Preschoolers with hospital appointment and newborn?

[wishIwasonholiday10]

My 3 year old has an appointment for an MRI under GA. As her Mum I want to be there for her but I also have a 1 month old who is mostly breastfed. In this situation do we all go (both parents and newborn) or do I just let my husband take her? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I feel guilty leaving it to DH to deal with as well as I’m expecting to it be awful watching her get put under and maybe stressful after too if she is upset.

You could pump and leave baby with your husband, or husbands goes. No chance they will allow you all there

Much better for only one person to be there.

Let her dad take her, this is life with two children, divide and conquer, it will be fine.

I'd probably all go to the hospital and tag team where needed.

My child has done a lot of MRIs under GA (and other GAs as well). For us only one adult at a time allowed with her but we are both at the hospital for a bit of support.

The other question is, it depends on what the MRI is for to an extent. If it's to check on something orthopedic then one of you is probably fine, if it's to look for cancer for example, then have both of you there perhaps.

I take a packed lunch for my kid as they like to see them eat something when they wake and familiar food can be a bit easier.

Best of luck

My daughter had a few hospital stays when my son was a baby and my husband mostly took her in. I didn’t want to expose my son to hospital germs and thought it best for her to have 1:1 attention. It was fine (well as fine as it could be)

When she had to get taken in by ambulance they actually wouldn’t let me bring the baby. My husband was working away so I had to drop him at a friend’s at midnight and they brought him to me for feeds for a couple of days. Hospitals really aren’t keen on well children being there.

I agree. I had a very similar situation with my own dc.

I'd probably all go to the hospital, and then just you and your daughter in the appointment room.

My older son was allowed to accompany myself and my youngest to several hospital appointments (my youngest had a string of them). My dentist allowed me to take in both my then toddler and few month old baby when I needed an emergency treatment. My youngest came to a hearing appointment for my eldest, we waited outside and looked through a window while he did the tests.

I would go with DH if you can, then he can be with your 1 month old in between breast feeds whilst you go in with your 3 year old. I would always prefer to be with whichever child is at the GP/hospital myself. I am extremely thorough, always ask a lot of questions and like the consistency across every appointment so I know where everything is at.

Good luck!

You won't be any use to your dd if you're going to be panicking about it when you're there. I get that it's hard seeing your DC getting any sort of medical procedure but I assume there's something going on that she needs an MRI for, in which case which of you is going to be able to hold it together better for your dd? She needs someone who she can feel secure with not feed off negativity.

That's harsh. I'm sorry. Ds had a GA for a tongue tie at 3 years old, so I know what it feels like. Exdh was absolutely useless and got ds even more in a state than he already was in unknown hospital and strange people around him. I held it together until the moment the doors closed behind him when they wheeled him through.

What's the MRI for? Will you get results straight away? If, heaven forbid, you are going to an appointment where there is a chance you will be told you 3 year old has cancer or something, I would definately both be at the appointment. If you can, get LO used to a bottle first and leave her with someone. If that really isn't possible all go.

If it's less dramatic, I would either get sorted to leave the baby with DH (practice with expressed breast milk and bottle feeding) or let DH go with to the appointment. No point exposing a baby to hospital germs etc, and no point 4 of you taking up space in waiting areas etc.

Thanks all for your thoughts! This is what I had in mind. Both being at the hospital and tag teaming if needed (versus just sending DH). We don’t both need to be in the waiting room the whole time.

Generally I’m the one who is calmer in these sort of situations as DH gets stressed out easily by medical stuff (I’m stressed about the GA too but I can hide it) which is one of the reasons I want to go in with her. I don’t want to leave baby at home with pumped milk as I’m still at the stage where I would have to pump every 3 hours at hospital if I wasn’t feeding and that would be too distracting if I was the only adult at the hospital with DD.

We won’t have the results on the day. It is to see if there is any neurological cause for some development delays and the results will be reviewed by the neurologist.

Only one of you will be allowed in while they anaesthetise her and the baby will definitely not be allowed in the anaesthetic room. So either tag team or one of you go.

