Would this make me a bad mum?

[leavepartner]

My youngest child (3) has been in hospital for two weeks after a planned operation went awry. We were discharged and then had to come in again a few days later due to complications. We are now here (5 hours away by car) until the beginning of December.

I have seen my eldest child (6) for only a few hours after we were discharged. They were being looked after by close family whilst we were away and had a whale of a time by all accounts. Currently being looked after by other family members.

Would it make me a bad mum to leave my child at hospital with my partner (child’s dad) and go home to visit my other child for a few days before coming back? They will be at school during the day but it would also give me chance to do washing, admin, general life stuff before coming back for another months stay.

What would you do?

It's absolutely fine. Go home. See your other child. Your youngest will be fine with his dad for a few days.

@ManGetOutPeas Thank you for commenting. Think I will see out the weekend and make sure nothing major is happening next week and jump on a train x

Not bad at all. Even if it was just going back to get a good sleep that would be acceptable.

when DS has been in hospital my mum has always covered at least one night a week just so I can go home shower and try to rest!

hope things improve soon x

Definitely- you must go, it’s very important that you spend some time with them too. As pp has said, your youngest will be fine with her Dad.

I really feel for you all, such a stressful and difficult time.

Of course not! Go and see your other child. Hope you’re all home for good ASAP :)

Could you and dad do a week on/week off type approach for the next month or so so both children have one of you with them at any point? Assuming the “danger” time has now passed?

will also give you both some time for self care when the eldest is at school.

Yes, I think that's actually the better thing to do, your oldest might be feeling a bit confused or abandoned, even if they seem okay on the surface. It would help reassure them. Your youngest will still have a parent with them.

No, this sounds like a very good plan. Your other child will want to see you and you can’t be a good parent unless you look after yourself.

I think you have to priorise both children. I hope your youngest is out of hospital and fully recovered very soon.

Not wrong and not unusual either, lots of families who have a child who spends lots of time in hospital set up similar routines, both children are equally important. I wish your little one well.

@SirzyOh my bed calls to me every night. Managed two nights in it after two weeks here and it was heaven!

Yes we were planning on doing this after this weekend when we have more plans in place for after school club and changing work shift patterns to accommodate. X

@Catonacoldfridgefreezer My favourite time of year with the run up to
christmas too! X

@ResusciAnnie Me too! Very unexpected so I think getting home even for a day or two will do me the world of good! X

@ManchesterGirl2 Yes will definitely need mum cuddles. Only been away when my youngest was born x

Yes nothing beats your own bed after a stay in parent accommodation! Hope things start to improve for you all soon x

That's fine. I had to leave my youngest (newborn) to see my eldest as I had never been away from him in his life until his sibling was born. There was actually times my baby was in the hospital without either of us (which absolutely broke me) because I had had a c-section so my husband had to drive me back and to between both children. Lots of crying up and down the motorway! But at the end of the day both your kids are equally important and if your youngest has their dad with them they'll be fine x