Think my 2.7 year old has ADHD?

[Mummytotwo90]

Looking for some advice as I’m really struggling with my toddler and have been since he was born! He was literally wide awake since birth and has never slept in his own room, even now he won’t stay in his bed for more than an hour asleep and he’s up.

He’s a climber and can climb out of any baby gates I’ve gotten, I even bought extra tall ones and he’s still climbing over (he is really tall for his age).

My health visitor came out to see us at home and he was just everywhere, jumping off the back of the couch, hanging off the blinds and trying to open the windows. Throwing toys at me and her and just running wild, he actually was trying to climb onto her head during the visit. She’s referred him for an ADHD assessment and I’ve already completed the referral forms just waiting for an actual appointment.

I really think he has ADHD but his nursery is saying they didn’t notice any signs of it. At home he is wild and I don’t mean that lightly, he literally wakes up hyper and doesn’t nap at all, he won’t sit down hardly ever, only because I put him into his highchair he has no choice and does eat then, otherwise he throws his food and just runs riot.

He’s a really intelligent boy and so loving but his tantrums are awful he will throw things and attack me and his older sibling until I physically have to restrain him, usually putting him in the high chair as the naughty step doesn’t work he won’t stay on and runs up the stairs etc.

My eldest had ADHD and wasn’t like this as a toddler, he would actually sit down and play, read books with me and do puzzles etc, my youngest won’t he just throws everything and runs off.

Will they diagnose him with ADHD, if he’s been given a referral as my eldest wasn’t even referred this young until he was about 6/7 years old!

Just wondering if they even diagnose this young and what they would do if he was or what happens?

Has anyone dealt with anything similar or any advice would be massively appreciated.

TIA x

I could be wrong but I thought they didn't look into ADHD symptoms till 6 years old officially. My oldest is going through assessments now at age 10 now.

But as a toddler and baby have very little sleep needs. Allways running around, i would try to set up an activity but sje would move onfrom it so fast, eg painting would last 5 mins.
What planned activity's are you doing for him to manage his engery, we have found for my DD its sports, swimming, long walks, I would walk her in her pram miles just to get her to sleep as a baby it would take 1h+ for her to settle. We go to the park, soft play, toddler groups, just generally being out and about. She would still be running laps around the house at bedtime,
At home we did lots of messy play, bubbles, chalk drawing outside, I bought crash mats, made obstacle courses in the house, put her in the bath to play with water, play dough, dancing to songs. It was a full time job.

however I found it helped to be out with her me as she wasn't going crazy in the home.

She would and still dose at age 10, swing from the top of my doors, climb my kitchen countertops, jump on all the furniture and more.

Even now she doesn't like to be home a lot, we can be out all day and she will still ask to go out in the evenings.

DS1 was always moving. From about 6weeks.

always on the go. Like a Duracell bunny.

diagnosed with ADHD age 7. Once we had the diagnosis we realised it explained so much!

if the HV has referred you already then clearly they saw what you see.

and given the genetic element it is much more likely your child will be diagnosed young.

our 2nd child presented differently to our first so was 8 at diagnosis.

I understand it is not common to diagnose under the age of 5. Sometimes “watchful waiting” is employed.

BUT I know of one family where the father was already diagnosed earlier in life and their first child was diagnosed at age 3 and 2nd child too.

so. Given the genetic element I would have thought that yes you are likely to get a full assessment and then a discussion of what to do next.

and fwiw sometimes nurseries don’t know what they don’t know. And so they say yes he is fine when they see a boisterous little boy “just like all the others” but if they had a ND trained team then they might stop and think before they said that.

hopefully your assessor will take their comments with a pinch of salt.

also use examples from swim classes or tumble tots or rugger kids (or whatever extra stuff you do with him)

As you know to be diagnosed the symptoms need to be present in more than 1 setting. But the HV has seen what you see so you are likely to find the evidence from some aspect of his life.

best of luck.

It’s hard to do activities with him as like your daughter he just moves onto another one almost immediately. He’s in nursery one day a week but I’m going to increase it to two as I need the extra break unfortunately. He goes to playgroup twice a week and I usually take him to a play centre once a week, mainly due to financial reasons I can’t afford much more as it’s a long drive to get there. I’ve tried painting, playdoh it all gets thrown. He has a half an hour bath every evening as he really enjoys playing in the bath. I’ve also bought lots of sensory toys and have a spin chair he uses. He used to love walks but currently won’t he’s at the ‘throw myself on the floor’ stage and won’t get into the pram or car seat it’s a struggle. I find it really hard taking him out on my own during the day, he’s hard to manage or control and he fights me when it’s time to go, he hits me bites me and pulls my hair and then kicks me if he’s going in the car seat or pram. It’s really overwhelming at the moment and his behaviour is just getting increasingly worse over time. In the school runs for my eldest son it’s a battle even getting him to walk the school, lately I have to just put my hazards on and get my son to run to the car as it’s too hard to get him in and out, I end up with chunks of my hair missing as he’s pulling it out when he’s getting angry with me for putting him in the car seat 🥲 I’m hoping it is ADHD at this point as I’m holding on hope he can be medicated when he’s older and calms down a little 😮‍💨

Yes he’s always struggled with sleep so it’s very hard as I’m tried all day and he just has endless amounts of energy! It’s a shame as the summer was a lot easier as he could just run around the garden as I bought a bouncy castle for him and that seemed to help a lot but it’s raining almost every day, summer was so much better lol. I’m hoping they’ll see the genetic element hopefully as I’m 99% certain he’s got adhd and would explain his behaviour so much. I’m hoping his playgroup might be able to do a statement and evidence for him if his nursery won’t, as he just does laps around the room in playgroup and never sits down. At the end when it comes to the children sitting at the tables to eat a snack I have to carry him out as he usually just throws his everywhere at the other children 🫣 and thank you!