Only one parent should be there for practical reasons, only one parent can be in the restricted area

I'd go with everyone going and tag teaming, can DH be with baby in the cafe or similar and come and swap out when baby needs fed?
I know if it was my DD she'd want me there over DH and DH definitely gets more stressed out with these things than I do. Hope all goes okay on the day OP.

Given it's potentially serious (though hopefully not) then I'd tag team. Assuming all hospitals are broadly the same what will happen is:

• you'll be given the timings on when she needs to stop food/liquids in advance.
• arrive and check in. For us it's usually a day ward.
• parent fills out forms and is visited in turn by a variety of professionals. Usually a nurse, the anaesthetist and the radiographer. They'll ask a lot of questions, them be a fair amount of repetition.
• they may put emla cream on as they'll be cannulating. This is pretty superfluous for us because they use gas to get my daughter asleep and do the cannula when she's under, but they still give the emla in case there are issues.
• she'll either need to wear non metallic clothing or a hospital gown. Nothing with zips, poppers, metal sequins, glitter etc. Most of the time as long as we've been careful etc with our choices they've let her keep her clothes on, but it varies.
• they'll put name bands on her.
• they'll do obs.
• the anaesthetist will go through a horrible risk form, though be assured the risks are tiny. But he's got to formally go through it.
• if she has a pre med to relax her (some kids do, some don't) then they'll probably transfer her on a trolley. The pre meds are yucky, just try warn you.
• if no pre meda you may be able to just walk down, we have pre meds do I can't remember.
• you'll go into an anaesthetic room and if it's gas induction that'll be gently introduced, or interested if they are using cannula. In my experience the first time is ok, it's usually the second that the kid gets more stressed.
• you can be there and reassure, hold hand etc, but obviously don't get in the way. Once asleep, quick kiss and leave. Check how long they think it'll be, have a coffee and wait where they tell your to. They may come and find you, or call you once she's awake in recovery, make sure you know how they'll contact you.
• she may be fine very quickly, she may be sleepy, queasy or hysterical. Everyone comes round differently.
• you'll then be transferred up to somewhere (for us back to the day ward), to chill for a bit rest and drink something, cannula out, some obs and then home.

Take an overnight emergency bag just in case, though it's unlikely it'll be needed.

The whole shebang has for us taken at is quickest 4.5hrs and at it's longest 12 hours (though there were reasons). I'm pleased if we get it in under 6 hours.

Best of luck. Its not a nice experience but it's manageable. I find them more challenging awake with a child then asleep tbh. I hope you get some answers.

Thanks for such a detailed response! That is basically what I’m expecting to happen based on the pre procedure phone call. I’ve already mentally prepared myself once while still pregnant but last time it was cancelled due to illness. I’m just sad that now I can’t give it my full attention due to having the baby too.

I think DD would be just happy with her Dad there but I tend to be the calmer one in medical situations.

DS had an operation for adenoids out under GA when DD was 6 weeks old and we all went. DH went in with him when he went under but DS was quite upset when he woke up and I was glad I was there. Baby was no trouble really but I couldn't have left her with the feeding. Hospital were fine with it as we checked in pre op call.
Apart from being a bit upset when they wake up try not to worry about GA.

the anaesthetist will go through a horrible risk form, though be assured the risks are tiny. But he's got to formally go through it

How about ‘But they formally have to go through it’. You know, in this day and age it may even be a woman. Not meaning to be picky but by 2026 this sort of systemic ingrained sexism is just shit.

@wishIwasonholiday10 Good luck with it all. The anaesthetists are extremely competent people, I wouldn’t worry on that front. I know many and have met scores over the years professionally and, unlike many other specialties, I can’t recall one who I wouldn’t have been extremely comfortable taking care of myself, kids or family members. While yes, there is risk, there is actually more risk of being run over by an out of control car while walking down the street. Always helpful to frame things this way as many people get anxious about medical procedures yet don’t think twice about everyday activities that actually carry more risk!

Of course it might be a woman, just my child's usually anaesthetist is a man, so I was thinking about what he does.

Her neurologist as a woman, her oncologists are women, her main surgeon is a man.

I was typing with one finger on my non-dominant hand whilst said child was falling asleep on my other arm. My aim was to get the post done with a minimum amount of nonsensical typos.

Let's not derail here.