Tips for hospital stay with toddler

[RoRoBT]

My daughter (18 months) is due to go for heart surgery in the next few months with a few hospital stays far from home beforehand, we did a day in the hospital last week and she didn’t want to stay in the room for long because she associated it with nurses and doctors. I’m trying to think of stuff to bring to engage her as we will be in for long days and then for a few weeks when she has surgery. I have bought a tonies box but if anyone has any other ideas that worked for their toddler I’d love to hear them - thanks

Snacks (if allowed), the food is always different to what the little ones are used to and often served at the wrong time.

I was in with my then seven month old for bronchiolitis last year, the next bay over was a 2.5year old who had been admitted before so parents were much better prepared than us. They went full screens, Disney+, rules out the window.

We took a teddy, Teddy wore the oxygen mask (which we then could redirect at baby's nose and mouth) when my baby kept ripping it off, so doing a useful task

Thanks! Will try the teddy idea, that’s a great shout thanks. I’m trying to introduce screen time which I didn’t think I’d be saying but needs must

Doctors set so she can examine teddy and the nurses.
Bois about being in hospital - Peppa Pig etc.

My son was much older at 8 but he ended up staying in for 10 months and was often roomies with babies/toddlers.

I'm assuming it is a children's hospital? If so, they usually have a playroom on the ward with plenty of toys and will have a play team that can do some age appropriate crafts, games etc with her.

All of the screen time she wants.

Blanket/cuddly toys to make it feel more home like.

Keep in mind as well that when she has the surgery, she likely won't be up for much at first. My son has had several bowel surgeries and he had the odd bit of screen time at first but often spent most of his time trying to doze between observations.

Will she spend any time in PICU because it's heart surgery? My son started out in PICU and when he was moved to the shared bay, his roomies were often heart babies. If so, I'd consider some ear defenders if she'll wear them and she's in a shared bay. PICU is incredibly noisy with all of the extra machines and sometimes it was the only way my son could get some sleep at night.

We recently went in for day surgery so not the same, but definitely embrace screen time.

Otherwise familiar snacks on hand (my LO seemed to be starving) and we bought her a little doctors kit in advance which she loves.

She also flat out refused to nap in the hospital bed, so for us, the pram was really useful for actually getting her to sleep..

Also think about things that will help you! Make sure you have plenty of drinks and snacks for you, kindle or similar for the long nights, comfy pillow and blanket.

Have a look at pyjama fairies too - they are a charity which made lovely gowns for children having surgery which may be nicer for her than a hospital one!

I can’t even get my head around the fact that she’ll be in the picu for a few days, but that’s such brilliant advice thanks, I bought them for traveling on the plane when she was a baby but would never have thought to bring them to hospital

I will definitely get a doctors set too - I really appreciate all of your responses as I feel very out of my depth

Screen time is going to be a great idea in hospital. Remember screen time is not unilaterally bad, it’s bad when it replaces other activities like playing etc but when she’s unwell in hospital then I can’t think of anything better. Bing on BBC is a great gentle one to start with.

Stickers, teddys, ipad (screentime was a saviour for us during blood tests etc even though we dont like to do it at home)

My little one was very sleepy after surgery so didnt need much enteraining until nearer to discharge.

Good luck ❤❤❤❤

PICU is quite different to a normal ward. I was there for 7 weeks with my son and it can feel a bit scary at first when you do move to the ward since PICU is often 1:2 patient ratio and on a regular ward it is 1:4 so you can feel a bit lost at first, though you may not feel that as much if you'll only be there for a few days but just in case. PICU is definitely an emotional rollercoaster and it can be upsetting, not just seeing your child with tubes etc but seeing other children as well and you also may see sobbing parents in the corridor. Brace yourself, just in case.

If you can, have a chat with some of the other parents. My son didn't have heart surgery but he was recovering from a cardiac arrest and was on ecmo for 5 days. PICU is such a unique place, only other parents truly understand what it is like.

If there's a parent room, don't be afraid to use it to have a little break when she is sleeping. A nurse will never be far away or someone on the play team may be able to sit with her. They will not think you're a bad parent for taking a moment, I promise. They encourage it in my experience.

