinner meal whether at home, at our home or goes out to eat. She is tall but skinny and seems ok health wise. Her parents and my daughter - her grandmother don’t seem worried about this. Just curious to see if any parents have had similar experiences and can tell me do they try
more foods as they get older? Her older brother eats a good variety of food.

My DD was a very picky eater for a while - basically other than breakfast cereal would only eat cheese sandwiches, crackers and cheese as anything resembling a main meal. Gradually we increased the range of plain foods with cheese (bread sticks, pasta of different shapes, different types of bread etc), always making sure there was a decent amount of cheese and not introducing anything new too quickly after the last new thing. Then added veg like peas or cucumber that could just be left if she didn't want it. Eventually she started to nibble it. I assume this is what your DGD will be doing because gradual exposure seems to be the standard advice for fussy eaters (where there isn't another concern like ARFID or autism / sensory issues). Doctors and nutritionists will generally tell you to not highlight the fussiness, that kids will generally grow out of it and making mealtimes stressful can make the problem worse.

OP it's not up to you to offer advice on this when her parents haven't asked for it, and you can't do much to improve her diet unless she regularly eats at your home.

Do you mean when at yours or it’s always like this at home?
and how do you know this for sure?

Also sometimes we give the shorter answer rather than explaining things e.g my DD likes soup but she wouldn’t like my mother’s soup, she wouldn’t eat it. So I wouldn’t tell my mum about soup option. The same with other things. My mum cooks very differently and none of her options will fit my DD so for simplicity I might say pizza or fish fingers - they will be the same as mine as they are shop bought.

There weren't kids menus when i was a child. I used to go to restaurants with my parents and sibs from when i was about 5 and ordered off the adult menu. There were things I wouldn't eat then, mainly cabbagey type stuff that I still don't like and cannot eat. I am the same about coconut but apart from the dessicated version on cakes and sweets, it was less common and easier to avoid.

I never really understand why parents expose their kids to processed food when they are tiny. It's just creating issues like this, just because you can't be bothered to nourish properly a child that you chose to bring into the world.

OMG yes. My aunt was a totally dreadful cook. As I got older I also learned that my uncle kept her short of money so when my mother and I went to lunch there, which wasn't often, the food was awful. My Mum, bless her, used to put a couple of arrowroot biscuits in a bag and explain that I was getting over an upset stomach and needed to just have plain food.

@godmum56 I can’t say that my mum is a bad cook but very different. Tbh I can’t eat most of things I ate in my childhood.
I noticed that small children prefer things done in a certain way.
So I wonder if it might be something like this in OP’s situation.

Thank you: this is the first time I have posted on here and will be my last, I realize now
the heading is misleading but I wasn’t expecting the barrage of abuse, just looking for some advice or reassurance that this is the case with children sometimes.

She eats. He diet is just limited. As long as she's taking multivitamins she should be fine.

My daughter is very limited. She wont eat vegetables. She'll only have 3 fruits. She prefers brown foods nuggets, fish fingers ect. I put veg on her plate everyday but she won't eat it. I don't make it a big deal. You can't force someone to eat something. If you try it's counterproductive,it just makes them have an issue with food and control.

My daughter was diagnosed with ARFID when she was 12. Despite having a huge array of food when she was a toddler, she only ended up eating beige food. It was extremely frustrating for me and we had many battles over it. Until I realised, that wasn't going to help.

She's 17 now and tried pesto for the first time last week. We dont push her to try anything, but she is starting to take and interest in other foods, asking what they taste like, how to cook them and has said she may try something new. It will take her weeks to build up to it, and we can't mention it all. But its progress that we are very happy with.

One of my children was like that when younger.

i did worry, I did try lots of approaches, none of it worked so I learned to live with it

He’s improved a lot in the teen years.

now I recognise he has adhd and arfid

My now almost 17 year old will only eat chicken or fish for tea, with waffles or in a cheese wrap.