I think increasing nursery days is a good idea to give your child more stimulation and for you to get a bit of a space, and to see if they will pick up anything then. Goid idea about a statement from playgroup. Lots of movement, changes of activities, time outside etc may be a priority for the next few years if he's so active to burn the energy. If he's been referred, the services will want to exclude other potential causes of his behaviour. I agree with previous poster, it is extremely unlikely for such a young child to be assessed for ADHD, diagnosed and medicated, and there is likely some watchful waiting involved.

Your description of your Ds reminds me of my younger Ds. He too stood out to health professionals who meet him and was formally diagnosed with ADHD for his third birthday after months of assessments by tier 3 CAHMS. It’s rare to have happen but some kids are more affected than others and show at a far earlier age.

The lack of sleep and none stop noise got to the point I would have confessed to anything to make it stop. DS was finally found a place in a special needs nursery, had a formal Ed Psych assessment, lots of input from supportive health services, started in a special school then had a gradual planned transition into an inclusive main stream with a very good reputation for meeting needs or SEN kids and none SEN kids. He went to after school club one day a week as part of his education plan paid for by school.

All I can say is this IF you truly have a child whose ADHD is very present from such an early age reach out for as much help as you can in your local area. It can make a world of difference.

Knowing I could leave mine at nursery and go home to sleep meant I had enough energy to be a good enough mum. Childproofing only goes so far, my son loves solving puzzles and childproofing was an easy one for him to solve. I had to resort to keeping house keys on me at all times or he was out. He had to have his own room as he did not sleep. Managed to put some ground rules in place so he could be awake and doing safer activities as he got older (thank you CAHMS and Lego) but it was hell till then. DH would deal with him between 12 till 5am so I could get some sleep and function. He had meds for a short period of time for ADHD simply so he could learn some basic safety rules and the core basics for learning them stopped as they did not suit him.

DS went on to secondary with a plan, completed sixth form, entered a higher apprenticeship gaining degree, money and extra qualifications with no student loan (his choice as he thought uni was not hands on enough and he would be bored) and has worked ever since. he is still a high energy none stop person but spends his spare time doing repairs and jobs for others. He still has a good group of friends from secondary who get him. At pre and primary school I never imagined having had support early would help but it has.

My goodness

Sounds like my DS, it’s like he’s constantly on speed, barely sleeps and bounces around non-stop, it’s beyond exhausting. ADHD is hard.
I’d recommend a small trampoline if you can find the space indoors. We got a secondhand one and some foam mats to put it on. A wobble board is also good and when he gets bigger, a doorway gym. You need to help him channel his constant need to move so it doesn’t get too destructive.

He sounds like all two year old boys

It's just too early to say. My dd was like this although it was more the mental than physical energy that set her apart. She barely napped, needed little sleep and needed constant entertainment. Wouldn't sit still and entertain herself for 30 seconds. Wouldn't stay at an activity for 5 minutes. It was relentless and exhausting.

She's now 6 and I'm still on the fence about ADHD, although increasingly thinking she may have it. She's very bright but gets into a lot of low level trouble at school - talking, not listening, not sitting, that sort of thing. But she is managing okay for now.

I'm not anticipating being sure enough to go down the assessment route for another couple of years yet. I've still not ruled out that it may just be an active, high energy mind.

Update (if anyone’s interested)
Unfortunately his behaviour isn’t typical ‘toddler behaviour’.

I’ve recently been called into a meeting with his nursery to discuss his behaviour and they have stated they believe he is SEN and that they will have to be in touch with his health visitor to set up a SEN plan.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind as his behaviour has really declined, they won’t agree to another day in nursery until a plans been put in place, so that’s a little disheartening but I’m so glad they have finally noticed he has ADHD.

They have a sensory room in nursery and he loves it, so I’m going to try incorporating the same at home (although we have quite a lot already). They have also said he hates messy play, so they are no longer going to encourage it as it’s distressing him too much.

It’s upsetting that he has got ADHD and is suffering at such an early age but it’s also such a relief I know I’m not just assuming it’s typical ‘terrible twos’ I don’t know any of my friends or families toddlers who are like this.

My eldest has adhd and asd, takes medication for the adhd symptoms which help. So I’m used to dealing with this to some extent but my youngest is extremely more hyperactive than my eldest ever was. My eldest suffers more with the attention side, although he is hyperactive it’s no where near as bad as my youngest.

Im holding on hope his behaviour improves as he gets older and medication can help. Life is just very difficult at the moment as he is extremely hard to manage, soon as nursery can do another day I’ll be glad to get the extra help/break. I love him but wow I can’t keep up with his sensory needs!

Thank you for everyone’s replies and advice from those who have went through this too ❤️