I hope your daughter's surgery goes well and she makes a speedy recovery.

If you're going to be in for weeks rather than days, try and accept all help you're given and spread the load as much as possible. Screen time is absolutely your friend here - we watched so much Cbeebies which was great as I could just set the channel going and he would often fall asleep while watching. We went through stacks of library books too.

DS1 was in for over a month in traction, aged 3 - we rotated a couple of nights each sleeping next to his bed between me, DH, MIL and my parents. It allowed each of us to come home every few days and have some time away from the hospital. If it had just been me sleeping there on the ward with him every night I would have gone stark raving mad with the lack of sleep, the noise and the other poor children crying and families too - so many sad stories that you can't help but overhear. We sometimes had friends and godparents come in and sit with DS1 during the day as well and read to him or play duplo or train sets on a lap desk, just so we could go get a coffee or have a walk around the corridors. But we couldn't do that too much as he was often tired and sleepy or in pain and fractious. There was a play team that came round every so often but it was unpredictable. We weren't allowed to walk with him in the pushchair as he was in traction in bed, but sometimes the nurses would offer move his whole bed out into the play area just for a change of scene and we'd "go for a ride".

I remember so many people wanted to help or said "is there anything we can do" and I quickly learned to say yes to anything people were willing to provide - meals, washing, school runs for DS2, bringing library books back and forth as we were getting through about one an hour. One mum of DS1's friend even came in and cleaned out my fridge as we had been rushed to hospital so suddenly there was a load of out of date food mouldering away that we all forgot about. It was surprising who had the time and imagination to offer real help, often they were not people I was particular friends with beforehand but they just seemed to know what we needed.

I still have dreams about those weeks on the ward with DS1, even with the amazing support we had it was such a difficult time. Please take care of yourself too OP.

I hope your son is doing well now @Kirbert2 that sounds like an awful lot that ye went through! Thanks for the info on the picu

He's doing well now thanks. He was in hospital for 10 months overall, lots of ups and downs but he's been home since January thankfully.

My 12 year old was in and out a lot as a toddler so i became something of an expert.

I second pyjama fairies, they are brilliant.

A second adult if you can, so someone can sit with your child while you shower, you can take it in turns to get food etc.

Bring snacks for you for when your toddler doesn't want to be left but you are starving.

video calls with friends and family. They can read a story to your little one or have a chat and you can have a break.

Sometimes they give children a load of fluid in a drip in theatre in case they don't want to drink much afterwards. Check if they do that and if they do, check her nappy frequently. I assumed as my son hadn't drunk anything he wouldn't wee either, big mistake!

There are always loads of magazines like take a break etc in the parents room. Don't read them, they are full of doom and gloom. Bring a light hearted book that doesn't require a lot of thinking. I read sweet valley twins in hospital.

bring a pillow for you. Hospital pillows are rustly and there are never enough because people steal them (goodness knows why).

bring a rucksack instead of a handbag that's big enough for your valuables (phone, tablet, purse etc)

don't forget your chargers.

take a photo of your toddler in PICU. You might not want to look at it but your little one might when she is older. My son has a photobook of photos from "when he was poorly" that he likes to look through sometimes.

take photos of your little ones teddy doing things when she is in theatre. She may be a bit young for this but my son asked me when he was about 3 or 4 what teddy did when he was asleep. So i took a load of photos of him having a coffee, browsing in the shop, carrying out a bar of chocolate bigger than him etc.

sometimes by rebecca Elliott is a brilliant book for toddlers about being in hospital and also the hospital dog by julia Donaldson. I find they are realistic without being frightening. Unlike peppa pig goes to hospital where pedro the pony breaks his leg and the nursery class all go together to visit him in hospital.

The picture one is something I forgot, such a good tip.

18 months later, my son loves that I took pictures of everything, especially his PICU days. I think it helped him understand and process everything that happened too.

Yes I agree with the pictures. I thought the nurse who suggested it to me was insane but years down the line they have helped me a lot with processing things.

I’m so grateful to you all for taking the time to reply with such useful info and I’m so glad I asked for your input. I’ll be adding all of these to the list. I’m so scared and hoping that if I’m super prepared that I can make it somewhat easier for her. Thanks again