He eats cereal, toast, sandwiches, sausage sandwiches or bacon for lunch.

I've make sure he eats yogurts and drinks fruit juices, I worry a lot but he is healthy.

My eldest went through this, but when she would eat only one food, it was only one food. We could get her to drink milkshakes or the occasional yoghurt with her one food, but eating sandwiches and cereal along with her chosen food would have been a dream.

She was weaned on a wide variety of fresh, home-cooked foods, but at around 4 or 5, she just stopped eating. She would fixate on one random food. The only time it really worried anyone medically (she was under a specialist for eating/weight) was when she would fixate on something like plain boiled carrots or sliced cucumber, which she would have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If she couldn't have her food, she would eat nothing. A few people told me not to offer her her chosen food and that she would eat when she was hungry, but she never did. Even sweets and desserts were refused at times when she was fixating.

Advice at the time was to offer her her chosen food with something, e.g., carrots, mash, and chicken or cucumber and dip, but not to force the issue or make a fuss if she did/did not eat the extras. We were also advised that if she will eat it, let her, even if it's junk food. Vitamins are easier to supplement than fat, protien and calories.

She had nutritional supplements prescribed and attended play sessions around eating new foods, which were based on her cooking new textures/playing with food. The play sessions were very useful; she would often end up tasting something while she was playing/cooking, and it would sometimes be added to her list of food she would eat, even if just for a few days.

She grew out of it by secondary school and was later diagnosed as autistic. She's 22 now, she still has some minor issues, e.g foods cannot touch, certain foods cannot be on a plate with other foods, she needs a certain type of fork, but her overall diet is varied and fairly healthy.

I don't think anyone would have worried at all if she was eating the variety of foods mentioned in your OP.

Re the processed food, we were advised by a pediatric nutritionist to try DD on these foods because they are designed to be highly palatable to children, and as I said, vitamins are easier to supplement than everything else.

Another trick we learned was to add/hide food, usually in a way where she could take it out if it couldn't be completely hidden. When she went through a phase of eating Angel Delight, we made it with full-fat milk, added cream and protein powder, and offered a bowl of fruit to dip in it. Her bolognese phase was awesome because we could make the tomato sauce fresh and blend in bland veggies like celery and spinach. Yorkshire puddings were a bit harder, but I did learn you can blend a small/tiny amount of veg into the batter without noticeably affecting the texture. Spinach can be blended into most things without affecting the taste or texture.

For pizza, try adding cooked veg on top of it. With the fish fingers, add homemade salsa for dipping, salad or veg in the sarnies, that kind of thing.

Does she eat some carbs, protein, and fruit/veg in total?
Sounds like she might be missing out on fibre.
Milk & a vitamin is a good idea.

Clicked on here looking for inspiration to discover she eats way more than my child! The thing is you can’t force feed a child, you have to ensure you are not creating a stressful situation. I worry all the time about what my child eats but am careful
not to let that worry show.

Yes, it is the case with some children.

They very often grow out of it, though.

I wouldn't be overly worried @WittyFawn

I'm sorry you're disappointed in the replies you've had so far. MN can be a bear pit sometimes.

My now 16 year old has autism and sensory issues relating to food.

When he was 6 he ate under 10 things. At 16 he is expanding out all the time and surprises me often with what he eats- last night he ate a green salad that incouded grapes, feta cheese, seeds, nuts etc. He's literally never eaten it before.

I worked for years with a paediatric dietician trying to expand his food choices. But I never really spoke about it to others because it was a sensitive topic for him and he did not need to be the subject of conversation whenever we were out eating with other people.

I guess to say- give it time. If her brother eats 'normally' then it's probably not a parental inadequacy issue, but something else.

It’s fine. I would just ask what she likes and give her those for the odd time she’s at yours.

Her parents know. They know she will fuss and
not eat, so when visiting or guests over give something they will eat to save yet another headache of not eating again

My 5 year old is the same. He has started to eat more the last year but very fussy. He doesn’t like processed food either so it’s not that he hasn’t been exposed to flavours or only given junk. He just fussy. He’s also low weight so we have been told he must eat what he does eat.

So at home we all eat together and he gets what we are all having, but has choice to select what he wants from table and I add a few things if I know he won’t eat much. we adapt, he tries and eats or doesn’t. But it’s a faff. Often he eats nothing.

if in -laws ask what he eats and we are visiting them I would just say give him buttered pasta with some grated cheese on side, then yoghurt and fruit after as I just prefer ease when visiting as then he will just eat and not complain he hates it or hosts moan he won’t eat. So I just tell them something he’s guaranteed to eat. Doesn’t mean he only ever gets given it at home when we are alone.

It also doesn’t mean we aren’t worried about diet. But when you have spent 5 years trying daily, it’s annoying when well meaning family or friends who rarely see him give advice that of course we have tried for years.

We also didn't discuss DD's eating with most people. Some close family members knew, but not everyone. Mostly because I learned very quickly how much people judge when it comes to parenting, and that no one could understand this wasn't "fussiness" or DD being "spoiled".

I got very bored, very quickly with the following conversation.

"Helpful" person: Oh, I wouldn't put up with that. Don't let her eat dessert until she eats her veggies
Me: I don't think you understand, she will only eat carrots. She won't eat dessert.
HP: Just don't give her anything else until she's eaten her dinner. She'll eat when she's hungry.
Me: She won't.
HP: She will.
Me: OK [hands DD a bowl of carrots]

Wow I think a lot of posters have been unnecessarily unkind.

I can understand why you worry, she has a very narrow diet with little nutritional range/variety. Th diet is unhealthy and I would expect the parents to be slowly and gently trying to introduce some more healthier options.

Unfortunately I don’t think there’s much you can do, needs to be her parents. At most you can model eating a variety of foods and have some different foods readily available when she visits to try if she wants.

Why have you said she’ll only eat one thing when your post actually names 5 things?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫 Pretty sure she’ll eat more than those 5. She’s your great granddaughter, leave the worry to her mother and grandmother.

Hello OP I’m sorry you’ve had some unkind replies. I am a good mum, I breastfed and weaned to home made purées but dd had to go to nursery when I went back to work and I’m sure the food ruined her - it was healthy, but identical week in and week out. She started to refuse new food and restricted the foods she previously liked.

By age 5 she was very picky. Happily her preferences included lots of vegetables and a good selection of main meals (but no fruit at all!) so she had a very good diet overall but she was skinny and I worked for years to increase volume and type of food she’d eat. She reintroduced fruit age 10 and really grew out of it aged 14.

Absolutely nothing I did made a difference- growing our own food, cooking with her, visiting foreign countries or restaurants. I learned you can’t force someone to try new food. You can keep offering. Eventually they might try for themselves.

I think it is right to be concerned but you won’t succeed if you force the issue.

I remember last year dd told me she likes chickpeas as if she’d been eating them her whole life. I just nodded and said ok curry at the weekend then. Best to play it low key, even when you’re winning.

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated. I can assure everyone I am not an interfering GGmother, just a bit of a worried one and very much involved I all my families as I love them and vice versa

Just agreeing with every word here. Mumsnet has seemed quite growly today. Though remember some of the responses aren't even human. Some are AI generated, for some reason!

Your dgd will be fine. Yes, many children go through this phase. Keep the pressure off. Cook what she eats but whatever you want for yourself. It's good for her to see other food and to see what is out there. You can always offer her a carrot stick, or slice of apple, but don't push. She will get there in her own time.

Home made pizza with PASSATA sauce,
blitz in other veg. Add fresh food like chicken.
dos she eat baked beans? Drink orange joice / apple juice?
what about smoothies, a bit of milkshake can hide blitzed fruit.